Natalie Maddox, a former Buccaneers cheerleader, has more degrees than you. And me. Probably combined. She has a Bachelor's in both biology and chemistry, and also a Master's in Oriental medicine. Wait, can you say "Oriental" anymore? Isn't that kind of racist these days? I mean, can I just go up to someone of Asian descent and call them Oriental? I'd hate to offend them, and I certainly don't want to be karate chopped for my faux pas.

Aaaaaaanyway, she is now an acupuncture physician and will happily shove hot needles into your skin to help you with your maladies.

"When you insert the needles, endorphins are released, and these are natural pain relievers," said Maddox, who moved to Florida to attend college in 1996. She graduated from the University of South Florida with a double science major in biology and chemistry in 2000.

I like the fact that they list her credentials right after that statement, so you'll believe that ultra-sharp needles are, indeed, intended to relieve pain.

After college, she worked for a couple of years at Genzyme Genetics, where she "looked at chromosomes under the microscope."

Oh, now she's just showing off. Was the job at the genetics lab before or after she went to astronaut school? And I hear she proved the Riemann Hypothesis during a long lunch break.

So, yes, I suppose Ms. Maddox is mildly appealing if you're into the hot cheerleader, ultra-smart type who are incredibly ambitious and make tons of money. In related news, I was able to open a new jar of pickles by myself. Seriously. No hot water or anything.