Oh Lighten Up (No Pun)

July 14, 2009 at 02:13pm by Scott

First, just watch this so we’re all on the same page. It’s Martellus Bennett in one of his MartyBTV episodes, this one titled “Fun Times Lol” but should actually be titled “Black Olympics”.

Bennett became a minor internet celebrity with some of his videos, which I always thought were just to amuse himself and kind of leaked into the memeosphere. Personally, I mostly remember him from Hard Knocks last year when he looked like he really wanted to beat the shit out of John Garrett. Not anymore. Now I remember him for this video, not because I’m deeply offended or anything, but because it’s the video that got me on Martellus Bennett’s side.

Jason Whitlock of the Kansas City Star is not amused and definitely not on Bennett’s side. He spends a paragraph telling us what a good sense of humor he has and then the rest of the article contradicting it. Whitlock sounds like he has two points he wants to make, which I’ll re-iterate here. I’ll also remind you that this is the dude who said that the refs stole the Bucs/Chiefs game from Kansas City lst year because of a single pass interference call. So let’s prepare for some good time hyperbole.

If Barack Obama made use of the N-word a death-penalty offense, commercial rap music would disappear and nearly every black comedian would have to rewrite their material. My point is I understand the economic impact of outlawing our (black) self-hate.

What I don’t understand is when and why it became OK for a black athlete to milk the same cow.

So the only people who have the freedom to express themselves publicly are comedians and musicians? Whitlock wants to diminish Bennett’s artistic contribution to the world (as silly and self-aggrandizing as it is) because it’s not his primary profession. STAY IN YOUR BOX, YOU DUMB JOCK!

I’m again reminded that we hold white people to a higher standard of behavior than we hold ourselves.

I say that because you know damn well if Jason Witten had recorded and televised the “Black Olympics,” CNN would’ve aborted coverage of Michael Jackson’s month-long death to perform a thorough analysis of Witten’s entire life.

Witten, a Pro Bowler, would likely be looking for another job.

Witten, of course, is white. And as a white person, we expect him to have enough common sense, decency and respect for his fellow man to concern himself with playing football rather than promoting a web TV show with silly racial stereotypes.

Whitlock seems like a smart guy, but this is just stupid. Of course Witten would be fucking crucified for doing the Black Olympics on his own. Not because he’s held to a higher standard, but because he’s WHITE — period. If Witten did the White Olympics, would anyone care outside of it just being completely out of character? Most people accept the fact that you can joke about your own kind. Jews can make Jew jokes, Asians can make Asian jokes… didn’t we all agree on this at some point? And almost everyone can make white jokes because… well, you know… between slavery and manifest destiny, we kind of have it coming. And that’s fine! Please, Martellus, do the White Olympics!

I said this during the Don Imus fiasco, and it’s worthy of repeating: In the history of mankind, no human being has ever received more respect than he’s given himself.

There’s a catchphrase worthy of a bumper sticker. And maybe it’s true, although I would bet there are some serious self-hating artists that are well-liked by others. But Whitlock missed the point completely by assuming that Bennett doesn’t respect himself by doing this video. I don’t think Bennett is making such a deep philosophical statement. It’s just two black dudes acting like fools in front of a camera, making fun of a stereotype. I don’t think he burst into tears after the camera went off.

So if Martellus Bennett gets to hold a fried-chicken Olympics and call us the N-word on YouTube without serious objection, so does everyone else.

Again, no. Just black people.

Oh, we might run the careless and stupid out of a job from time to time. We might even play a role in getting another half-black, raised-by-white-people man elected to the presidency.

Wait, what? Is Obama really not black enough for Whitlock? That’s a topic for another day, but wow.

People see you exactly as you see yourself.

Well, this isn’t true. Terrell Owens sees himself as a larger-than-life superman whereas most people see him as a douchebag locker room cancer. But even if the statement were true, wouldn’t that just work against Whitlock? Bennett obviously sees himself as a jokester and a funny guy. If everyone else did, too, wouldn’t that be just fine? And I think most people do see him that way — just not Whitlock.

Bennett was asked about the video and Whitlock’s article on Michael Irvin’s show yesterday. You can read part of the interview here. Here’s all you really need to know from Bennett, though.

I don’t really think it’s offensive. It depends on your sense of humor and how you look at things. We were just having fun and it was very funny for me and my brothers, when I look at it I just can’t stop laughing. If someone takes offense, I apologize. That wasn’t my intention. It was just us having fun.

And, of course, Mike Florio of PFT follows Whitlock around like an obedient puppy.

Bennett isn’t a comedian. He’s an athlete. And so he lacks the license and the skill to publicly poke fun at stereotypes.

So now I need Mike Florio to tell me who the skilled comedians are? Should we all just watch Seinfeld on a continuous loop, Mike? Would that be satisfactory? Oh, look! Kramer just barged into Jerry’s apartment unannounced again! Fucking hilarious! Hey, if anyone knows about racial sensitivity, it’s Kramer.

I swear I may actually buy a Martellus Bennett jersey just to show my support for someone who wants to have a little fun without having to worry about carrying the weight of an entire race on his shoulders while doing it.