Buccaneer Quarterbacks Get No Respect

June 02, 2009 at 10:35am by Scott   •  3 Comments »

God I hate doing posts about Pat Yasinskas, mostly because I hate typing his name. It makes me think simultaneously of Mr. Skin and a yak sak and it needs to be at least after lunch before I’m in the mood to combine those two images. But he took the time to rank the NFC South quarterbacks, so I’m going to take the time to retract my temporary endorsement of his opinion yesterday and now call him an assbag. Without his commentary, here are his top ten:

1. Drew Brees
2. Matt Ryan
3. Jake Delhomme
4. Josh McCown
5. Joey Harrington
6. Luke McCown
7. Mark Brunell
8. Chris Redman
9. Josh Freeman
10. Byron Leftwich

Shall we?

One and two, fine. You can’t really argue those. But even though Delhomme still has that baby face that John Fox just loves to pinch, Delhomme is actually 34 now and is about half a season away from being completely done. Yasinskas mentions the Arizona game like it was some kind of aberration, but his whole season was mediocre and then when his team needed him most, he pulls the biggest choke job since I paid that German hooker an extra $20. Five picks, two sacks, one fumble lost, 50% completions and a 39.1 QB rating. You can’t just gloss over it like it didn’t happen. Luke belongs at #3.

But Luke doesn’t even get the dignity of being mentioned with the starters. His brother Josh, who last took a meaningful snap in 2007, is #4. And Pat’s explanation is weak and useless, much like Delhomme’s arm.

By the way, he has 31 NFL starts. His brother has seven. Plus, if McCown has to play for the Panthers, his job will be to hand off to DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart.

Number one, we’re not talking about lifetime stats here. If Josh had played last year, that would be fair to bring up, but he didn’t. I don’t care about his previous starts because he’s been gathering rust ever since then. And “starts” doesn’t imply quality. Remember that one time when Josh started for the Cardinals and lit the place up and led his team to a meaningful victory? Of course you don’t. That’s just silly. Second, this isn’t a poll of who has the easiest job. These are the top quarterbacks in the NFC South, regardless of what team they’re on or their circumstances in 2009. Luke is the more athletic of the two and has been taking starter’s reps in the offseason. I can’t even believe Yasinskas is serious.

Next comes Harrington, who should also be ranked above Josh McCown. But let’s not go nuts.

Harrington, who was never as bad as the reputation he got in Detroit, wouldn’t be a bad alternative over the long haul. With New Orleans’ offensive talent around him, Harrington could even crack the top three in this division.

I agree with the first sentence; I thought Harrington got a raw deal in Detroit. But again, the question isn’t “Whose team will do best?” It’s who is the better quarterback? McCown’s arm is stronger than Harrington’s, plus he has better hair. Harrington has steadily improved over the years, but I think you can still count on the guy to shit himself at a clutch moment. Sorry, gotta go with Luke again.

The last four are just a combination of varying extremes of age and athleticism. I would probably prefer to run the single wing as opposed to using any of them, or perhaps take a nice, dignified forfeit. In conclusion, here are my (correct) rankings:

1. Brees
2. Ryan
3. L. McCown
4. Harrington
5. Delhomme
6. J. McCown
7. Redman
8. Leftwich
9. Freeman
10. Brunell

When training camps kick in and quarterbacks can be evaluated, these rankings will probably change. For example, I may want to move one of those water drinking bird toys ahead of Leftwich. They move at about the same speed. And Brunell may decide he prefers shuffleboard to football after he takes a few licks from a frustrated-he-is-getting-suspended Charles Grant in full pads. But for now, I think this more accurately reflects the talent in the NFC South. Discuss.