Clayton’s Bank Statement

October 14, 2009 at 09:49am by Scott   •  1 Comment »

God, puns really are lazy comedy. I should be ashamed of myself.

Michael Clayton went on the radio yesterday to apologize to fans for dropping the ball constantly and also to clarify the statement he made after the game about the check being in the bank. And since you watched the game, you also deserve the apology. Here you go.

“I apologize for putting our fans, who love us, and have so much passion for the Bucs, obviously, it is the reason why people are getting upset. They have so much passion about us winning, and that is understandable.”

Does no one speak in complete sentences anymore?

“I just want the people to know what kind of player I am, and I’m doing everything in my power to try and get better, and help this team win. We’ll move on. We are going to make our corrections and evaluate ourselves every day.”

So, there you have it. Feel better? Raheem Morris obviously does because signing Yamon Figurs isn’t exactly what I would call a shot across the bow to Clayton. Now, pulling an 11th hour trade for Anquan Boldin… there’s a move with some ball hair. It’s not going to happen, of course. Hell, Boldin just turned 29, so I think he’s too old for this regime. But if Morris and Mark Dominik wanted to make a statement to Clayton, they’d be thinking big like that.

Here’s the explanation for the bank crack he made on Sunday.

“Obviously as a professional I have to a better job controlling my emotions, and what I say to make to sure that the things that I say can’t be taken in a negative way. I have to do a better job of that, and I apologize for anybody who took what I said out of context, because that was definitely not the case. I was not trying to remind anybody of the amount of money that I made, or that the check was in the bank. It was simply, there is nothing that I can do about it but get better. The deal is done. I’m here in Tampa, and that is over with. The main focus is the team.”

That’s pretty much what we thought he meant. Clayton has his faults, but he’s not so big a douche that he would brag about his paycheck after pissing away a game.

I’m not going to hunt for banner photos today. It’s raining and I’m tired and I have a lot of shit to do, so I’m going to use cheerleader bikini photos for all the entries today. They are from this year’s calendar, and I have to say I am quite disappointed. The ones I picked out for posting are good, but most of the rest of them are kind of blah. The swimsuits aren’t exciting, the poses are pretty boring, and the jerk factor is almost nil. This isn’t the girls’ fault — they’re just working with what they’re given. But as the location for the calendar shoot has gotten closer and closer to Tampa, the quality of the end product has gone down. A couple years ago, these chicks were soaking wet and topless on all fours. Now we have this:

Why the hell is the photographer so far away? Does Tramane have swine flu or something? And she’s just standing there. Just… standing there on some tiny little walls. And if you think that’s bad, get a load of this:

This is Marlana. You may not recognize her here because the shoot director (I know it was you, Sandy Charboneau) sought out the one piece of clothing on earth that could contain her huge rack. Remember last year’s shot?

Look how awesome that is. Wrapping that up in in some shapeless rag from which no cleavage can escape is like defacing a public treasure. Why not break into the National Archives and take a shit on the Constitution while you’re at it, Sandy? So, anyway, now you know why I won’t be posting all the swimsuit photos here this year. Most of them anger me. But the ones that don’t will headline today.

Hey, wasn’t this about Michael Clayton when I started off?