Sometimes you just have to stand back and admire the impudence it takes for someone to be a complete and total motherfucker to whomever they please and not give a hot horse shit about what anyone thinks. Bill Parcells is one such motherfucker. After telling Chris Mortensen yesterday that his deal with the Falcons was almost done and having Arthur Blank fly up to New York to meet with him and sign the contract, Parcells backed out and started talking with the Dolphins instead about a similar position with their team. Kind of like when Parcells pulled the plug on a job with the Buccaneers in 1992. Or like when Parcells decided not to take a job with the Buccaneers at the last minute in 2002. In each case he took a coaching position with a different team the following season. I am convinced Parcells has a collection of 12-sided dice that he uses to make all the major decisions in his life.
After all this, I'm pretty sure someone is going to have Parcells murdered. Now's the perfect time to kill him because he is hated so deeply by so many. There are simply too many suspects for the police to deal with. Blank surely wants him dead after leaving him with an unsigned contract and still making him buy lunch. You know Mortensen wants to kill him for telling him the deal was set and having him go public with the story, then making him look like a jackass when he did a 180. Rich McKay would like to see him dead because Parcells's early acceptance of the job made it public that McKay was out as the GM; Blank can't go back to McKay now that everyone knows he wants to replace him. And I'd like to shoot him myself because I was really looking forward to guys like DeAngelo Hall and Roddy White getting demeaning and embarrassing nicknames from Parcells during press conferences. And those are just the people he pissed off yesterday. Parcells has been a cockbag in this league for almost 25 years! You know there's at least one Danny McGrath out there with Parcells as #1.
Well, the good news out of all this is Rich McKay's public humiliation. Blank said without hesitation that he was going to find a new GM. This leaves McKay with relatively little to do besides coordinate repairs on the Georgia Dome and watch the cheerleaders shower through the security cameras. He will leave the Falcons with no head coach, no quarterback prospects and a ridiculous salary cap situation. Not even the nuthuggers in Tampa who supported him all these years can deny his ineptitude in Atlanta.
Meanwhile, the Bucs are NFC South champions with over $31 million in cap space to work with next year and 21 of 22 starters under contract for 2008.
