Jake Plummer: Still Better Than You

November 13, 2008 at 11:02am by Scott   •  2 Comments »

It’s been a while since we’ve checked in on the magical fairyland of snow-capped mountains and cheerleaders (and, perhaps, snow-capped cheerleaders) that is Jake Plummer‘s life. When last we left him, Jake was residing in rural Idaho with his new wife (former Bronco cheerleader Kollette Klassen) and passing his time playing handball and Frisbee and laughing at you as you trudge off to the job you hate for another ten hour day of coffee and Powerpoint. And I don’t mean the royal “you”. I mean you, specifically. Jake takes time out of his day to thank Jesus that he isn’t you.

These days it’s more of the same, although the handball has been ratcheted up a notch.

Jake occasionally travels to weekend tournaments and recently had his father-in-law try handball for the first time. Last spring, while playing with [Jimmy] Slavin, they discussed Jake’s using his celebrity to help promote the sport. He decided to host a tournament in Coeur d’Alene, with the proceeds going through his Jake Plummer Foundation to several local charities. Jake made some calls, and soon eight of the world’s elite pros had agreed to play in Jake Plummer’s First Annual Halloween Handball Bash.

So after Jake’s football career, he picked another sports-related hobby and turned it into a way to hobnob with that sport’s elite players while simultaneously raising money for charity. And when he’s done for the day, he returns home to his 47 acres.

On Saturday night, one of the competitors picked up a raffle prize, a football signed by the 2008 Denver Broncos. “How’re they doing this year?” Jake asked with a wry smile. Clearly he doesn’t keep close tabs on his former team.

“So, how’s the new guy doing? What’s that you say? Diabetes and a hand injury? Yeah, I’m coming back real soon. If you’ll excuse me now, I’m going to nail my wife on the hood of my Range Rover.” The article starts out with the question, “Where in the world is Jake Plummer?” The answer is right here:

I know you want to hate Jake. So do I, but it’s impossible. That’s like hating sunshine or puppies or everything else intrinsically good in the universe. You just have to stand there in your stained XXL T-shirt with the hole in the armpit holding your can of pork n’ beans with the fork sticking out of it and laugh. Laugh at the fact that, like a rainbow, you can observe and admire Jake’s life but never actually touch it.