Josh Freeman

The Fallout: Playing It Safe?

December 20, 2010 at 11:04am by bens   •  9 Comments »

The morning after.  Head hurts, body aches, what happened last night?

Oh God, I didn’t, no, it’s Gary Shelton:

They lost to the Lions?


They lost to Drew Stanton?


They lost to Detroit?

Are you kidding me?

Gotta give Gary the benefit of the doubt here.  He seems to genuinely not know the
answers to these questions. Did you watch the game?  Honestly?  Really?

Hypothetically, if the Bucs had won by a field goal his article would be titled: 
Lucky Bucs Barely Survive Crappy Team, Again.  First sentence: “They didn’t blow out
the Lions? Honestly? Are you kidding me?”

Gary is most upset by the offensive series near the Lion’s goal-line inside the two minute
warning.  Olsen called three consecutive runs, with a 3rd and 7 quarterback 
draw that gained 4 yards, forcing Detroit to burns there time outs.  Then we
kicked a field goal.  This forced the Lions to battle both the clock and our defense in
order to win/tie the game.  They managed to do both.

So what would Shelton do?  He wanted to throw it to Williams.  Of course, if that
didn’t work the clock stops, Detroit doesn’t lose any time outs and has an easier
time marching down the field.  Then Shelton writes an article about not grinding
the clock down with the run.  Catch-22.

Morris is the defensive coordinator.  He had faith that we could stop the Lions
and win the ball game.   He was probably thinking the same thing as Shelton: Drew
Stanton, are you kidding me?  Well, Drew Stanton didn’t look as bad as we thought.  
It helps when your throwing to Calvin Johnson against a depleted secondary.  But
remember this team beat the Packers last week, who almost beat the Patriots this
week.  So the Lions are almost better than the Patriots? Right…

It’s like losing at Jeopardy to Homer Simpson or losing a beauty contest to Amy Winehouse. On a miserable day, the Bucs lost to a miserable team in the most miserable way possible.

Miserable.  Like reading an article written entirely in questions.  By the way, Amy
Winehouse is no babe but I think she could handle Shelton in a beauty contest:

Anyways, my point is the Lions are a team that is getting better.  They have hung close
all year with almost every team they’ve played.  So have the Bucs.  Except we’ve managed
to win a few more in the 4th quater because Josh Freeman is clutch.  They are both teams
with second year first round quaterbacks, rookie running backs, rookie first round DTs, and
banged up secondarys.  We have Mike Williams, they have Calvin Johnson.  It’s not that absurd
we lost a close one in overtime.

Good news is the Packers, Giants and Saints lost.  We’re mathematically still in this baby!  
We can still finish strong in the race to 10: Go BUCS!

(btw, Scott gives you clickies I give you pictures of Gary Shelton. Sorry!)

9 Comments to “The Fallout: Playing It Safe?”


Louie (December 20, 2010 at 11:42am:

Typical crap from the media. Of course, the Bucs make an easy target. They can’t win against a good team and now drop one to a doormat team.


manbearpig (December 20, 2010 at 12:32pm:

What a handsome man.


SGBuc (December 20, 2010 at 01:12pm:

Didn’t they do a Freeman sneak on the first down of that last possession? It might’ve gotten a yard, but for all the hollering that people do about giving Freeman the ball, it just goes to show that “GIVE FREEMAN THE DAMN BALL!” Is not always a viable solution.

Wordy Sanchez

Wordy Sanchez (December 20, 2010 at 02:28pm:

I never suspected that Manbearpig was actually Gary Shelton but the moniker does make sense…


manbearpig (December 20, 2010 at 02:55pm:

“I’m wiford brimely, and I have diabeetusss.


bens (December 20, 2010 at 05:23pm:

@ Louie totally agree

@ SGBUC I think it was Cadillac Run, Cadillac Run, Freeman Sneak

@ Wordy Sanchez I think you’re right

@ manbearpig Sorry Mr. Shelton, you are very handsome much more handsome than Amy Winehouse


Scott (December 20, 2010 at 06:53pm:

There’s a Twilight Zone choice for you: Would you rather fuck Amy Winehouse or Gary Shelton to save your life? Do I have to look either of them in the face? Because that may be the deciding factor.


Louie (December 20, 2010 at 07:09pm:

Would you rather fuck Amy Winehouse or Gary Shelton to save your life?

Would rather just die.


bens (December 20, 2010 at 10:52pm:

Have to go with Louie on this one.

A world where I have to fuck either is one not worth living in.

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