Buc Shots - The TBO Season
In May 2006, TBO.com held an open audition for a Buccaneers blogger who would contribute to their ever-growing stable of sports blogs. The writing was supposed to be clean, but with attitude and unafraid of being critical. A couple months passed (by which time I had assumed I had not been accepted) and I finally got a call in July asking if I wanted to join the team. I wrote by first entry on July 24, 2006 while the Bucs were in training camp. My last published entry came on April 1, 2007, after the 2007 combine and the major free agency period. I wrote an additional entry a couple days later, and it was the one that got me fired. Here's the story about all that.
Anyway, since that unfortunate bit of unpleasantness, TBO.com has seen fit to remove every trace that I ever used to write for them, going so far as to remove their archives of my material. This has left more than one reader puzzled when one of my articles comes up on a Google search only to be greeted with an error page, which looks bad for both of us. So, with all that in mind, I present to you the content from those eight months -- 67,275 words. The Buccaneers had their worst season since Richard Williamson was head coach, so you can see the tone of the entries gradually change from unbridaled optimism ("Why Your Favorite Team Will Lose To The Buccaneers") to unending torment ("Will This Season Never End?") The 0-4 start, Chris Simms's ruptured spleen, the rise and fall of Bruce Gradkowski, the Booger trade, the Bucs' first Thanksgiving game and the misery of looking forward to the draft in October are all covered. I cross-posted a couple of these on Bucstats at the time, but the vast majority of them only appeared on TBO.com. I removed all formatting since it was all generated by their system and customized for their site. The links should still work and you can see how many comments there were up to the point where the entries were removed, although I couldn't retrieve the content of the comments. Enjoy.
Part 1 of a 13 part series that I somehow have to get out before the season begins.
September 10, 2006: Baltimore Ravens (home)
Head Coach: Brian Billick
Projected QB: Steve McNair
Team Motto: Now with fewer stabbings! Our defense is still pretty good!
Historical Record: 2-0 (from Bucstats.com)
Despite the current facade of a quarterback controversy in Baltimore, it should be obvious that Steve McNair will get the nod in the season opener over the improving but inconsistent Kyle Boller, who has lowered the Ravens’ W/L record every year since he was drafted in the first round (!) a few years ago. And when he does start, McNair will do what he always does: get injured. No matter… he’s tough. How tough? You haven’t heard of the legend of Steve McNair? Well, during one game, McNair broke both legs after being hit late and out-of-bounds (because that’s the only way to bring him down.) Unlike the weak-willed players who would seek “medical attention” in such a case (pussies), McNair dragged himself over to the nearest goalpost, knocked it over with a single headbutt, broke the uprights off and used them as splints. He then used the crossbar to beat the hell out of the defender who hit him. All this without incurring a delay-of-game penalty. Simeon Rice himself named Steve McNair as the hardest quarterback in the NFL to sack (actually, that part is true.) The only thing Chuck Norris fears is Steve McNair.
Had enough of how tough Steve McNair is yet? Yeah, me too.
Outside of him, though, the Baltimore offense doesn’t have much going for it. Oh, sure, one could look at “facts” and “statistics” and argue that in just about every measurable category, Baltimore’s offense was practically identical to Tampa Bay’s last season, but there are a few important differences:
1) The Bucs’ star running back is not still getting used to life “on the outside”.
2) The QB-of-the-future the Bucs drafted in 2003 is not in the process of being replaced.
3) Ravens receivers can’t even win in fake games. Note who the winner was.
Despite the obvious edge the Bucs have offensively over the Ravens, Ed Reed and Chris McAlister are elite players who will make life difficult for Simms in the passing game. This will be important if the Baltimore defensive line gets a decent push to the quarterback. But they won’t. Haloti Ngata, the rookie defensive tackle the Ravens drafted in the first round, missed key time at mini-camps and as a result, will still be behind the curve for the first regular season game. This will give Simms the time he needs to make his reads and throw the ball (OVER the defensive line this time, Chris.)
Plus, no Buccaneers have recently been shanked in a bowling alley. So, that could help, too.
Since Art Modell packed up his toys in Cleveland and moved his team to Baltimore in 1996, the Bucs have beaten the Ravens by a combined score of 47-10, most recently by a shutout in 2002. This trend will continue in September as the Bucs walk over the constantly-rebuilding (but always amusing) Ravens in the Bucs’ first season opener at home in four years.
(4) CommentsAfter about a week of “will they” or “won’t they” regarding the Bucs re-signing Ronde Barber, it looks like some real progress has been made. Says Barber:
“We’re closer to getting a deal done than people realize [...] We’ve made some concessions and they’ve made some concessions, so I feel comfortable in saying that it’ll get done and that I won’t be out there [on the free agent] market in 2007.”
Barber is still at the top of his game and it would be a mistake to let him go at this stage in his career. Unless the Bucs can replace him with someone who at least has the potential to be better, they should do what they can to keep him. This year’s fourth round pick Alan Zemaitis may be that guy, but this isn’t the camp to find out. Juran Bolden? Blue Adams? Torrie Cox? They might be able to fill in for Ronde for a play or two while he stretches out his hamstring on the sideline, but any more than that and they’ll be watching receivers go by in the same way Ricky Williams is watching his career… powerless to do anything about it.
Additionally, Bucs fans are getting somewhat protective of their Super Bowl XXXVII veterans, especially with guys like Ronde who were so important to that season. After the unceremonious dismissals of fan favorites like John Lynch, Warren Sapp and Joe Jurevicius, Bruce Allen and the Glazers are getting a reputation for being somewhat disloyal and cold when it comes to taking care of players that took care of them. The cold part isn’t necessarily a bad thing… can’t let all those squishy, girly feelings get in the way of business. But being thought of around the league as disloyal will keep the high-character free agents from signing with the Bucs, and then they’ll be left with a bunch of jackasses who are represented by Drew Rosenhaus.
None of this is to say that the Glazers should dip into their retirement fund for Ronde. The Bucs will have some checks to write next year, the biggest one to Chris Simms to keep him in pewter for another five or six seasons. And breaking the bank on a guy who will only be at his peak for another year or two doesn’t make financial sense no matter how great he is. A contract that pays Ronde well for the next two years then forces everyone to make a decision after that would work for all involved. Here’s to hoping it can get done.
(0) CommentsAtlanta Falcons: September 17 (away) and December 10 (home)
Head Coach: Jim Mora (not the respectable one… the obnoxious one.)
Projected QB: Michael Vick
Team Motto: “Seriously, enough with the Ron Mexico jokes. They’re not even that funn… stop laughing!!”
Historical Record: 15-10 (from Bucstats.com)
Both of last year’s Bucs/Falcons games were selected as NFL Network Games of the Week. Both were thrilling, going down to the wire, but the second one hit Michael Vick where it hurts. Vick admitted he phoned it in against the Panthers in their season finale (as opposed to the way Jim Mora literally phoned it in on the sidelines against the Bucs,) and Carolina has the Bucs to thank. From a USA Today article:
The last game he played has stuck like Cling Wrap because, for the first time, he said, he gave less than a full effort in the finale against the Carolina Panthers. In the 44-11 blowout loss, he was sacked three times and intercepted once.
That was a week after a 27-24 loss at the Tampa Bay Buccaneers scratched Atlanta from the playoffs. “I admit I could have had a better impact on that last game,” he says. “The Tampa Bay game took so much out of me. Reality hit that we weren’t going to the playoffs. Keep in mind, we had just gone to the NFC Championship Game. ... So I didn’t go out and give it my all, which was disrespectful to my teammates, disrespectful to my coaches, myself and my family. I’ll never do that again.”
“I just played to play, going through the motions. But I’ve matured. I’m bigger than that now.”
How much maturing a 26-year old man can do in the span of six months remains to be seen. But for all the boasting we heard last year of how comfortable Vick was in Mora’s offense and how he was going to finally be that multi-dimensional threat that he has been advertised as since he was drafted, Vick got worse in just about ever measurable category. Completion percentage (56.4% to 55.3%), yards per attempt (7.21 to 6.23), interceptions (12 to 13), passer rating (78.1 to 73.1) and even rushing yards (902 to 597) all got worse from 2004 to 2005. The Falcons didn’t add a single receiver (a sixth round draft pick doesn’t count) to bail Vick out, and the world is wise to Alge Crumpler by now. For this, and for winning three fewer games in 2005 than 2004, Jim Mora received a three year contract extension. This was not the widely-applauded move you might think. Trust me, I live in Atlanta. Folks around here are starting to get nostalgic for Jerry Glanville.
To be fair, the Falcons did improve on the defensive side of the ball, trading the 15th overall pick to the Jets for John Abraham and a couple lower picks that won’t amount to much. And Lawyer Milloy, though not a sack or interception threat, made over 100 tackles for the Bills last year and will shore up an Atlanta secondary that DeAngelo Hall was carrying all last season. Those additions, along with holdovers Pat Kearney, Rod Coleman and Keith Brooking will make things tough on Chris Simms, who will have to take his shots down the field carefully but quickly. These games call for old-fashioned “Buc ball” (I promise not to use that phrase more than once a month): Run the ball (Cadillac had 266 yards against the Falcons last year,) keep the game close, then wait for Vick to throw an interception right into Derrick Brooks‘s hands. It didn’t happen last season and he’s due. Oh yes, he’s definitely due.
Look for the same results as last season: tight, exciting games with the Bucs coming out on top both times.
(1) CommentsTraining camp is simultaneously one of the most exciting and most infuriating periods of the perpetual NFL season. Exciting because after an off-season where the news is always anti-climactic (does anybody really care where Ty Law finally signed?) and NFL Europe is playing guys who couldn’t qualify for any SEC team’s mascot job, training camp means the wait is nearly over. The crucible of camp turns boys into men, men into players, and players into dehydrated players in need of an IV. Every team is 0-0 and even though your team didn’t win the Super Bowl last season, this year… there’s hope. Unless you’re a Browns fan.
But you have to take the good with the bad, or in this case, the good with the absurd. And the buzz that each fan privately builds up with the hopes of a successful season is quickly harshed by the stale stigma of rookie holdouts. Since Bruce Allen is confident he’ll get all the Bucs rookies signed before the first practice tomorrow, I’ll highlight the most celebrated player to be drafted since a certain Mr. Vick (not the one with the firearm, drug, drinking, underage girl and stomping-on-defensive-ends problems… the other one) graced us with his presence in 2001; the bright, new hope of a post-Katrina New Orleans: Reggie Bush. From the Times-Picayune:
As zero hour approaches for the Saints to report to training camp this evening in Jackson, Miss., it appears likely that first-round draft pick Reggie Bush will not reach a contract agreement with the team and will begin what could become a lengthy holdout.
Bush is just the most visible example. As of right now, only five first round picks have signed contracts with their teams. What’s the hold up? For the most part, it’s agents (read: scumbags) getting all dramatic and whiny about how teams aren’t willing to pay what their player is worth. Tens of millions of dollars in guarantees, a spot on the starting line-up, the backing of a union that is constantly pushing for more and more benefits all for a job where they work six months out of the year… not enough. They’ve never played an NFL down, they’ve never studied an NFL playbook and they’ll be forced to sing their college fight song while carrying pads and luggage for the veterans, but it’s still not enough. Screw it, then. Don’t sign. I’ve stopped caring.
For the kind of money first round picks are demanding from their teams, they’d better damn well contribute immediately. Opening day. Let’s take a look back at the 2005 draft and consider which players were worth anywhere near what they were paid for last season. Cadillac Williams, Shawn Merriman, Heath Miller, Roddy White and possibly Logan Mankins. Top pick Alex Smith threw 11 interceptions before he finally tossed one TD in a garbage game at the end of the year, Pacman Jones couldn’t keep himself out of police lineups, Mike Williams was fined more than he earned, countless others never saw the field.... the list goes on of big-expectation rookies who drove ticket prices up but provided nothing but disappointment in return. How many veteran players could those teams have picked up for just the signing bonus of their first round pick? How many Chris Hovans, Josh Bidwells or Thomas Joneses, guys that made a difference in the same year they were signed for a reasonable price, could be had in exchange for one player’s salary? I’m done caring about first year players who don’t think enough of their team to go to training camp and learn their job. Give me a hungry vet over a egomaniacal rookie anyday.
This sense of entitlement is fostered all through the player’s high school and college career. “Look how fast you can run, look how hard you can hit, you’re gonna be a star, baby!” And by the time they get to the pros and are selected in the first round, they expect to be worshipped despite just entering the workforce having proven nothing. These mega-checks warp their entire sense of reality and make them unable to relate to the general public. Normal people start off at the bottom and work their way up. They finally peak, make their money, then are replaced by a machine or a college kid, whichever is cheaper. That’s how society works, and that’s how the NFL should work.
This isn’t jealousy. Ok, maybe some of it is jealousy. But most of it is bitterness. Bitterness over footing the bill to pay for brats. The whole rookie pool needs to be scaled down significantly, forcing first-year players to earn their big payday. Some will rise to the occasion, some will fall on their face. But it’s not right to stick the fans with the cost of players who never get off the ground. For every Julius Peppers there is a Joey Harrington, for every Carson Palmer there is a Charles Rogers. Make the rookies prove to us which one they are before you add too many zeroes to that check.
Carolina Panthers: September 24 (home) and November 13 (away)
Head Coach: John Fox
Projected QB: Jake Delhomme
Team Motto: “Come for the game, but stay for our alcoholic, lesbian cheerleaders!”
Historical Record: 5-6 (from Bucstats.com)
There’s a guy at my work named Joey. I bumped into him a few weeks ago and it took him no time at all to start bragging to me about his new 50 inch LCD HDTV that he got for a steal. “It’s got EVERYTING!” (his speech impediment makes him pronounce “th” as “t” or “d”.) He insisted that I come over to his house to witness what television should be like. “Dis weekend,” he said. “It’ll blow your freakin’ mind.”
So, that weekend I went by his house to see this monstrosity. Oh, it was big. The colors were brighter and the picture sharper than anything I’d seen in real life. And the thing was LOUD!! He had the volume on eight and I had to ask him to repeat himself several times (through no fault of his impediment.) For your reference, the volume has a maximum setting of fifty. So, we grabbed some snacks and plopped down on his couch to spend the next three hours flipping through channel after channel of bright, crisp, loud… crap. Just when I thought we had hit the nadir of terrible TV by watching Jerry Rice in a dance competition, we flipped the channel on his ten-pound remote to see contestants snorting earthworms for the chance to win a date with the fake prince of a ficticious island. From Judge Judy to anything on Fox News, it was hour after hour, channel after channel of pointless, uninspired tripe.
The Carolina Panthers are that television. Ever since Keyshawn Johnson signed with the Panthers this spring, they’re all anyone in the NFL is talking about. “How can anyone stop Steve Smith AND Keyshawn Johnson?” they ask. “Smith deep and Keyshawn across the middle… how can you cover them both?” You’d think that by signing Keyshawn, the Panthers enacted some obscure NFL rule that allows them to have 13 offensive men on the field at once. Like Joey’s TV, the Panthers are now bigger, more colorful and definitely LOUDER than they were before. But better? No. They look great on paper, and even in the showroom. But once you’ve actually seen them in action, they are thoroughly disappointing. Turns out, all that glitz does not make for a better product.
Jake Delhomme (the poor man’s Bubby Brister) has the same stable of receivers he had last year with the exception of Johnson. Steve Smith counted for 103 catches and 1,563 yards, doing wonders for the egos of the other receivers Richard Williamson now has to coax out of buckets of Ben & Jerry’s (left behind by Todd Sauerbrun.) Delhomme trusted those other guys so much that he made running back DeShaun Foster his #2 receiver. Ronde Barber and Brian Kelly have plenty of experience handling Smith and Johnson, so while they’ll get their catches, don’t look for any big plays against the Tampa secondary.
Defensively, the Panthers are crippled with the losses of linebackers Will Witherspoon and Brandon Short. Kris Jenkins, who has now earned the title “injury prone” after missing 27 games in the last two years, will be too rusty to be effective at the DT position in the first game, and will miss the second game after breaking a hip or something. Those two factors will make for big running days for Cadillac Williams against Carolina, especially up the middle. I would also look for Michael Pittman to be especially effective in the passing game through play-actions and screens.
The Panthers had a nice run against the Bucs from 2003-2004, winning all four games. Coincidently, this is the same period of time when Dr. James Shortt was injecting many Panthers players with horse DNA. For the games after Shortt got busted, the Panthers are 1-1 against the Bucs. And the Bucs won the most recent one… in Carolina. I’m sure there’s absolutely no correlation (does this thing have a sarcasm filter?), but it’s not a bad sign of things to come in 2006.
So, you can keep extra color and deafening noise. I want substance. And when it comes to that, the Bucs have it all over the Panthers this season.
(1) CommentsEvery prediction I read for the 2006 Bucs season all say they liked what the team did in the offseason, thought they made some good draft picks, and said the Bucs would do pretty well this season… if their schedule wasn’t so tough. “Both Super Bowl teams!” “Early bye week!” “Three games in 11 days!” Look, if I wanted to hear about certain failure, I’d be paying more attention to Martin Gramatica‘s training camp.
First, their opponents. In 2006, the Bucs play seven games against playoff teams. In 2005 they played six, and the Bills just barely missed. No real difference there. Turns out the teams that were supposed to be scary and give the Bucs trouble last year: Minnesota, Green Bay, Buffalo, NY Jets, Atlanta… none of them did so well. Besides the absolute pasting against the Patriots (which we will never, ever discuss again) and the shoulda-been against the Jets, the Bucs won their games against playoff teams. A team’s success in the prior season is not a good measure for how good they’ll be now, so saying the Bucs have it tough because they play some of last year’s playoff teams isn’t meaningful. Just ask any of the remaining Super Bowl XXXVII vets about the 2003 season.
Next, the bye week. The Bucs have week four off; pretty early in the season, but not ridiculous. And after training camp and seven games including the preseason, believe me, you won’t find a single Buc complaining that their week off came too soon. You know who else had a week four bye? Pittsburgh did last year. New England’s bye in 2004 was in week three. It turned out pretty good for those guys.
Finally, the three games in 11 days. Please put this in perspective before you get all irate. Under normal circumstances, teams play three games in 15 days. The Bucs essentially lose four days over two and a half weeks, and that’s not counting the extra days they get before and after that stretch. Everyone complained that the Bucs didn’t have any national games last season. Well, here they are. The price you pay for games like these is a weird schedule. This is the Bucs’ first Thursday game in six years and only their third ever… I think they can handle it. The Lions have been playing Thanksgiving games for years and it’s doesn’t seem to be a prob-- ok, bad example. But the Cowboys have been doing it too and they managed to have some success despite the annual Thursday game.
Anyone in any job will, at times, be asked to put in extra hours and work against difficult deadlines. Professionals suck it up and deal with it because complaining doesn’t help. Trust me, I’ve tried. If bitching about it was successful in the least, I’d be crying like T.O. one year into a $50M contract that I wasn’t being treated fairly everytime an assignment crossed my desk. Don’t use the Bucs’ schedule as an excuse for them before the season even starts. Being the pros they are, they definitely won’t.
(0) CommentsNew Orleans Saints: October 08 (away) and November 05 (home)
Head Coach: Sean Payton
Projected QB: Drew Brees
Team Motto: “Really? I don’t smell anything.”
Historical Record: 11-17 (from Bucstats.com)
“Addition by subtraction” was the name of the game for the Saints this year as the two most influential members of the team, the head coach and the quarterback, were shown the door (which was still lying on a heap of uncleared debris.)
The respectable but ultimately ineffective Jim Haslett was always just on the verge of mediocrity, but never able to muster more than one playoff season. He is replaced by Sean Payton, the brains behind Quincy Carter‘s success.
Speaking of quarterbacks we’re all better off having forgotten, the back-passwards antics of Aaron Brooks are now the property of a team truly deserving of them: the Oakland Raiders. Yes, the quarterback who was replaced by Todd Bouman is now competing with Marques Tuiasosopo and Andrew Walter to see who gets to hold the good clipboard. Oh, to be a Raiders fan this year. The bad news for Bucs fans is that we can no longer count on Mr. Brooks and his constistently sub-60% completion rate. The Saints signed Drew Brees, who is coming off career highs in yards and completions, to be the starter. Brees is also coming off a severe shoulder injury that will come back to haunt him during the season. You wouldn’t know it from his camp, though. Brees is currently firing off 80 passes per day with as much velocity and accuracy as ever. It’s going to be up to Simeon Rice to get Brees, who is no threat to run anywhere, off his game. Rice will be up against second-year tackle Ben Archibald or a tight end. Who do you think is winning that contest?
Reggie Bush will not be a factor in these games. I’m guessing 40-50 yards max per game. The Bucs defense simply won’t allow an overhyped rookie to make fools of them.
The Saints didn’t do a whole lot in the offseason to make their 14th ranked defense any better. With Dwight Smith‘s release, Mike McKenzie is the only Saints defensive back with any credibility, and he’s coming off a poor year with only one pick, five passes defensed and 46 tackles in 15 games. Draft pick Roman Harper looks like he could be a very good pick for the Saints, but as a rookie he won’t be able to replace Smith. Look for Chris Simms to hook up with his deep threats Joey Galloway and/or David Boston as they get behind the secondary and take at least one or two bombs to the house. The Bucs will win these games in the air, putting up at least 21 points in each one.
(0) CommentsCome September 10th, Tim Rattay will be sitting at home, cell phone in hand, watching for any play that might land a starting quarterback on the next week’s injury list. There has been zero buzz about him in camp so far, most of the second-team accolades going to rookie Bruce Gradkowski. From TBO’s own Roy Cummings:
Rattay had at least one pass picked off during the morning workout and he delivered a couple of other very wobbly balls that receivers had to slow down and break stride to catch. The good news for Rattay is that there is plenty of time left to find a groove. The bad news is rookie Bruce Gradkowski is shining.
And another:
And Tim Rattay continues to struggle, throwing several wobbly passes today. HeÕs not looking sharp - certainly not as sharp as rookie QB Bruce Gradkowski, who continues to impress all onlookers.
Other reports elsewhere say the same things. Rattay isn’t displaying the arm strength to get the ball to his back in the flat, let alone down the field to an actual wide receiver. And no way is Gruden parting ways with Jay Fiedler this season. Fiedler is just what Gruden loves: a cheap veteran that he has past experience with and some gas still in the tank. So we have an opening day QB depth chart of Simms, Fiedler and Gradkowski, depending on how fully-healed Fielder is in September. The best Rattay can hope for is that Fiedler stays on the PUP list for a few weeks while he updates his resume.
(0) CommentsCincinnati Bengals: October 15 (home)
Head Coach: Marvin Lewis
Projected QB: Carson Palmer
Team Motto: “Assume the position.”
Historical Record: 5-3 (from Bucstats.com)
As my pious counterpart might say, God bless Paul Brown. He didn’t live long enough to see his team turn into the dungeon of the NFL. Sure they had some off years, but for the most part you could at least count on the Bengals contending, even picking up an occasional Super Bowl berth here and there. Then came the 90s, the inept head coaches and the cursed draft picks. And, almost as if by design, a once proud decent team transformed into a perpetual, so-sad-it’s-really-really-funny joke.
In 2003, respectibility returned to the Bengals in the form of Marvin Lewis, a top-shelf defensive coordinator that apparently wasn’t good enough for the Bucs a year prior. As one of his first official acts, Lewis chose Carson Palmer as the first overall pick of the 2003 draft, still the only first overall pick this century worthy of his draft status. In 2005, the Bengals made it back to the playoffs for the first time since Paula Abdul was known for singing and not just being a bitch. They lost in the first round after Palmer went down with a torn ACL, but the Bengals are obviously back, and the Bucs have to deal with them after their bye week this season.
Since there’s no point in continuing this article if Doug Johnson or Anthony Wright starts at quarterback, let’s just assume Palmer will be healthy enough to play (doctors say that all that cornholing is doing wonders for his rehabilitation.) Chad Johnson is the most dangerous player on the team, and not just because he’s the only one not wearing an ankle bracelet. Safeties Will Allen and Jermaine Phillips are going to have to provide some help to Kelly and Barber if they want to keep Johnson in check. Lucky for them, Johnson is the Steve Smith of Cincinnati. T.J. Houshmandzadeh, though competent, can’t beat the Bucs corners, and #3 receiver Chris Henry will be on the sidelines shotgunning Miller Lites with some underage girls from row A. Shutdown Johnson, shutdown the passing game. This leaves Rudi Johnson to carry the offense. Rudi had two good seasons back-to-back, meaning that as a Bengals running back, he is due to either cop an attitude or get injured.
Sorry, didn’t mean to say “cop”.
The Bengals’ best defensive player, Odell Thurman, will just be coming off a four game suspension for violating an obscure NFL rule called the “substance abuse policy” (you probably haven’t heard of it) and will still be shaking off the early-season rust against the Bucs. Deltha O’Neal, Cincinnati’s only other defender who won’t be in jail or court, will have his eye on Chris Simms all game. Chris will stay smart and take the check downs to the back or tight end. A heavy dose of Cadillac on the perimeter and a couple good swings from Matt Bryant‘s leg is all it will take to run over the Bengals in this low-scoring game.
(0) CommentsPhiladelphia Eagles: October 22 (home)
Head Coach: Andy Reid
Projected QB: Donovan McNabb
Team Motto: Unprintable
Historical Record: 6-7 (from Bucstats.com)
I hate the Eagles. I don’t hate much in this world… injustice, intolerance, cruelty. And the Philadelphia Eagles. Not even the players as individuals. For example, I’d love to have Brian Dawkins on my team. Brian Westbrook seems like a good guy, too. They’re just employees of the team I hate that play to entertain the most despicable fans of any sport anywhere.
I didn’t always feel this way. A few years ago, the Eagles were just another team the Bucs played every so often that I would root against, but didn’t have any strong feels about one way or the other. Then came the 2002 season and the NFC Championship game. Bucs receiver Joe Jurevicius‘s wife had prematurely given birth to their son Michael in the week before the game, and there were serious problems. Joe didn’t practice with the team and didn’t fly up with them, but somehow made it to the game and was an integral part of the Bucs win. Joe’s story was widely reported, and while his son lay in a hospital bed clinging to life, the Eagles fans tore into him. Vicious, hurtful, disgusting remarks were hurled at Joe from all corners of the Vet. Not about his playing ability, not about his team… about his son. In the city of brotherly love, the Eagles fans were attacking a sick infant. That story was reported as well. I have never heard word one from the Eagles front office that they condemned this behavior. As far as I’m concerned, that’s the same as condoning it. That, my friends, is why I hate the Eagles. I now root for them not only to lose, but to lose in the most humiliating fashion possible… for each player to feel like less of a man after every game. If you hadn’t heard this story before, you have now and you should hate the Eagles, too. And if you’re an Eagles fan, go visit the Browns message board right now and apologize to Joe. Now on with the analysis.
The last time the Eagles played the Bucs at home in a game that was at all meaningful was 1991. Seven out of the last eight contests between these two teams have been in Philadelphia, the lone exception being a throw-away season closer that very few starters bothered to show up for. This home game has been a long time coming, and the Bucs fans have been preparing. Expect the most raucous crowd in RJ history as an Eagles team with absolutely no viable offensive weapons takes the field. For a team whose leader in receiving yards and touchdowns last year only played seven games, the Eagles didn’t address their shortcomings on offense much in the offseason. They waited until the fourth round to bolster their woefully-understaffed skill positions, selecting Jason Avant in the fourth and some currently-injured skier in the fifth. Just how thin are the Eagles at wide receiver? They recently traded for Hank Baskett, an undrafted rookie free agent. The Bucs defense could play with their helmets on backwards and still limit the Eagles to three points.
Defensively, the Eagles are still very stout, with playmakers at all levels of the field. Surprisingly, this defense which includes Dawkins, Jeremiah Trotter, Jevon Kearse, Sheldon Brown and Dhani Jones only ranked 23rd in the NFL last season. And with everything remaining the same in 2006, there’s no reason to believe they will do any better. The Bucs will rule time of possession, unleashing a balanced attack and wearing out the defense in the second half. Expect a lopsided Bucs victory.
But more than inferior offense and poor planning, the Eagles will lose because they have no souls.
(2) CommentsThis dummy with Rod Coleman‘s jersey on it may seem silly and unrealistic. After all, there’s no way Rod looks that good in his jersey. But it fills me with hope that Chris Simms is working on the one thing that really detracted from his progress last season: batted balls. Simms had several balls knocked down at the line last season, many of them in critical situations. If he can overcome those, he may be a top 5 quarterback this season.
(0) CommentsNew York Giants: October 29 (away)
Head Coach: Tom Coughlin
Projected QB: Eli Manning
Team Motto: “Official Team of the National Football League”
Historical Record: 6-9 (from Bucstats.com)
The New York Giants are the official team of the National Football League. You won’t find that fact anywhere in NFL publications, but it must be true. After Katrina hit last year, the Saints needed a stadium somewhere to call their home field for a game against the Giants. Now, what would be the one place in the entire country that couldn’t possibly suit that need? Right… Giants Stadium. Yet Commissioner Tagliabue (based in New York) thought it would be just fine to make the Saints travel to New York, dress in the visitor’s locker room, and play in a stadium with Giants propoganda visible from all angles. And they still called it a Saints home game. Need more evidence? Remember last season when the NFL started selling Giants NFC East Champions gear on their site before they had even clinched it? The Redskins, who could have won the division in the final week, had no championship gear available on the site. How did the NFL know the Giants were going to win the division? How did both the field judge and the replay official rule that an obvious Kerry Collins sneak up the middle for a touchdown against the Giants in week 17 went for no gain? That play would have pulled the Raiders to within a field goal with well over two minutes left to play, possibly pushing the Giants out of the playoffs. Look, I’m not saying the game was fixed… mostly because I don’t want Roger Goodell to have my legs broken. But I think you see where I’m going with this.
Despite the Giants being the favorite team of referees everywhere, they will not beat the Bucs on this day. Despite having a tandem of defensive ends that combined for 26 sacks last season, they will lose. They will lose because Eli Manning will be quarterbacking their team, and the Bucs are decent competition. See, Manning looked like gold against Arizona, San Francisco and New Orleans. But against higher caliber teams like San Diego and Seattle, Manning folded. Even with his draft status, preferential treatment and name, Eli Manning is simply not getting any better. The Giants had the #4 offense in the league last year, all due to Tiki Barber. Barber ran for over 1,800 yards last year, and every opposing team knew what was coming. Still, Manning couldn’t complete more than 53% of his passes. Never was his penchant for honking the big one more evident than in his wildcard shellacking by the Panthers, who held Barber to 41 yards and as a result, put the game on Manning’s slouched shoulders. The Bucs #1 defense will concentrate on bringing Barber down hard, leaving Manning to rely on… who, again? Jeremy Shockey will be nursing a hangover (which he will refer to as a “concussion"), Amani Toomer scares no one, and Plaxico Burress, while good, can’t win the game by himself.
Ok, so the Bucs offensive line better have their act together by now, because the Giants front four aren’t kidding. Michael Strahan had the most tumultuous offseason of any player not wearing tiger stripes (yes, I’m going to beat Bengal jokes into the ground all season long.) This year, Strahan has been accused of being gay, videotaping his sister-in-law undressing, adultery, spousal abuse, and having plastic surgery. Let’s hope all that serves as a distraction because Kenyatta Walker or Jeremy Trueblood will need every advantage they can muster. And Osi Umenyiora is even better than Strahan (but I don’t have any jokes about him, so he only gets this.) Lucky for Chris Simms, the Giants had so much faith in their secondary that they revamped the whole thing. In come Sam Madison, Will Demps, Quentin Harris and R.W. McQuarters to save the day. Demps is the only one who should concern the Bucs, which will make for a big passing day for Simms if he can get the ball out quickly enough. Simms et al will be able to answer any score Tiki Barber gets (since he’ll be the only one scoring for the Giants) as the Bucs win this one by at least a touchdown.
Speaking of Tiki, with this game being over two months away, I think I’m pretty safe saying I’m the first one to bring up these cliches:
“Poor Ms. Barber… she’s not going to know who to root for.”
“I sure hope Eli gets confused and throws to Ronde!”
“After the game, you’ll be able to find Ronde by his brother’s side.”
The week before the game, make a mental note of how many times you see some variation of the above. I have no point to this… I just get annoyed when journalists take the cheesy way out, and this is a golden opportunity for them to do just that.
(0) CommentsMy thoughts as I watched the preseason game against the Jets:
Overall I think the rookies got a good tryout on Friday and thought they used their opportunities well. I’ll be interested to see what adjustments Gruden makes in his last week of camp.
(0) CommentsWashington Redskins: November 19 (home)
Head Coach: Joe Gibbs
Projected QB: Mark Brunell
Team Motto: “But their skin is red. What’s the problem?”
Historical Record: 7-8 (from Bucstats.com)
Forget the Packers and Falcons and Eagles and Panthers. Pound for pound, the best Bucs rivalry is the one they have burgeoning right now with the Redskins. It began in 2004 when, as the very first nail in a 5-11 coffin, Clinton Portis reeled off a 64 yard touchdown run untouched. Yeah, nothing pisses a defense off more than that. Fast forward to November 2005 and the back-and-forth affair that saw the Bucs give up an 11 point lead to Mark Brunell of all people, only to win it on a Mike Alsott two-point piledrive up the middle that I’m still not sure was good. But, after dozens of fruit baskets to every official in the league, Joe Gibbs would have his revenge two short months later in a wildcard Bucs loss as every single call went the Redskins’ way. There’s just no other way to explain a game where the Bucs held Washington to a total offensive output of 136 yards and still lost. Trust me… fruit baskets.
And those are just the games. The side drama adds another whole dimension to the rivalry. Between Joe Gibbs, who still does not understand how to use his 21st century headset, crying to chief ref Mike Pereira that his team didn’t get a fair shake (Mike disagreed) and Sean Taylor‘s ejection for spitting in Michael Pittman‘s face (Pittman’s retaliation was the greatest two seconds of Bucs video last year,) you have a rematch rife with potential for the best kind of entertainment… the kind where Dan Snyder leaves the stadium sobbing. Whenever Dan Snyder is unhappy, another angel gets its wings.
If any back can beat the Bucs, it’s Portis. Portis has a 5.1 yard per carry average against Tampa Bay and a knack for finding the open channel in a sea of bodies. The good news for the Bucs is that Portis is currently sitting out the remainder of the preseason with a shoulder injury. This means that, even if he comes back for the first regular season game, nine other teams will have had the opportunity to target his bad shoulder for abuse. Ladell Betts is just getting over a hamstring injury and never had more than 37 yards in a game against the Bucs anyway. This leaves Mark Brunell to win the game with his arm. Wait… it gets better. In January’s game against the Bucs, Brunell was held to a 25.7 passer rating on a total of 41 yards (remember, fruit baskets.) Brunell somehow found a way to render Santana Moss, their second best offensive player, completely impotent. This makes Chris Cooley the Redskins most explosive player. And if you’re thinking about bringing up Antwaan Randle El… just stop.
Washington has been looking for a Champ Bailey replacement for a couple years now but still hasn’t been able to find anyone to help out Shawn Springs on the left side. And Springs needs all the help he can get. He only had one interception last year and never seemed to be around the ball (career low in tackles per game in 2005.) Gibbs addressed this issue by letting Lavar Arrington leave and adding Adam Archuleta to the safety position. Nice. Up front, the Redskins’ strength is on their right side, but no one seems to get to the quarterback that much. For example, their right LB had as many sacks last year as their right DE. This is good news for lefty Chris Simms who will be able to keep his eye on their best players all game long. Gregg Williams will send blitz after blitz and if the Bucs backs can pick them up, look for Joey Galloway to have a monster day against the already crippled Redskins secondary. The Bucs will even out their record against the Redskins and may actually send Mark Brunell into retirement after this game.
(0) CommentsThis Sunday, the Bucs are scheduled to take residence in their brand new, state-of-the-art Practice Facility of Dreams (PFoD) across the street from Raymond James Stadium. In one move, the Bucs go from practicing in a literal rat trap to a compound that Jon Gruden himself calls ”the best in all of sports.” At a time of major transition like this, it’s easy to get all nostalgic and misty-eyed for what is being replaced. After all, One Buc Place is where Lee Roy Selmon, Doug Williams, James Wilder, Paul Gruber, Richard Wood and hundreds of other notable Bucs made their bright, orange mark on the NFL. Even Gruden got into the act when he started affectionately referring to it as “The Woodshed.”
Let’s stop being ridiculous, ok? A woodshed is where you store crap you don’t want to look at anymore. One Buc was inadequate thirty years ago and now is downright unforgivable now. It was built by an owner who didn’t really care if the Bucs won or lost in the first place and has never once been expanded. A closet would be converted into an office, then that office would be converted into two offices. Team meetings were held in the locker room. Most of the weights for working out were located outside in the 600% humidity. Airplanes from Tampa International Airport constantly flew overhead, leaving pleasant deposits of air and noise pollution in their wakes. For the love of God, it was the only facility in the league that had an actual curse on it (residents of a particular office regularly got sick.) I have heard people say, “But they won a championship with that place!” Maybe, but they also had 13 years of 10+ losses with it. It’s a testimony to Bruce Allen‘s and Gruden’s people skills that they ever got a free agent to sign with the team. Can you imagine the snow job those guys must have had to pull to convince Keenan McCardell, Joe Jurevicius, Michael Pittman—guys who were in demand around the league—to become Buccaneers after seeing One Buc? “See that parking garage over there? Yeah… that’s where we practice when it rains.”
The Glazers once again stepped up to the plate and ponied up the dough when it counted. The PFoD is the final piece of the puzzle that the Bucs first started assembling in 1995. New ownership, new stadium, new look, and now a new place to get the work done. Word has it that the PFoD will have everything: full (indoor!) gym, draft war room, cafeteria, stadium-style meeting rooms, enough offices for everyone. All of this will only help the Bucs and their quest for a second Lomarbi trophy. And it’s about time. When One Buccaneer Place is razed to the ground in the coming months (facilitated by one good shove on a load-bearing wall,) don’t give it a second thought and shed no tears. Except maybe for the family of wombats living in Rich Bisaccia’s office. They’ll be missed.
(0) CommentsHere are some notes I took on the second preseason game against the Dolphins:
Against some better competition, there were some cracks evident in the Bucs’ armor tonight. A lot of work obviously still needs to be done.
(0) CommentsDallas Cowboys: November 23 (away)
Head Coach: Bill Parcells
Projected QB: Drew Bledsoe (stop pretending that Tony Romo has any chance)
Team Motto: “If he’s not playing, I’m not talking about him.”
Historical Record: 3-8 (from Bucstats.com)
You hear that? Fellow Texan Ross Perot would call it the giant sucking sound of team pride being drained from the Cowboys as they embark on their quest to give Bill Parcells an aneurysm before October. How exactly did the Cowboys manage to go from a potential playoff team last season to the team everyone is predicting for implosion? In order to shore up one of the most important positions on the field, they signed a deal with the devil and took on the most divisive player in the league… a player well-known for calling out his coach, feuding with his quarterback, and shooting his mouth off when he really should just shut the hell up and earn his check. If it wasn’t for his obvious skill, no one would have touched him.
Of course, I’m talking about Mike Vanderjagt.
It was a tall order to fill Jose Cortez‘s well-travelled shoes, but the Cowboys did their best by signing the most accurate kicker in NFL history. So what if Peyton Manning referred to him as a drunk and an idiot. So what if he publically criticized Tony Dungy for being too nice. The revolving door that has been spinning since Rafael Septien hung up his single-bar helmet and left to sell timeshares would finally stop for Mike Vanderjagt: Franchise Kicker! Fast forward a couple months… Vanderjagt has been inconsistent in camp and now has a groin pull. The thing about a deal with the devil… the devil doesn’t have to keep his end.
All this means that the Cowboys are going to have to actually get the ball in the endzone to score points this season. The Cowboys’ best offensive weapon is Jason Witten, who has been compared to Antonio Gates and Tony Gonzalez. Except those guys have amazing running backs to take some of the load off the passing game. The Cowboys have Julius Jones… good, not great. Jones will need a lot of help from his line to make any yards at all against the Bucs. Flozell Adams is a nice anchor at left tackle, but he had an injury problem last season and is already limping in 2006 after a preseason game against the Saints. The rest of their line is suspect, including Marco Rivera until he proves his back is 100% after some offseason surgery. Expect Chris Hovan to eat up doubleteams during this game, making for a big day for the linebacking corps. Shelton Quarles may have 10+ tackles on this day. And if you think Simeon Rice will let a game go by without sacking a quarterback with the mobility of Stephen Hawking, you’re just not paying attention. Tough day up front for the Cowboys.
Quick, name someone in the Dallas defensive front seven. It’s hard, isn’t it? DeMarcus Ware is their best player up front and Roy Williams is a great safety in a defense that is relatively solid. Their weakness? Penalties. Oh, this is an undisciplined bunch with a league-leading 142 defensive penalties last year. They take risks and lose on many of them and Jon Gruden loves to play with a defensive coordinator’s mind. After Michael Clayton and Joey Galloway use their strength and speed to draw a couple defensive holding penalties, the Cowboy defense will lose their intensity and momentum, giving the Bucs plenty of opportunities to exploit holes with a reasonably balanced attack. If the rookie tandem of Davin Joseph and Jeremy Trueblood can adequately seal off the right side, Cadillac Williams should have another 100+ yard day this Thanksgiving en route to a Buccaneer victory that will put an end to anyone complaining that the team couldn’t rise above their schedule.
There’s some clamoring going on in NFL South circles about the three-team trade that brings Ashley Lelie to the Falcons and ships T.J. Duckett to the Redskins. For Bucs fans, this is a good deal. Duckett, though never really a threat to break a big one, comes through in goalline situations. He has scored four times against the Bucs in his career, all on runs of two yards or less. Washington wanted him enough to pay a third and fourth round pick for him, which means that Clinton Portis‘s injury may be worse than the Redskins are letting on. You gotta love the Bucs’ chances against T.J. Duckett: Feature Back (it even sounds weird, doesn’t it?) as opposed to Portis, who scares the hell out of me, and not just when he’s wearing the Sheriff Gonna Getcha costume.
As for the Bucs facing Lelie twice a year in Atlanta now, keep in mind that Michael Vick has to throw the ball where he can catch it in order for Lelie to be effective. Lelie is a deep-threat guy, not someone who’s going to go across the middle and let Will Allen take his head off. Are you really concerned that Vick can hit Lelie with the deep ball? Of course you’re not… Vick is awful.
In a related note:
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers debated giving up a fourth-round draft choice to Denver, but never offered it.
With the depth the Bucs have at receiver, who would have lost their spot to Lelie and his $1.4M cap hit? Ike Hilliard? Edell Shepherd? I’m guessing David Boston was being considered for replacement since he’s still nursing some nagging injuries and hasn’t done much in the preseason. But his risk/reward is so low that it didn’t make sense to trade for yet another guy with issues.
(0) CommentsHere are some observations on the Jaguars game:
This was it. This was the big dress rehersal for starters, and while they shut out the Jags in the first half, it’s obvious that the offense isn’t firing on all cylinders. The Houston game will be mostly backups and camp bodies to see who makes it to the practice squad and who will be selling insurance on September 10. Here’s to hoping the offense gets it together by then.
(0) CommentsPittsburgh Steelers: December 03 (away)
Head Coach: Bill Cowher
Projected QB: Ben Roethlisberger
Team Motto: “Helmets optional.”
Historical Record: 1-6 (from Bucstats.com)
I was worried about this one. When I first decided to do this series, I looked over the schedule to see who I thought would give me trouble. Fortunately, most of the teams on the Bucs’ schedule have some serious flaws that can be easily exploited. But the Steelers? Super Bowl champs, great ownership that is loyal to their players, solid on both sides of the ball. Even the Bucs’ historical record against the Steelers is abysmal, only beating them once in their 30 year history. I was thinking this would be a two word entry reading, “They won’t.”
But the preseason is a funny thing. Everyone agrees that you can’t predict a season by the preseason record, but it still reveals a lot about a team’s first string players and how well-prepared they are. And if we’re going by how the Steelers looked in the preseason, I have to say, I’m not worried. Ben Roethlisberger, undisputed team leader and Suzuki spokesman, is not looking so sharp. Take their most recent game against the Eagles, the third and most important preseason game for starters. Roethlisberger was awful. Kordell Stewart-awful. He was only in for two series and managed to get intercepted, sacked, called for intentional grounding and called for delay of game. One series ended with a punt, one ended with said interception. He never looked comfortable in the pocket, he telegraphed his throws, and seemed very quick to take the checkdown. If the Bucs are confident that their starting corners can cover Hines Ward and… uhh… whoever else they have at receiver, they can load the box against Roethlisberger and force him to make the mistakes that he seems prone to making. Big Ben benefits from having one of the best offensive lines in the league, but they’re going to have to keep a tight end and a back in there to block Tampa’s incredible front seven. I expect Monte Kiffin to employ more blitzes than usual for this game, keeping Roethlisberger off balance. I’d also like to suggest to the Bucs defensive players that while they’re on the field, they occasionally make that tire skreeching sound that kids make when they’re playing with Matchbox cars. Because, you know, that never gets old.
The Pittsburgh defense is excellent, with their linebacking corps being their main strength. And Troy Polamalu is as solid a safety as any in the league. The running game for the Bucs isn’t going to go anywhere, so they’ll have to rely on short passes across the middle and occasional hitches to Joey Galloway to make their yards. This might open up the long ball on a couple of occasions, and the Bucs have to take advantage. Make no mistake; this will be a game of very few points that will hinge on a few key plays. But with three full months of games behind him, Chris Simms will have the confidence and awareness to take advantage of them, edging out the Steelers on their home turf.
(1) CommentsI didn’t take too many notes on the game against the Texans because, well… you saw it, too, right? Bruce Gradkowski looked good again against the third stringers, David Boston got open, and Tim Rattay answered the age old question, “What kind of guy loses his starting job to Ken Dorsey?” The Bucs lost the game but gained enough knowledge to make what amounted to some very easy decisions on Saturday. Most of the names on the cut list you probably could have guessed ("What? Anthony Trucks didn’t make the team?!?") but there were a couple surprises:
From one of the most shallow positions on the roster, the Bucs released DT Jon Bradley, a capable backup who has seen some real game experience. Instead, they kept Julian Jenkins, a rookie who did very little in the preseason. Sorry, fifth round status should not be enough to guarantee a roster spot. Jon Gruden must have seen something in this kid that he liked in camp, because he certainly didn’t display it in the preseason. Going by preseason production alone, Bradley should have been the easy choice. If McFarland or Hovan goes down this season, the Bucs are going to regret this decision.
Carey Davis, the fullback who earned a preseason game MVP (and steak and lobster according to Gruden) and Rick Razzano who was suspended last season for violating the NFL’s steroid policy ("don’t take them") were cut in favor of Jerald Sowell. Remember that one play in the preseason where Sowell opened up that huge hole? Of course you don’t.
Toniu Fonoti was cut when no one could translate the concept of pass blocking into Samoan. This made Toniu angry. And you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.
Chas Gessner was cut, but placed on the practice squad. I have to admit, I was on the Chas bandwagon for a while when I heard all the great stuff about him in camp. But when he had a few opportunities to shine in the preseason, he blew it. I guess you really can tell a lot about a guy by where he vacations (”The Hampty Hampts?” You should be ashamed.) Special commendation to Ski for sticking to his guns on this one.
The biggest surprise here was the release of Edell Shepherd in favor of Paris Warren. Warren was decent in the short passing game against the opponent’s backups this preseason (he had zero catches in the first half of any game this preseason) and was a miserable punt returner. Shepherd flashed a few good catches in the preseason and has regular season game experience to build on. I’m not saying either of them deserves to start anywhere in the league, but if you have to choose one to keep, why Warren?
The Bucs still lack depth at some positions, namely quarterback and defensive tackle. Shifting Blue Adams to safety and the acquisition of Doug Jolley strengthened those positions considerably. Overall, the Bucs have a pretty strong roster everywhere except perhaps on the offensive line.
(1) CommentsAnthony McFarland in 2005: 15 games, 18 tackles, 9 assists, 2 sacks, $3,006,065 salary.
Backups Dewayne White, Kalvin Pearson and Juran Bolden each had more tackles than McFarland and White had three sacks. And collectively, the backups earned $1,351,848 last year. And now McFarland is already in doubt for the season opener. Everyone be sure to thank Rich McKay for extending this contract on his way out the door. Can we please, finally, call this guy a bust and move on with someone else at under tackle?
(2) CommentsHere’s a trivia question for you: Name the last three quarterbacks the Bears started against the Bucs. You’re forgiven if they’re not on the tip of your tongue. Two of them are out of the NFL altogether, and the other has been relegated to the Bears’ third string quarterback, which pretty much the same thing. The answer is Henry Burris, Jonathan Quinn, Kyle Orton. The last time the Bears had anything resembling a franchise quarterback was the mid 90s when Erik Kramer was leading the team to back-to-back 4-12 seasons. But every now and then an unknown Bears quarterback of marginal talent will step up and take credit for an aberrational winning season that was handed to him on a silver platter by his defensive captain and/or his running back. It happened in 2001 when the Bears went 13-3 on the back of Anthony Thomas, Jim Miller doing his best to just stay out of the way. And it happened again last year as the Chicago defense ranked #2 in the NFL, former Buccaneer Thomas Jones churned out 1,335 yards on the ground, and Kyle Orton still somehow managed to have the second worst passing game in the league. So you can’t blame Bears fans for giving Rex Grossman a hero’s welcome as he limped out on the field (being very careful not to step in any divots) last December.
Grossman returned with much fanfare to the Bears’ lineup at the tail end of the 2005, replacing a remarkably ineffective Orton against Atlanta. On his first play from scrimmage, Grossman completed a 22 yard pass to Muhsin Muhammad and inspired all of Chicago to declare him the savior of the franchise that is still living off of Walter Payton‘s memory. What people forget is that they had been watching Kyle Orton all season long. This Kyle Orton. Of course Rex Grossman is going to look good by comparison. Rex Reed would look good by comparison. The truth is that, for the season, Orton and Grossman had identical passer ratings. 59.7, to be precise.
And all of this would matter if either one of those guys was going to play this game. But they won’t, because by the time this game happens, Grossman will have torn 12 ligaments in his legs and possibly contracted the plague. And there’s no way Lovie Smith entrusts this home game to Orton, who went 2 for 10 last time he was behind center. This leaves the Bucs to face Brian Griese, who will be playing behind a decent offensive line that didn’t allow many sacks last season (of course, part of that had to do with Smith calling all running plays.) But the Bucs know Griese, they know what rattles him, and Monte Kiffin won’t be shy about going after him. John Tait can hold his own against Simeon Rice, but that will free up Derrick Brooks to make some key plays in the passing game. Griese just loves throwing interceptions that are returned for touchdowns, and Brooks is a master at taking picks to the house. Look for at least one defensive score for the Bucs. Remember, if Griese was all that good, Jon Gruden would have paid him to stay in Tampa. Apparently, Luke McCown > Brian Griese.
As I said, the Chicago defense was #2 overall (behind the Bucs, thank you very much) last year and they’re bringing back all 11 of their starters in 2006. Plus they added Ricky Manning, Jr. from Carolina at cornerback, giving them significant depth in the secondary. Last year against the Bucs, defensive ends Alex Brown and Adewale Ogunleye completely frustrated Chris Simms, batting down balls at the line, viciously sacking him and causing him to fumble, forcing grounding penalties and making him doubt his religion (ok, I made that last part up.) The good news is that, despite all the pressure, the Bucs only lost on a Matt Bryant missed field goal in the last three minutes of the game. That’s it. An extra year of preparation for Simms, a healthy Cadillac Williams and Michael Clayton and new high draft picks on the offensive line are enough to push the Bucs over the top for this game. Bucs by a touchdown.
(1) CommentsBlah blah blah blah blah. Doo wah diddy diddy mmmmbop. Umm, blah blah stutter blah pffft.
That’s what this column would look like if I didn’t at least try. It looks ridiculous, doesn’t it? Whether you think I did a good job (thanks, Mom!) or a poor one (the rest of you,) at least you know I showed up and gave it a shot.
On Sunday, the Bucs did not show up. Which is curious since it was a home game. No, the team that represented Tampa Bay was a bunch of guys who had apparently never played together before, never seen a playbook, and were possibly coached by Leeman Bennett. This “team” generated zero points, 163 yards of total offense, allowed more interception return yards than passing yards, and got kicked up and down the field by a squad never known for their offensive production. I would compare these imposter Bucs to the replacement squad of 1987, but that wouldn’t be fair to the scabs who at least scored occasionally and won a couple games.
Fans will be quick to blame Chris Simms, and they are right to do so. Though the offensive line was missing a couple starters and the backups were somewhat out of position (why start Sean Mahan at left guard when he played all 16 games in 2005 at right guard?) Simms usually had plenty of time to scan the field and find an open receiver. Except he didn’t scan the field. He dropped back, pointed at his target receiver, shouted “I’M PASSING NOW!”, and let the ball fly into the hands of a defender who jumped on cue. How else do you explain three batted balls (one for an interception) when an entire offseason was spent on teaching Simms how to stop staring down receivers and telegraphing his throws? And the times where he didn’t hold the ball too long, he made poor decisions and was off target. It’s not that Chris McAlister made an exceptional play on the pass intended for Doug Jolley; the ball was just woefully underthrown.
Speaking of that interception, did it look to you like the entire offense just gave up on pursuing McAlister down the right sideline? It seems like Cadillac had a shot at him, but broke off pursuit when it looked like a defender had an angle on him. As with the rest of the game, it looked like they just weren’t trying.
Simms’s receivers didn’t help him out much, either. Joey Galloway, the Bucs’ best receiver, had a pass hit him right on the “8” but couldn’t bring it in. That’s the only time a ball came close to Joey, who never make a catch this game. Most of the time, the Ravens dropped eight defenders and gave Buc receivers no chance to get open.
Bruce Gradkowski came in at the end of the game, but only to keep Simms from getting killed. Gradkowski coompleted exactly one pass and looked uncomfortable in the pocket that was continually collapsing under the weight of a Raven defense that simply never let up. This shouldn’t be seen as the beginning of a quarterback controversy. But a couple more performances like this from Lefty, and look for the poorly written “Make Simms sit” signs to start popping up in the stands at Ray Jay.
The Bucs have had bad quarterback performances before, though, and come out victorious through exceptional play of their defense. And this preseason, it looked like the Buc defense would be even better than last year. But from the first play of the game, the Raven offensive line dominated the Bucs and gave Jamal Lewis huge holes to run through and Steve McNair all the time he needed to pick apart a Buc defense that recorded no turnovers and only one sack. Not that they didn’t have the chance to get a turnover or two. The Ravens fumbled four times but recovered them all themselves. You could say the ball just didn’t bounce their way, but opportunistic Buc defenses of the past recovered those balls anyway. These Bucs just didn’t seem to… care.
Jon Gruden has to shoulder some of this blame, too. For a coach whose first words to the Buc faithful after a Super Bowl victory were “Pound that rock!”, there weren’t a lot of pounding plays called. The Bucs ran the ball only 13 times, Cadillac Williams only getting eight of those. Maybe Gruden didn’t have any faith in his patchwork offensive line… the Bucs’ first two offensive plays were bootlegs. When it was obvious that Simms wasn’t on his game, wouldn’t it have been smart to run the ball more? Even after Williams left the game with back spasms, Michael Pittman (who ran the ball very well last year) could have been used to wear down Raven linebackers and maybe keep a few guys out of coverage to help Galloway or Michael Clayton get open. Whatever the reason, the coach abandoned the running game and put the outcome in his quarterback’s hands. The same hands that only attempted 26 passes in the entire preseason. So much for the theory that resting your starters in the offseason keeps them fresh. Sore and ready seems to beat fresh and rusty.
This is only week 1. The Bucs lost to the Saints at home opening day in 2002 and that turned out pretty well. And you hate to call any game in the first month a “must win”. But with Atlanta and Carolina coming up before the bye, these games will set the tone for the rest of the season. And so far, the tone is pretty flat.
(7) CommentsYou’ve probably heard that the Bucs worked out nine players this week, including quarterback Stefan LeFors, who is only getting a shot because Jake Delhomme somehow made it ok to have a pansy French name in the NFL. But what you may not have heard is that another, more specialized quarterback has also caught Jon Gruden‘s eye.
“We also worked out Ken Mortimer, who is known in some circles as ‘The Falconer’,” said Gruden. “We’ve heard he knows the Falcons and is able to read them like no one else. He’s not all that big or strong, and frankly he smells like a jockstrap, but if he can work his magic on the Falcons for us, he’ll be the best addition we’ll make all season. By the way, does anyone know who Donald is? Mortimer keeps asking for him.”
When it was explained to Gruden that Mortimer is actually actor Will Forte playing a fictional character, Gruden wasn’t dissuaded. “We’ll give him a shot anyway. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? That he scores no points?”
You should be doubly-mad at the Bucs today. I know I am. They’re screwing you out of some quality entertainment, and me out of a good column. Oh, I had some great jokes lined up about other teams. Some were clever, some were more abrasive, but they were all funny. The trick was going to be cramming them all into one column while still singing the praises of a Buccaneers win. Then, after Matt Bryant‘s second missed field goal, I threw them away. How can I make fun of Cleveland (two touchdowns in the fourth quarter), Green Bay (27 points), the Jets (have won a game) when fans of those teams can just turn around and say, “Yeah, but you’re a Bucs fan.”? Even the Raiders have doubled the Bucs’ point production this season. The Raiders!!
The Bucs have precisely 73 problems on their team: every player and every coach. The most severe and urgent one of them is quarterback (sic) Chris Simms. He apparently thought this game was in Oklahoma (hey, they both end in “a") and put up numbers surprisingly similar to his college chokefests against a team that simply had his number. Simms missed several open receivers in critical situations, misread coverages, could not find throwing lanes despite adequate protection, and really, really sucked out loud. Even something as simple as a quick scamper up the middle for three yards and a first down on the first drive of the game eluded him, Simms choosing instead to throw an awkward toss to Mike Alstott, who wound up dropping it. The Falcons also rejected more bad passes than a prom queen at Dragoncon. Part of the reason for the better-than-average line protection is that the Atlanta front four didn’t bother rushing too much. They just watched Simms’s eyes, waited for him to start his throwing motion, went to the sideline for some water and a quick rubdown, then got back to the field in time for him to release the ball and deflect the pass. Did I mention that Chris Simms has the slowest release in all of recorded history? Occasionally, Simms would get into a rhythm… mostly when the Atlanta defense knew that his completing a pass wouldn’t matter. In fact, he passed for a career high 313 yards. But when he needed only four of those yards to get a touchdown at the end of the first half, Simms missed an unbelievably uncovered Ike Hilliard who looked absolutely amazed that he didn’t have a ball in his hands.
I haven’t even covered Simms’s three interceptions, the other three that should have been intercepted, or the whereabouts of that precision long ball accuracy we’ve all heard so much about. But I’m feeling sorry for Simms, much in the same way I feel sorry for a turtle who has been flipped onto his back. He kicks and struggles and wobbles (all very slowly and without coordination,) but can’t ever seem to get back on his feet. So, I’ll stop piling on Chris. For now.
While the Bucs equipment manager is busy stitching Brady Quinn‘s name on the back of a jersey, we should take a look at some of the other offensive problems with the team during this game. The running game generated only 40 yards on 16 carries. In Cadillac Williams‘s defense, this wasn’t entirely his fault. The Bucs offensive line, though excellent in the passing game, created few adequate holes for Williams to run through. But the ones that they did make, Cadillac seemed to miss. The Bucs receivers did their best to bail Chris out; Joey Galloway himself caught nine passes for 161 yards and Michael Clayton dove for a huge 19 yarder in the first half. But most of those passes were just off target enough to slow the receiver down and allow the defender to tackle them. It seemed as though whenever someone was on their game for the offense, someone else was off, keeping everyone out of the endzone. Keep in mind that the Falcons did all this without their premier free agent acquisition, defensive end John Abraham. If he had been in the game, there’s a good chance the Bucs would have finished with negative points.
But at least the defense made us proud, right? I mean, all those big plays they made, and the way they stuffed the run and controlled the line of scrimmage. (See how a little gentle sarcasm really drives the point home?)
No, in actuality Michael Vick and Warrick Dunn ran roughshod over the Bucs’ defense using an offensive scheme normally only employed by institutions with “Tech” in their names. The Falcons ran for a record 306 yards against the Bucs, dominated time of possession and rendered invisible the Bucs’ highest paid players (Anthony McFarland does not show up on the stat sheet.) Derrick Brooks was outrun and blown up more during this one game than in any other full season I can remember. He did record the only Bucs interception of the game and nearly scored if not for a completely bogus illegal block call on Ryan Nece on the runback (the league really should reconsider requiring their officials to be sighted.) Other than that one play, the defensive front seven may as well have taken the Coke tour. The secondary spent most of their time cleaning up the run defense since the Falcons only had to attempt 16 passes. The Bucs’ leading tackler was safety Jermaine Phillips, which should tell you all you need to know about how the defense performed on Sunday.
During halfime, Jon Gruden threw away the strategy of the first half (the paper was deflected before it hit the trash can) and allowed Simms to take five and seven step drops, which seemed to help him out. If he takes this philosophy into the Carolina game, there’s a slight chance the Bucs could score enough so that you’d have to use two hands to count the points. And if Monte Kiffin can re-emphasize the fundamentals of stopping the run and controlling the line, they may just hold the Panthers to only one 100 yard rusher. But the blueprint is out on the Bucs now. Their weaknesses have been exposed and the 11 remaining teams they have to face know exactly how to not only beat the Bucs, but humiliate them and possibly make them cry. Here’s to hoping they can make the necessary changes to salvage the season so I can use my time to rip other teams.
(6) CommentsTBO’s very own Roy Cummings made an interesting speculation in his 9/20 Bucs Bonus podcast. He said that maybe Chris Simms‘s six interceptions in two games isn’t so high if you take into account how many passes he attempts per game. He said he’d like to see what the league average is and compare it to how Simms is doing. Well, me being a stats kind of guy, I was more than happy to oblige him even though he never asked me or even knows my name. I’m here to help.
In the 2005 regular season, all quarterbacks combined hucked the ball up 16,430 times and had 507 of them picked off, for a 3.09% INT ratio. This year, all quarterbacks combine for an even more impressive 2.74%. By comparison, our boy Lefty in two “games” this season has attempted 82 passes and was picked off only six times (I say “only” because if some of those Falcons had better hands, it could have easily been eight or nine by now.) This gives Simms a 7.32% INT ratio, more than double the league average last year and almost triple this year. His is the worst of the 31 starters in the NFL (the Raiders were recently re-assigned to the PAC-10) and needs to be remedied now. Obviously, most of that is in Chris’s court and hopefully he can speed up his delivery, learn to look off safeties and read defenses better sometime in the next three days.
But it’s not all on him. Everyone else on the offense has to take their share of the responsibility to make Simms a better quarterback. We all know he has the physical tools to do it and he showed us in 2005 that he can put together a complete game. Here’s how the other guys can help boost Chris up and maybe get him out of this slump:
None of this is letting Simms off the hook. Just putting some others on it. Including you. Ticket holders, do not boo Chris if he screws up… it only helps the Panthers, and the Panthers already get enough help from steroids. Sunday is a home game against a winless team whose best player still hasn’t practiced this year and may not even suit up. It’s winable. Even if the Bucs fall behind early, it’s still winable. Cheer loud for the home team, people. If everyone pulls together, we might just be able to will the Bucs into the win column.
(4) CommentsAdmit it. When Chris Simms completed his first pass of the game to a guy wearing teal, you kind of expected it. It’s ok, so did everyone else. Including the Panthers. A quick pass in the flat to his favorite receiver? Who’d have guessed? And when the Panthers’ first play off the turnover was a 31 yard touchdown pass to, of all people, Keyshawn Johnson, you just knew how the rest of the game was going to play out. I know I did. It was absolutely no surprise to me by then that the Bucs were down 17-0 early in the second quarter and Simms had compiled a passer rating of zero, which doesn’t even take into account the ten yard sack he took from Julius Peppers. The rest of the team wasn’t faring any better, either. Special teams was giving the Panthers great field position and the defense was getting torched by Steve Smith and Keyshawn. I was personally calculating the over/under on how much worse it was going to be than the 45-0 spanking the Bucs took in Oakland in 1999.
And then it happened. Still early in the second quarter, the Bucs had just been awarded a first down off a penalty and Jon Gruden called the play that turned the game around, maybe even the season. I don’t know what 26 word phrase Gruden has for it, but you know it as the flea flicker, and you can only pull it out of your bag of tricks once or twice per season. Simms handed off to Cadillac Williams, who ran it up a yard or so and then pitched it back to Simms, who hit Alex Smith for a 22 yard gain. It’s the quintessential “gadget” play and Gruden calls very few of them, but after it was executed nearly perfectly, you felt everything change. Even from 500 miles away, I felt the momentum shift. The Panthers defense lost their concentration and their edge, getting coaxed off sides twice on successive plays. The drive resulted in a touchdown strike to Joey Galloway and began what should have been the greatest comeback in Bucs history.
Everybody loves a trick play. The fans love them because they take them by surprise and are exciting to watch. The players love them because they don’t run them very often and it’s something different to do. And the coaches love them because they have a high probability of success, owing mostly to the fact that they call them very sparingly. Flea flickers, halfback option passes, laterals back to the quarterback… they’re the ones you wait for. And for whatever reason, this particular play struck a chord with the whole team.
The Panthers never saw the endzone again after the flea flicker. Instead, the Bucs defense had Jake Delhomme under constant pressure, sacked him three times, and forced and recovered (that’s the important part) three fumbles which led to 17 Bucs points. Deshaun Foster was held to 45 yards rushing and Delhomme managed a pedestrian 69.9 passer rating. And though the Bucs’ rushing game never quite got off the ground, Chris Simms posted a 113.8 passer rating, thanks in large part to the Bucs’ willingness to continue running the ball even when down 17-0. After the flea flicker, things started coming together the way the team had envisioned it when the season started.
(warning… tangent ahead)
Which is why it is truly baffling to me why offensive genius Jon Gruden would, on a third and five with two minutes left and Carolina holding only one timeout, call a low-percentage deep pass to Joey Galloway. Anything… ANYTHING would have been better than an incompletion that stops the clock. Maybe Cadillac breaks one for a first down. Maybe Alstott can drag a couple Panthers with him for five yards. Maybe a quick pass to the flat and Galloway makes a move. Or maybe all those things fail and the clock keeps ticking, leaving the Panthers only 75 seconds to work with. Simms had been good since the flea flicker, but he was obviously hurting. Why make him air it out when you ALREADY HAVE THE LEAD?!? In a season full of bad calls, Jon, this was your worst by far. Shame on you for losing faith in your running game when you needed it the most.
It’s actually almost comical how many times this game could have been put away by the Bucs in the last minute. The play mentioned above is one. Torrie Cox dropped what should have at least been a game-clinching interception if not a touchdown the other way. Some linebacker somewhere should have closed the gap on Delhomme before he scrambled (that doesn’t even sound right) up the middle for 12 yards on a fourth and seven. You can’t stop Jake Delhomme from gaining seven yards up the middle?!? ARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!
(ok, I feel better)
This was truly a tale of two games, and it’s just a shame that the pre-FF Bucs had to give up so many points so quickly. Without so many three-and-outs, without the interception, without just a couple busted coverages, maybe the Panthers are denied one of those scores and the home team pulls out a victory. Instead, we’re stuck with the reality of 0-3 and the dismal history of teams who start that way (something like three or four teams since 1990 have made the playoffs after starting 0-3, none reaching the Super Bowl.) I like to think that these re-inspired Bucs can be one of the exceptions, and maybe they can. Whatever they accomplish, though, will have to be done with Bruce Gradkowski under center for at least the next couple months. Can he continue where Simms left off? Can the secondary patch the holes they still have and put together a complete game? If they can find a rhythm like they did in the second half Sunday, anything is possible. If the Bucs do go on to make the playoffs or even just have a winning season, many will look back to their first win (whenever that may be) as the turning point. But they should look back a little further than that. If the Bucs catch fire late in the season, it is the flea flicker in the second quarter of this game that gave them the spark.
(0) Comments"His dad was one of the greatest at being tough and handling all the criticisms; I worry that he grew up in a much different atmosphere, laissez-faire kind of atmosphere. And I’m worried that he really doesn’t have the mental toughness to deal with the information overload that comes with the NFL. Until I see that from him week after week, like last week, I’m still not a believer.” - Steve Young (2005)
I didn’t forget, Steve. No Buccaneers fan did. Chris Simms isn’t having a career season, there’s no doubt about that. And he’s been under fire from everyone because of it. The media, the fans, his coach… everyone was beating up on Chris for his performance through two games this season. He never deflected responsibility and he never claimed he was being treated unfairly, he just kept practicing. And when his team needed him to perform last Sunday, he performed. And he did it with a ruptured spleen. After leading his team to three touchdown drives in the losing effort, he was rushed to the emergency room to have his spleen removed. No one is exactly sure when the damage occured, but whenever it was, Simms played and played well after it happened. If you were bold enough last year, Steve, to publically call Chris out for no good reason, you should be the first one to credit both his mental and physical toughness after this game. Remember when you missed a game because of an “abdominal strain”? Don’t you think maybe this was worse?
To me, what Chris did on Sunday is equal to Byron Leftwich‘s game against Akron (where his teammates carried him from play to play) and Donovan McNabb‘s game against the Cardinals in 2002 (where he played the majority of the game with a broken ankle.) Jack Youngblood still wins the Toughness Olympics for playing multiple games at defensive end on a broken leg. Although Steve Young probably would have said Jack needed to show more heart and then criticized his father.
Get well soon, Chris.
(1) Comments[I swear to Jebus I wrote the below before I read the Pigskin Preacher’s much more eloquent version. My apologies to the padre.]
Even before Chris Simms went to the hospital on Sunday, the Bucs were in need of a veteran quarterback for him to lean on and provide at least the illusion of depth at the position. Now with Simms out for who knows how long, Bruce Gradkowski gets the next start and Tim Rattay serves as the only available backup. An experienced arm is no longer just on the wishlist, it’s a necessity. My first choice would have been Billy Volek, who looked good as a Titans backup. But with his recent trade to San Diego, we need to take a look at who else is out there or has been mentioned as a possibility. In alphabetical order:
Brett Favre: Favre isn’t going anywhere, at least not until next season. Seriously, a mid-season trade away from the city where he built a legend to a 0-3 team? Not happening. The media has a tendancy to bring up every single quarterback Jon Gruden has worked with when he’s looking for depth, but this rumor has no legs.
Jay Fiedler: Still isn’t healed. The last thing the Bucs need is another injured quarterback with a headset and a clipboard.
Rich Gannon: No way. He’s not in football shape and would most likely wet himself everytime he walked by Derrick Brooks‘s locker.
David Garrard: Re-upped his contract to be a backup with Jacksonville this past offseason, to the surprise of many. Despite some medical issues, he has played well in place of Byron Leftwich, starting five games in 2005. Seems like his price would be pretty high to tear him away and he doesn’t have any familiarity with Gruden’s system.
Jeff George: Please stop.
Brian Griese: The best option in terms of quality quarterback and the only one on this list that would beat Gradkowski out of the starter’s spot. But the $5 million contract he signed with the Bears in the offseason coupled with Rex Grossman‘s tendancy to, you know… break things on his body, will probably drive his trade price too high for the Bucs.
Marques Tuiasosopo: A six year veteran who has started precisely two games, thrown for one touchdown and five interceptions. They’d be better off going with Tim Rattay. At least he’s been with the actual Jon Gruden and not just a weak facsimile of his offensive scheme.
Seriously? It looks bleak. They’ll probably wind up going with someone like Stefan LeFors or someone else equally as non-descript as a warm body in the #3 position. Then when the Bucs have to make a decision on Luke McCown, they’ll activate him whether he’s ready or not, put him in the emergency QB role and hope he continues to heal quickly. Either that or make Chicago an offer they can’t refuse for Brian Griese, which seems foolish.
(1) CommentsAfter reading that the Bucs are considering keeping just two quarterbacks on the roster, I changed my position on the issue (if one can classify the status of a third-string player on a professional sports team an “issue”.) Keeping only two quarterbacks for the next couple weeks is a fine idea and I think it’s the way Jon Gruden should go.
I hate to be a negative nancy (or any kind of nancy for that matter,) but the fact is that the possibility of the Bucs making the playoffs at this stage is pretty slim. And not just because of the rookie quarterback situation. At three games down in the division with two division losses behind them already, winning the NFC South does not seem reasonable. And with several other potential NFC wildcard teams looking so much better than the Bucs (Minnesota, Atlanta, Carolina, Dallas,) anything except going on an 11 game winning tear is going to be for naught. And, really, is 7-9 any different than 4-12?
So, we can look at this in a positive light and see that the team has an opportunity to test some guys out in positions of need rather than spend the roster spot on an emergency quarterback who will not increase the team’s chances of winning in any way. How about activating Alan Zemaitis? Now seems like a good time to try him out in regular season games and see how he does, especially with Brian Kelly and his degenerative turf toe. Or maybe put Maurice Stovall in a couple games and see if Bruce Gradkowski has any chemistry with him. That could be 2008’s Manning/Harrison… only one way to find out. With Anthony McFarland blending so nicely into the background on game days, wouldn’t it be smart to insert Julian Jenkins into a game and see what you have in him? The knowledge gained from putting previously inactive players into some games this season might prove very useful come draft day 2007, where the Bucs will surely have a valuable pick. If any one of them turns out to be a good player, that’s one position the team doesn’t have to spend a high pick on next year. And with the defense looking as slow as it has this season, choosing wisely in the upcoming draft is paramount to the Bucs’ success.
Luke McCown is coming along nicely and will surely be activated after the Cincinnati game, filling up the quarterback stable with the traditional three and eating up the roster spot and the opportunity it affords. What third-string quarterback could the Bucs reasonably acquire for two games that would be more valuable to the team’s future than learning how their most recent draft picks perform under fire? Stick with two and play the young guys.
(1) CommentsWith no Bucs game and very little news coming out about the team this week, I thought I’d take a look at the rest of the sad sacks in the NFL. As they say, misery loves company, and Tampa Bay’s company couldn’t get much more miserable than these “teams”. Now that the Texans and the Browns have both won a game (no, really… you can even look it up,) the Bucs are one of four winless teams left in the league. Here are the other three:
Tennessee: Despite the white hot distraction of Terrell Owens‘s allergic reaction suicide attempt accidental overdose, the Cowboys publically spanked the Titans, prompting Albert Haynesworth to perform a hoedown on Andre Gurode‘s head, Bill Romanowski-style. Did Jeff Fisher say that he was going to turn Haynesworth over to the police to answer for battery charges? Did he say Haynesworth would be immediately suspended for the maximum allowable number of games? Not exactly. He was still upset that he lost field position. “It’s ridiculous to get to that point. Two back-to-back penalties like that, there’s no place for it,” Fisher said. Nice. Lost in all this is Vince Young‘s first start, which produced a sub-50% completion rate and two interceptions, precisely the stats of the guy he replaced.
Detroit: Lost to the Rams 41-34. At least they really were ”so close to scoring 40” this time. Unfortunately, that still wouldn’t have been enough. The Madden Curse has nothing on the curse Matt Millen has on the Lions, who are now 21-63 since he took over management of the team in 2001. Four head coaches, five top ten draft picks, and six years later, does anyone not see the common thread? Maybe just putting your mind to something isn’t enough, Matt. Maybe you have to, you know… have some talent for it.
Oakland: Oakland is so bad, The Mirage was giving them four points against their bye last week. Bye still covered. Then they came off that bye week and blew an 18 point lead to the Browns as Charlie Frye hit three different receivers for touchdowns, including the game-winner to Joe Jurevicius (who the Bucs should never have released.) The visiting Browns had more than a 14 minute advantage in time of possession, with a more than 2:1 advantage in the second half. And in the one act that best embodies the direction Oakland is headed: the Raiders punted, while down by three points, on a fourth and five with 3:13 left. Granted, they’re on their own 25, but what is there to lose? Their quarterback (whose name I never bothered to learn) scrambled for 12 yards just two plays ago!
So, these are the Bucs’ peers, the teams that will all be grouped together in every analyst’s “power rankings”. The good news is that for all the teams above, the problem has to do with serious player mismanagement at a very high level. With the Bucs, it’s mostly execution on the field which can be resolved relatively quickly. The Bucs still have a chance to pull some dignity out of this season, which is more than you can say for any of the other above
