Josh Freeman

REAR ENTRIES: Literally

June 28, 2010 at 11:45am by Scott   •  8 Comments »

Rear Entry 11

FSU TO RETIRE BROOKS’S NUMBER: Florida State is set to retire Derrick Brooks‘s #10 jersey this season. They’ll do it in a ceremony at the home game against Clemson.

“I’m excited about it and I’m looking forward to it,’’ Brooks said Friday afternoon. “A lot of people did a lot of work to help me get these accomplishments.’’

I’ve always found it a little weird when a player gets his number retired after someone else has already worn it. I’m no FSU historian or anything, but I know Geno Hayes wore #10 recently. There were probably several others as well between 1994 and 2009. “No one else will wear this jersey but Derrick except the eight or nine other guy who already did.” I remember when Tennessee retired Peyton Manning‘s jersey in 2005. They had it all framed and everything and the only thing I could think of is how they were able to get Rick Clausen‘s stink off of it.

DOUG WILLIAMS IS A GM: The good news is that Doug Williams got a gig he’s always wanted: general manager. The bad news is that it’s for a UFL expansion team.

Williams, who guided the Redskins to victory in Super Bowl XXII and was named the game’s MVP, will be in charge of getting the team up and running, including signing players and coaches, and hiring other organization personnel.

So he’s pretty much in complete control. I’ll probably pay attention to this club when they start playing because it will be Williams’s own vision of how a team should look and run. Whether it succeeds or fails will be totally on his head, and it will be interesting to see if the Bucs made a good decision in letting him or or if they should have given him more responsibility. That’s assuming his new team even plays.

The UFL League board gave conditional approval for Norfolk, Virginia, to host a sixth team.

I wonder what the conditions are. That the owner comes up with the franchise fee? That they can find a place to play? That they don’t give the team a stupid fucking name like the Tuskers? That’s got to be it.

TANARD JACKSON KNOCKED UP A PORN STAR: I don’t know who the hell MediaTakeOut.com is or if they’re at all reliable, but I would imagine that for Tanard Jackson‘s name to get mentioned, there has to be some level to truth to it. It’s not like the paparazzi are sitting outside Jackson’s house waiting for him to get the mail or something.

MediaTakeOut.com learned that Tanard Jackson, the starting defensive back for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers has a new BABYS MOTHER – an adult film star named JEMINI.

But this story isn’t a SAD one. We’re told that Tanarad [Come on - ed.] has agreed to STEP UP and keep both Jemini and their child in his life.

Eeewwwwww. Jackson is going to fly across the field and and crash into player after player at an effective speed of 60 MPH several times per week for 16 weeks, putting his physical and mental health in danger every single time, and still that’s not a tenth as risky as banging a porn star without a condom. I would rather slather my cock with honey and fuck a fire ant pile than take that kind of chance.

Jackson is playing a cruel trick on me here because I’ve been begging one of these Buccaneers to hook up with a porn star or a centerfold so I would have some relevant clickys to work with (I have since severely relaxed this requirement.) But when I go searching for pictures of Jemini, almost every single usable one has a dick in it. And, sorry ladies, bloggers feel inadequate enough without posting photos of cocks so long that they have elbows. And the only other ones of her look like you’re driving into the Holland Tunnel, so I’m just going to pretend that I couldn’t find any and go with a classier clicky selection. Feel free to seek the pics out on your own, though. Fag.

8 Comments to “REAR ENTRIES: Literally”

Mark S

Mark S (June 28, 2010 at 12:13pm:

The important news is that we finally have a Buc that is associating with a Porn star. Not since, Jeff and Carmella Garcia have we had such fertile ground for exposure.

Slow Joe

Slow Joe (June 28, 2010 at 12:41pm:

And, sorry ladies, bloggers feel inadequate enough without posting photos of cocks so long that they have elbows. And the only other ones of her look like you’re driving into the Holland Tunnel, so I’m just going to pretend that I couldn’t find any and go with a classier clicky selection. Feel free to seek the pics out on your own, though. Fag.

Priceless.

Why can’t ESPN write like this?

Wordy Sanchez

Wordy Sanchez (June 28, 2010 at 01:25pm:

Hahaha. “Pornstar” is a bit generous here in this day and age. In this day and age its getting hard to find a chick who hasn’t spread it for one of these low-rent electronic jackshacks. If you’ve got two tits you can charge $19.95 a month to show them. If you’ve only got one… you can probably charge more.

Wordy Sanchez

Wordy Sanchez (June 28, 2010 at 01:26pm:

Man that vicodin has REALLY improved my ability to write, and repeating myself with redundancy over and over again… wow, that’s awesome too.

Slow Joe

Slow Joe (June 28, 2010 at 02:03pm:

@Wordy: addiction to vicodin can be addicting.

BaldBuc4055

BaldBuc4055 (June 28, 2010 at 02:58pm:

That porn star is probably cleaner than most strippers or hookers. A little more loose, but cleaner.

Wordy Sanchez

Wordy Sanchez (June 28, 2010 at 04:12pm:

I have no idea how people enjoy this stuff. Its the only thing that’s let me swallow without shitting myself in the process, but it makes you feel like total hell.

Meatmaster

Meatmaster (June 28, 2010 at 05:39pm:

Funny stuff man. Not the swallowing shitting stuff but the porn star stuff. The dicks with elbows thing was awesome! Love it.

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