Posts Tagged ‘hello officer’
February 18, 2013 at 11:52pm by Scott • 4 Comments »
Because falling from the first round in his draft because of his knee and then missing the first six games of last season because of his Achille’s wasn’t challenging enough, Da’Quan Bowers thought he’d make his NFL career a little more interesting by carrying a loaded gun into a New York airport.
Bowers had a loaded .40 caliber firearm in his carry-on bag as he was attempting to get on a US Airways flight to Raleigh, North Carolina.
The story is that Bowers forgot he had the gun in his bag and then, once he remembered it, told TSA workers and made them aware of the situation. Which is what he should have done in that situation. But what would have been better is not being so cavalier with his guns that he forgets he has one is his carry-on bag. My question is, where did he confess? Had he already passed through security and been cleared? Here’s how it’s worded in the original article:
He was about to board a US Airways flight to Raleigh, North Carolina.
That makes it sound like he was at the gate, right? So let’s all take a moment to thank a TSA worker for pulling 88-year old women aside in order to inspect their colostomy bags while not noticing a loaded handgun in a bag. And I’m not a fan of profiling, but if you hold up a headshot of the old lady and a headshot of Bowers and ask 100 people, “Who is more likely to hijack an airplane with a handgun?” I’ll say 101 will say Bowers because the guy asking the questions will say, “I know, right?” after every person gives the obvious answer.
Oh, and congratulations to Bowers for picking New York to pull this stunt right after they signed new gun laws into effect, one of which is a magazine limit of seven rounds. Bowers’s weapon was reported as a .40 caliber handgun. The Glock 22, a popular .40 caliber handgun, has a standard magazine capacity of 15 rounds. He should have flown out of Dallas where they issue guns to you like headphones and peanuts.
Mark Dominik had no comment about this situation, but DL line depth is pretty shitty, so I’m going to say this isn’t going to affect Bowers’s status on the team. Maybe there will be a fine or something, but certainly nothing more than a suspension. And that’s how it should be. He actually surrendered the gun when he figured it out, which is a whole lot different than trying to sneak it past everyone. It was dumb — really fucking dumb — but not malicious. And completely different than Plaxico Burress‘s thing where he shot himself in the leg while carrying a loaded handgun into a night club and, you know, SECURED IT IN THE WAISTBAND OF HIS SWEATPANTS. If Bowers gets the same two years in prison that Burress got, then the justice system in New York obviously isn’t the well-oiled machine I remember from The Warriors.
November 07, 2012 at 01:51am by Scott • 11 Comments »
Why can’t we have nice things?
Bucs safety Ahmad Black was cited by Tampa police last week for possession of a small amount of marijuana, according to a police report.
I would make a Gator joke here, but in light of the jackass from the Tennessee Pike house drinking booze with his asshole last month, let’s just call it a draw.
Black, 23, was not arrested but given a notice to appear for the alleged offense, which occurred Oct. 30. An arraignment is scheduled Dec. 3. Black could face penalties ranging from a fine to a suspension under the NFL’s personal conduct policy.
He will likely get disciplined by the league, although it’s unclear how long. Tanard Jackson was suspended for four games for his first offense, but that seems unlikely here. Jackson’s situation seemed severe from the beginning. But it really would be nice to have a member of the Buccaneer secondary that isn’t ON SOMETHING. Besides Ronde Barber, of course, who is perfect in every way and whose body actually neutralizes illegal drugs into sugar when it gets within five feet of him.
You’d think NFL players wouldn’t take banned shit at all since they can be tested at any time and risk all kinds of money by getting caught. But even if they simply can’t do without it, for the love of God, have someone else hold it for you. Just pay a guy to hold onto it and take responsibility for it if you get searched. This doesn’t seem that hard.
July 22, 2011 at 09:22am by Scott • 1 Comment »
Now, far be it from me to judge someone for getting arrested for sex crimes. They actually added a whole section of charges involving peanut butter into the law books just for me. But Nate Webster really fucked up here.
Webster, 33, was indicted June 10 on seven charges – sexual battery, gross sexual imposition and five counts of unlawful sex with a minor – but that indictment was sealed until Webster’s Thursday arrest.
“Gross sexual imposition” isn’t hanging around chicks begging for sex (which I’ve also done) which is what it sounds like. It’s basically manipulating someone into having sex with you by deception or coercion. In this case, Webster forced his 15-year old babysitter to fuck him and implied or said if she didn’t that bad shit was going to happen.
…Webster used guns to intimidate the girl into keeping quiet about their relationship. Sometimes when they had sex in Webster’s car, the girl told police, Webster also had a gun in clear sight.
Webster is accused of telling the girl if she revealed the sexual relationship he would kill her and her family, Deters said.
The maximum sentence, if he is convicted of all charges, is 36 years. And when word spreads that he’s in prison for sex crimes against a minor, he will spend a good portion of that time with someone else’s dick inside him somewhere or getting the shit kicked out of him. Does the new CBA cover torn assholes for former players?
June 01, 2011 at 09:19am by Scott • 1 Comment »
UPDATE: Warrick responded to my Twitter inquiry and said he was driving a Cayenne Porsche when he was pulled over. Obviously, no black man who isn’t selling guns or drugs could afford a car this expensive (except, for some reason, Tyler Perry), so the police were 100% correct to pull him over and ask him all kinds of personal and intrusive questions. Walk the streets of Atlanta with confidence, people. Your safety from dark windows and dark people is assured.
We knew players were going to get in trouble during this lockout. Without the rigid structure of football and OTAs, some guys just have too much time on their hands and they end up running afoul of the law. But you never expect it to be this bad.
Warrick Dunn, who played six seasons with the Falcons from 2002-2007, reported on Twitter that he was stopped outside Atlanta by police who told him his window tinting was too dark and that he fit the profile of a criminal. Dunn said he was not charged, but received a warning.
I just thank Jesus that the cops showed up before Dunn went completely nuts and turned his stereo up. Dunn is widely known for being a recidivist who is constantly thumbing his nose at the law with his… windows. I mean, who knows what could be happening in that car if the police can’t see inside it? He could be talking on a cell phone WHILE DRIVING.
Dunn took to Twitter to document the incident.
“Got pulled over today by police outside of atl and they stopped me because he said my window tint was too dark. During the stop he ask a lot of personal questions and said I had the characteristic of people transporting drugs and guns. So he searched my car and he me a warning for my tint. I felt violated and I’ve had my car since 08 and never got pulled over for tint. That ruined my morning but not my spirit. I was Taken back because I think the reasoning was bad and they are trying to fill end of the month quotas. Also its a holiday weekend. Go figure. The funny thing is you can see inside because my tint is not dark.”
“Had the characteristic of people transporting drugs and guns” = Black dude driving a nice car. Well, at least it all makes sense. No one in Atlanta has any reason to know who Warrick Dunn is, and it’s not like he has a reputation for being a model citizen or a community leader or a philanthropist or anything.
It was about 25 years ago that NWA started bitching about this kind of thing publicly. Shit doesn’t change much, does it? “Searchin’ my car, looking for the product.”
April 25, 2011 at 10:33am by Scott • 2 Comments »
BUCS SERIOUS ABOUT CHARACTER: According to an upcoming draft pick who had a meeting with the team, the Bucs have been more focused on character than any other team in the league. For players, anyhow.
There is no foolproof method, but after meeting with the Bucs, prospects know character is being stressed. According to one prospect who recently visited One Buc Place, the team discussed character more extensively than other clubs. Team officials quizzed him about his past, his family and, in particular, his habits.
Habits? Like smoking and drinking or like picking up hitchhiking Cuban transients and implying that you’ll throw them off a bridge if they don’t dress like clowns and sing “Mademoiselle from Armentières” for your amusement? Because some things just shouldn’t matter to an employer. If the Bucs don’t stop being so picky, they’re not going to have anyone left to draft.
FENNELLY IS BACK: I bitch about him, but I have to admit that I miss him when he’s gone. It’s like I have some deep need to say the words, “Holy shit, that’s awful!” a certain number of times per month and no one can make me do it like Martin. It’s the same reason I always look forward to new Black Eyed Peas albums. In his latest sharticle, Fennelly covers the draft, Aqib Talib and the lockout with his standard contempt for humor and intelligence.
Sometime late Thursday, the Bucs will probably use the 20th pick of the 2011 NFL draft to find a pass rusher, one from London, if possible.
Because… the Bucs are playing in London again? And so they must like London a lot? Still trying to figure out why this is funny.
It’s a different kind of offseason, and we’re not even talking about what we can only hope is the Bucs Last Annual Drinking and Driving Festival.
Do two people make a festival? Because this offseason it’s just been Shelton Quarles and Jay Kaiser. Chris Mosley was last September.
The one thing that hasn’t changed is that Todd McShay and Mel Kiper Jr. continue to battle for world supremacy.
And don’t forget their special “Easter” mock draft. Sneak preview: Judas sliding down board, “character issues.”
Yep, you can never go wrong with a Christianity joke. On Easter. And I’m just a third of the way down the page with this crap. This one isn’t so much infuriating as it is exasperating, but either way it filled that need of mine to point and gawk, and I have to thank him for it.
MCCANTS ARRESTED AGAIN: This is becoming an annual story, but Keith McCants was arrested. Again. For drugs. Again.
Former Tampa Bay Buccaneers linebacker Alvin Keith McCants is in jail after being arrested on a cocaine possession charge.
Pinellas County Jail records show the 43-year-old McCants was also booked Saturday afternoon on a charge of resisting an officer. Bond was set at $4,000.
McCants is also being held on a warrant from Mobile, Ala., for failure to appear on a controlled substance charge.
Man, that dude has got a lot of mugshots. Like, dozens. Well, I won’t kick the guys while he’s down, which seems to be always, so I’ll just use a picture from his good old days back when he had hope in his eyes and functioning sinuses and Sam Wyche roamed the sidelines with impunity.
March 30, 2011 at 02:04pm by Scott • 4 Comments »
It happened earlier than expected, but Aqib Talib surrendered himself to police in Texas today, spent a couple hours getting fingerprinted and posing for mugshots, and then was released on $25,000 bond. He’s probably not in a good mood after all that, so my recommendation is for everyone to just clear out the city of Garland and stay with relatives somewhere else for a few days. And if you happen to run into Talib, for the love of God don’t look him in the eye. Slowly back away with your head down, pissing yourself in the process as a sign of submission. If he charges you anyway, play dead.
January 31, 2011 at 12:24pm by Scott • No Comments »
So I guess Gerald McCoy is in California now, rehabbing and training for 2011. But driving around Los Angeles isn’t the free-for-all video game that Tampa driving is, so McCoy was surprised when he was pulled over and given a ticket.
Apparently driving and talking on the phone is illegal in Cali bc I just got a ticket for it!! Not even a warning. I have a Florida license.
Oh, talking on a cell phone while driving is illegal, but getting blown by a struggling actress who thinks you’re a movie producer as part of the audition process while driving is perfectly fine? Yes, yes it is. And this is why I take a vacation to California every year and leave a clapboard laying around in my car.
December 13, 2010 at 04:55pm by Scott • 2 Comments »
Just to let everyone know, I have some stuff going on over the next couple days that is going to make getting entries up here in a timely manner tough. I’ll post when I can, but tomorrow is probably going to be tough. If you can’t contain your opinions until a proper entry is posted, I recommend using the forum. Pretty much anything goes there.
One thing I haven’t covered yet is Geno Hayes‘s arrest this morning for disorderly conduct and trespassing in a Tampa bar. Getting arrested for trespassing in a place that’s open to the public is pretty impressive.
Police used a Taser on Hayes after he became aggressive with police during an incident that started with another man, according to police. Hayes overheard a security guard wouldn’t let his friend into the lounge for being underdressed. Police said Hayes pushed a police officer out of the way to stand between her and two disruptive men.
There’s more to the story, but essentially Hayes was escorted out of the bar, told not to return, and he did anyway. The story says the Taser was ineffective because of Hayes’s clothing, but I like to think that it’s because the Buccaneers are made up of superhuman robot gladiators. Superhuman robot gladiators who don’t know when to just go to another bar, apparently. Is there something so special about the Blue Martini on Westshore that is worth getting shot with 50,000 volts? Are the waitresses all topless Asians strippers with implants and no grasp of the English language? Because then you might be able to persuade me.
For his part, Raheem Morris said that Hayes won’t be suspended for this arrest.
Morris said the Bucs will handle Hayes’ discipline internally and there are no plans to suspend the linebacker.
“Geno will be here Sunday,” Morris said. “We’ll handle our discipline in house like we always do.”
Well, it’s not always handled in-house. Aqib Talib was suspended by the league for a game for that shit with the cab driver. It was a violation of the NFL’s personal conduct policy and the league has that authority. It may end up not being Morris’s decision whether or not Hayes is suspended, and the NFL doesn’t always wait until the legal system has run its course. In fact, they almost never do.
Honestly, it sounds like they’re letting Hayes off light. It says he pushed a cop out of the way, and once you lay your hands on a cop you can pretty much assume that you’re getting a baton up the ass, minimum. They’re not even charging him with assault on a police officer, and trespassing and disorderly conduct are toward the bottom of the “Things the NFL will jump your ass for” spectrum, so Hayes would be well-advised to just apologize to the world, take his punishment and build a bar in his house and then he can enforce whatever dress code he wants. But he should steal that Asian stripper idea. And invite all Bucstats readers for the grand opening.
November 19, 2010 at 08:59am by Scott • 24 Comments »
Mike Williams — yes, the one you care about — has been arrested for DUI.
According to the available information, Williams’ breath testing registered a blood-alcohol concentration of 0.065 and 0.061 percent.
Wait, isn’t .08 the legal limit? Isn’t that why it’s called a “legal limit”? I’m at a loss for what he actually did wrong here.
[This is late-breaking news, so as I was typing this entry, Stephen Holder posted some more information here.]
Williams was driving a black Cadillac 57 mph in a 45 mph zone and weaving between lanes, said Larry McKinnon, Hillsborough County Sheriff’s spokesman.
I’d love to see the actual footage from the cop car of Williams weaving. I have a feeling “weaving” is code for “black dude out late at night in an expensive car”.
Two tests found his blood-alcohol level at .065 and .061, records show, below the limit of .08 set by state law.
But Williams failed a field sobriety test, McKinnon said.
So Williams couldn’t simultaneously stand on one leg, touch his nose with his head bent back and recite the alphabet backwards. I understand the need for keeping the streets safe and I support arresting people for drunk driving (it’s a very brave position I’m taking, I know), but this seems petty. Did anyone check to see if this cop is a 49ers fan?
A urine test was conducted and results are pending, he said. A urine test is done if a deputy suspects a driver is impaired by a substance other than alcohol, McKinnon said.
Oh shit. Please tell me he’s not this stupid. Williams is on the same team as a dude who has been indefinitely suspended for drugs. If I were the Bucs, I would have Tanard Jackson posters on every wall at One Buc as a reminder of what can happen when you take drugs while employed by an NFL team. But I’m jumping the gun here. He may not have taken any drugs. Or he could be like David Boston way back when he fell asleep at a traffic light because he was on roofies or something that didn’t show up right away. Please, let this be a case of an overzealous cop.
Williams is out of jail now and the team will leave for San Francisco today, but there has been no comment so far as to whether Williams will travel. If Williams doesn’t play, look for Micheal Spurlock to get a lot more action.
UPDATE: According to Adam Schefter, Williams will travel to San Francisco. Schefter is also saying that Williams volunteered to take the urine test in order to prove his innocence. He seems pretty confident about it, and that makes me feel a shitload better about the situation. I should probably stop basing my mood on the lives of athletes I don’t know.
October 25, 2010 at 02:41pm by Scott • 17 Comments »
JERRAMY STEVENS ARRESTED: Jerramy Stevens was arrested Saturday night with possession of marijuana (w/intent to sell), plain old possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. When I first read the headline that he had been caught with enough pot to get charged for intent to sell, I assumed he had a trunk full of tightly-packed bricks of weed and was pissed that a guy who make the money he makes would jeopardize his football career by taking on the slightly-less risky and far more profitable job of drug dealer. Then I actually read the whole story.
A Tampa police officer stopped Stevens’ 2006 Ford pickup shortly after 7 p.m. at North Westshore Boulevard and West Cypress Street after hearing loud music coming from the truck, according to a Tampa Police Department news release. After smelling marijuana coming from inside, the officer searched the truck and found 38 grams of marijuana.
A whopping 38 grams. That’s about an ounce and a half. I don’t know how much it takes to make a joint (I’m so cool!), but I know that an ounce and a half of just about anything isn’t enough to sell. And did the cops really pull him over for playing loud music? Who was the cop, Mr. Wilson from Dennis the Menace? As a citizen, I think Stevens is kind of getting shafted. But as a Tampa Bay Buccaneer, fuck him. I’ve defended Stevens for years because I believe in redemption stories, but you have to, you know, keep it up. You don’t get to fuck up again every couple years. Plus, as someone who has had trouble before, you just know he was in line for a drug test sooner or later. I think they’ve pretty much figured out how to tell if you’ve been smoking pot. So he either didn’t care about how his suspension would affect the team or he was too dumb to think he’d get caught. Either way, I’m done.
JERRAMY STEVENS RELEASED: It’s the equivalent of a “bang-bang” play for personnel men. Jerramy Stevens was arrested Saturday night before game day and released Monday morning. The only way it would have been done faster is if Mark Dominik had personally bailed him out of jail and written “You are cut” in the memo line of the check. Ryan Purvis was promoted from the practice squad to take his place.
ONE LAST STEVENS ANGLE: Mike Florio brings up the possibility that Stevens was bringing that much pot with him so he could smoke it with some other players at the team hotel.
So with Bucs tight end Jerramy Stevens arrested at 7:12 p.m. ET the night before a home game with enough marijuana in his possession to result in an alleged presumption that he intended to sell it, we see only two possible interpretations of the facts.
First, Stevens was trying to move the marijuana in the hopes of earning some extra money before reporting to the team hotel for the night (which, frankly, given his history wouldn’t be the dumbest thing he ever has done).
Second, Stevens planned to take the marijuana to the team hotel, to be smoked or distributed there.
We’re not reporting anything on this. We’re just identifying the two possibilities based on the known facts.
Florio has less imagination than that guy who draws stick figure caricatures at the boardwalk. Stevens couldn’t just be really high most of the time and forgets to take his stash out of the car? Maybe that’s where he keeps it. Or maybe he was just coming back from buying it. Florio loves setting up false dichotomies to make it seem like he knows all the possibilities. But that’s the thing about the word “possibilities”. Lots of things are possible. Hell, Stevens’s situation could have been a version of this:
MICHAEL CLAYTON FINDS WORK: Since Michael Clayton had been given a huge bonus check last season, he had the luxury of being able to wait around for just the right offer to come along. And, sure enough, it finally happened. After nearly two months of waiting, Clayton signed with his dream team, the Omaha Nighthawks of the UFL.
There, Clayton will re-join former Bucs quarterback Jeff Garcia and coach Jeff Jagodzinski, who had a brief stint as Tampa Bay’s offensive coordinator.
Garcia, Clayton and Jagz? Aren’t there rules against a UFL team assembling such an elite group of players? Kind of like antitrust law or something? If not, look out UFL. Garcia came this close to beating the Joes in a Pros vs Joes match (but didn’t — the Joes actually won), Clayton can block the hell out of a defensive back, and the entire Jagz playbook fits on one of those forearm cheat sheets. Look out, Omaha — your steaks won’t be the only things that sizzle.
“I like where we are,” Morris said. “We’re 4-2. We’re the best team in the NFC. Yeah, I said it. We’re excited.”
Okay, forget that the Bucs just lost bad to the Saints last week. And forget that the Giants and the Seahawks are also 5-2. And forget that exactly half of the NFC has four wins right now, including the Bucs. I’m just happy Raheem is in a position to be able to make such a claim and that it even has a molecule of credibility. If the Bucs were 1-5 and he was saying that his team was the best 1-5 team in the league, we’d all tear him apart. But when you’re 4-2, you can get away with stuff like this.
“We easily went out there and put together one of the worst first halves of my tenure. If you want to add the Saints game, you could say six quarters. But this team plays 60 minutes. There’s no doubt about that.”
Someone tell Raheem that the Saints game also clocked in at 60 minutes. Come on, you can’t lob me these softballs and expect me not to swing.