Roy Williams took time out of his busy day of delivering pizzas on siphoned gas (hey, gas is expensive) to talk some smack about Jeff Garcia, whom he played exactly four games with in Detroit a couple years ago (Williams and Garcia connected on 13 passes for 157 yards and 2 touchdowns, in case you care.)

Williams was asked why Garcia "sucked" during his season in Detroit. Williams responded by saying, "because he blamed everybody but himself. ... I respected the man. I just didn't like the fact that it would be (the receivers') fault and never his fault. It's always the receivers' fault."

Considering that Charles Rogers and Mike Williams, who both certifiably sucked balls, were on that team, maybe the receivers deserved that blame. Garcia went on to lead Philadelphia to the playoffs last year and currently has Tampa Bay in the division lead. Williams, on the other hand, went on to guarantee victory over the Bears last year only to have Chicago bitchslap them 34-7. He also said the Lions were a "2-10, but a good 2-10."

And yet his lips just keep flapping...

Williams went on to say that Garcia's command of the West Coast offense is no big deal. "My son can run the West Coast system and he's only 2."

And Rod Marinelli is still playing Jon Kitna?!? Fuck that, strap a helmet on the little bastard and get him in the game. He may not be able to string sentences together yet, but if he can gurgle out "Wide Angle Right 73 Z Spot X Stick Looky" loud enough for the receivers to hear him in the Silverdome, he's better than anyone they've got now. Are teams allowed to have Similac bottles on the field even though it's not a Gatorade product? Just thinking out loud here.

Yeah, so I guess Williams gets the last laugh. I guess Garcia will just have to take solace in his division-leading team, his $5 million salary and his Playmate wife. Meanwhile, Williams won't be able to eat a pizza without pubic hair in it for the rest of his life. You go, Roy!