Has ‘Epic Fail’ Ever Been More Appropriate?

December 09, 2008 at 12:48pm by Scott   •  1 Comment »

It didn’t start off so bad. At the end of the first half it was only 10-3 and the Bucs had given up about 150 yards of offense, which isn’t all that bad. There was still hope even though the defense was showing signs of wearing out early. And then the whole thing just fell the fuck apart like the plot of a M. Night Shyamalan movie. Was there a strip club in Charlotte giving away free lap dances after 11:00 or something? What could have possibly been the defense’s excuse for the fourth quarter of that game?

The second half of this game was an old-fashioned ass pounding. The Panthers offensive line and running backs took the entire Buccaneer defense to the woodshed, beat the shit out of them, took their lunch money, kicked their dogs and slapped their mamas. There were no missed calls and this wasn’t one that “could have been if only”. They could have played this game ten times, and ten times they would have lost.

And forget Jake Delhomme. He made some plays that had to be made (especially to Steve Smith,) but he didn’t put on any kind of show. The fact that he was rarely ever pressured certainly didn’t help. The Bucs got their only sack of Delhomme in the first quarter (when they were still relatively fresh) and that drive ended in a field goal. A couple more of those throughout the game and this one would have been within reach in the fourth quarter.

The defensive line was ridiculous. They got zero pressure on Delhomme, failed to plug up running lanes and couldn’t tackle for shit. The Panthers rushed for 301 yards (the stat sheet says 299, but Delhomme took two kneeldowns at the end of the game) and passed for 173. Jovan Haye was out of the game, and maybe I’ve underestimated him. I haven’t seen him do anything so great throughout the season, but maybe he was some kind of weird glue that was holding the line together. Is it a coincidence that the line fell apart for the game that he wasn’t in?

I’m looking at the stats and I can’t believe that Chris Hovan leads the defensive line in tackles with five. Hovan was getting run down all game long. He looked slow and weak and out of shape. He eventually left the game with an injury. Was it something he was playing with all game and it was hindering his performance, or was it the result of not enough time in the weight room? Hovan has consistently been one of the best linemen for the Bucs for years, so I’m going to assume that some kind of injury was keeping him down last night.

Gaines Adams does not show up on the stat sheet. Not a sack, not a tackle, not a “QB hurry” — nothing.

I was going to give some props to the Carolina offensive line for this performance, but fuck that. Even if the Buc d-line had been stood up on the line of scrimmage for every play and never gotten a bit of penetration, they still could have tackled well after the initial push. At least it would have kept the big runs down to a minimum. But they didn’t. Broken arm tackles, poor form cuts and outright whiffs were what we got.

The linebackers were no better. Cato June, Derrick Brooks and Barrett Ruud all missed tackles. DeAngelo Williams must have thighs made of kryptonite because linebackers just kept bouncing off them. A couple of Brooks’s misses were especially visible and made him look old and busted.

Hey, two interceptions on the night. Not bad, right? Jermaine Phillips‘s pick was a pretty sweet display of concentration and Ronde Barber‘s interception was perfectly timed. But that was it as far as good news in the secondary.

Every member of that secondary missed at least one tackle. And coverages were blown on multiple occasions. I don’t know if that’s the result of poor decisions by the players or Monte Kiffin making some stupid coaching choices, but it was just embarrassing. There is absolutely no excuse for having Steve Smith single covered at any point ever. Delhomme only completed 14 passes. NINE of them went to Smith. Muhsin Muhammad had three grabs, but he was a last resort on two of them. Their entire passing game is all about Steve Smith. How can he still gash the Bucs for 117 yards and a TD if they know it’s coming?

I’ll tell you how. All the cutsie trends in football are meaningless. The spread offense or the interminable pre-snap shifting… it’s all just window dressing. If a team can run the ball and stop the run, they will almost always win. Why? Because the run game starts at the line of scrimmage and requires a physical presence to be successful. If your line physically dominates your opponent and you are able to impose your running game on them, you will break their spirit. Carolina’s complete dominance of the Bucs was no magic trick. There were no trick plays and no one was outcoached. They just executed better and beat the Bucs into submission. Vince Lombardi is looking down and shedding a tear of pride at the Carolina performance last night. This was his kind of game.

Okay, how about the offense, though? Not bad. Jeff Garcia actually pulled the trigger on some long passes last night and it paid off. It turns out that if you give your best players a chance to make plays on the ball, they’ll come up with it a lot of the time. Despite the risk taking, Garcia still had no interceptions and a passer rating over 100. He misfired on a couple throws, but was also let down by a few of his receivers in the second half. He could have had a completion percentage over 75% without all the drops.

Somehow, I’m not sure how, Warrick Dunn wound up with a 4.9 YPC average on ten carries. Cadillac Williams had a touchdown but was stuffed at the line quite a few times. He had a nice reception, though. B.J. Askew was the superstar who got a first down every time he touched the ball. Clifton Smith dropped the only pass he was thrown.

Dunn’s drops were so frustrating. He had room to run on every play if he had just be able to make the catches. With some shifty moves and acceleration, a couple of those might have gone for some serious yards. I lost count of how many he dropped. Four? Five? Something like that.

And don’t think I forgot about that weak ass chip on Richard Marshall that did nothing and allowed a sack.

The offensive line did a pretty good job, although Jeremy Trueblood got beat for a couple sacks. Donald Penn handled Julius Peppers pretty well most of the night. That tripping penalty was unnecessary, but overall it was a pretty clean game for them. Jeff Faine and Arron Sears had a few nice blocks, too, that helped out Dunn and Williams on their more successful runs. But the running game never really opened up for the Bucs in a big way. At the end of the game, they were looking as gassed as the defense.

And I would be remiss if I left out some clutch Jerramy Stevens catches (and one ridiculously easy drop) and a sweet Alex Smith catch. When they stayed in to block, though, it didn’t seem to make much difference. The edges just weren’t getting sealed.

Now for the good news of the day: Antonio Bryant. His second touchdown alone would have been enough to make him the highlight player of the game, but he just kept making big catch after big catch. First downs, touchdowns, speed, crisp routes, timely adjustments — Bryant had it all last night. Sometimes Garcia laid the ball in perfectly, other times Bryant had to make some adjustments and come back to it, but he caught just about everything. It was a 200 yard game for Bryant, only the second one in Buccaneer history. How good was he? The Bucs lost the game in a miserable fashion, and people are still talking about his performance. Awesome.

Between this and last night’s live chat, I’ve probably written about 2,000 words on this game, so I’m done. The Bucs are 9-4 and currently the top wildcard team. They still control their own playoff destiny if they win out, but they may not get a home game now, which could be fucking disastrous. If things keep shaking out like this, they could find themselves playing at Arizona or at Minnesota in the first round of the playoffs. I think I’d prefer the Cardinals because their running game is weaker. But can the Buccaneer corners match up against Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin? You know what… forget it right now. I’m taking a break.

And, hey, thanks to everyone who participated in the live chat. It was definitely the highlight of the night.