Five Things You Didn't Know About The Redskins
- Rock Cartwright, James Thrash and H.B. Blades each have action movie deals worked out based on their names alone. Shaun Suisham does not.
- Fred Smoot has his own energy bar called "Smack", which is named after the sound a hooker's ass makes when you spank it in front of all your friends on a cruise ship. Smoot is also working on a line of dildos called "Yeah, Right There".
- Sean Taylor was facing 46 years in jail for assault and battery, but he got to donate money instead.
- Clinton Portis likes to dress up in characters for his press conferences. His latest one, who he only identifies as "Beverly", is a crack-addicted welfare mother of seven who spends most of her days whoring herself out in the inner city. Losing has made Portis kind of dark.
- Chris Cooley got engaged to Redskins cheerleader Christy Oglevee. Oglevee was then fired for fraternizing with players. And by "fraternizing", they mean fucking. Serious, sweaty, repeated fucking. So, for the record, this...
is fucking this...
... which pretty much encapsulates the first hour of "Knocked Up".
Portis is having a decent year an is always dangerous, so the bucs will probably bring down safety support to keep him in check. They can afford to do that because most of their receivers seem banged up and aren't running at top speed right now. Santana Moss, especially, seems kind of off. With the extra men in the box, you can probably expect a few sacks on Jason Campbell as long as the man-on-man protection holds up. Phillip Buchanon will definitely be tested.
The Redskins defense just keeps getting worse. With Sean Taylor out and their passing defense already #24 in the league, you can count on Jeff Garcia airing it out on Sunday. Shawn Springs will probably be on Joey Galloway all day, so both Ike Hilliard and Maurice Stovall should see some favorable match-ups. The Redskins rushing defense is pretty good, so Earnest Graham will have to make most of his yards catching the ball out of the backfield. Bucs by 7.
