Sorry for all the stories about former Bucs. The current ones aren't doing anything interesting, though. I promise my next irrelevant post will at least have some tits in it.

For the first time in a long time, John Lynch feels like he has something to prove. Mostly because some of his teammates think he should have retired this year and make way for some younger guys.

"I think there's a split among the staff," Lynch said Wednesday after recognizing the academic, athletic and community achievements of young student leaders at his "Salute the Stars" program's annual banquet. "Some were happy for me to come back and some didn't say anything -- which tells you something."

Lynch believes coach Mike Shanahan is in his corner, "but there were some people who probably felt they were better without me" or, more succinctly, that he had become a "situational player."

In an effort to keep his job and also to beat the shit out of anyone who doubts him, Lynch is working out in some fashion three times a day, seven days a week. Hasn't anyone told him about the magic of steroids? Here's some of what he does:

John Lynch has worked with former Marine Pete Egoscue as his trainer for more than 20 years and they've resumed their partnership this offseason. Core fitness and postural alignment are chief principles toward delivering total-body health under Egoscue's regimen. Among the items on Lynch's to-do list:

* Daily workouts at 5 a.m., 11 a.m. and after dinner.

* A varied approach to fitness, including items such as bear crawls on the beach, running hills, yoga, intensive stretching, obstacle course and barefoot drops in the sand.

* More pull-ups than perhaps he has done in his basement, Rocky-style.

I didn't even know there was a 5 a.m., and that's when Lynch has already woken up, brushed his teeth, had some kind of nourishment and started working out? Wow, that's impressive. In fact, that whole list looks like it's got... wait a second.

"Intensive stretching"? What the fuck is intensive stretching? British Catholics in the sixteenth century were subjected to intensive stretching. I don't think whatever Lynch is doing qualifies. Unless it's a new euphemism for masturbation that I'm not aware of. In which case, it's brilliant. I wish I'd thought of it when my parents were knocking on the bathroom door wondering what was taking me so long. "I'm just doing some intensive stretching! Repeatedly!"