Greg White Just Went Crazy

December 15, 2008 at 04:10pm by Scott   •  No Comments »

I don’t even have a lead-in for this. Greg White just legally changed his name to Stylez G. White. Check your calendar. It’s not even April 1.

“You can always remember Stylez White,” White said. “Greg White, nobody knows Greg White.”

See, Chad Johnson can get away with loony shit like that because he’s Chad Johnson. He’s been calling himself Ocho Cinco for so long, when he finally decided to make it legal, everyone basically shrugged and said, “Oh, that Chad!” No one outside of Tampa and maybe a couple holdovers from the essentially-defunct Arena League knows or cares who Greg is. And changing his name isn’t going to make them remember. You know what would make them remember? Leading the NFL in sacks, maybe? Through 14 games, White has 3.5 sacks. He should have changed his last name to “Herpes” so they would print it on his jersey. Then no offensive lineman would want to touch him.

But in the spirit of Greg’s enthusiasm for jackassery, let’s see if we can’t find some more appropriate names for other Bucs players.

Brian Griese = Stone Feet
Jerramy Stevens = Ben Dover (sorry, too easy)
Joey Galloway = Tiger White or Jerry Atric
Jeff Garcia = Hugh G. Rection
Dexter Jackson = Neil Down

That’s all I can come up with in the two minutes I gave myself to waste on it. Leave your own in the comments and make me laugh this loss away. You don’t have to limit to Bucs — any NFL player will do.