Josh Freeman

Go Ahead And Jump Offsides. It Doesn’t Matter.

August 16, 2012 at 09:02am by Scott   •  1 Comment »

It's not illegal hands to the face. It's just playing hard with a hand full of face. There's a difference.
I’ve been saying that with the new emphasis on discipline at One Buc, Greg Schiano is going to start blowing a gasket over these practice and preseason penalties soon. Then just to make me look like an ass, Schiano goes on the radio and says not necessarily.

“It’s a fine line between being a physical, aggressive football team and getting a flag. You gotta be careful. I don’t ever want to be the least penalized team in the league, because I don’t think you’re trying hard enough then,” Schiano said in an interview with WDAE in Tampa, via “But I certainly do want to be in the top 10. That’s where you should be. You should be — five through 10 is a great place to be as a penalized team.”

After looking at the penalty stats for last year on, I see that Green Bay was the least-penalized team in the league and they went 15-1. I was all ready to tell Schiano he was full of shit, but then I read the next line and saw that Indianapolis was penalized exactly as much as the Packers, actually had fewer penalty yards, and went 2-14.

Wanna keep going? The Lions and the 49ers were ranked #2 and #4 in most penalties assessed last year and both of them went to the playoffs. And the Saints, another playoff team, was smack in the middle at #17. So after reading all this, I can’t think of a less useful stat than how many penalties a team got. If you’ve got a good offense, an extra ten yards isn’t going to kill you. And if you’ve got a good defense, you may give up the field goal with an extra ten yards, but a penalty can’t put the other team in the endzone, so it’s not a backbreaker, either.

None of this is going to matter in a few years anyway. Now that they’ve got chick officials on the field, they’ll all be looking at their fingernails or checking out the cheerleaders’ asses to see if they’re better than theirs or on their phones Facebooking snide comments about those same cheerleader asses… pretty much looking at anything except what’s happening in the game. There could be an on-field beheading and the chick ref would still be taking a poll as to whether black stripes make her look fat.

One Comment to “Go Ahead And Jump Offsides. It Doesn’t Matter.”


Meatmaster (August 16, 2012 at 09:52am:

The last paragraph killed it. Let’s keep all the chicks on the field confided in the scantily clad hot chick cheering section where they can do the most to help the home team.

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