Everything Good You Feel Is A Lie
November 21, 2012 at 10:58am by Scott • 15 Comments »
Everybody feeling good about the win on Sunday? Everybody in a good mood heading into Thanksgiving? Well, Tom Jones hates you and wants to ruin all that. Prepare to have your turkey stuffed with handfuls of negativity and bile. And raisins!
Don’t be fooled by what you’re watching. Don’t get too carried away with the 6-4 record. Hold off on those postseason dreams just for a moment.
We’ve seen this before.
Remember 2010? The Bucs went 10-6 and we all swallowed the bait, thinking it was the start of something great in Tampa Bay.
So you should know that anything good you’re feeling is wrong and should be snuffed out immediately.
Look, I’m not trying to rain on the parade here, but, at the very least, let this be a cautionary tale.
Yes you are. That’s the entire intent of this article. Except we’re not throwing a parade. We all know what happened in 2010 and are well aware that this is a team in transition. But can’t we just enjoy the wins? Does everything have to be a fucking lesson?
Think about it. Whom has this team beaten to make you think it is that good? I want to believe this team has moved into the upper echelon of the NFL and I want to point to a big victory as proof. But that victory just isn’t there.
What the Bucs should do is just insist on playing the Patriots every week.
One victory came against the Chiefs, who have won once and might be the worst team in professional football. Another came in a wild shootout against the 3-7 Raiders and another came against the 4-6 Chargers. There are two victories against the two-win Panthers, each by six points.
The Bucs are winning the games they’re supposed to win. They weren’t doing that last year. I call it positive progress. I assume when Jones’s kid brings home an ‘A’ on an algebra test, he tells him he hasn’t gotten to the REAL math and chastises him for not having conquered calculus yet.
Oh, speaking of beating Carolina on Sunday: Should we be gushing about the Bucs winning a game in which they blew a 10-point lead then needed a late field goal, followed by a defensive stop, a perfect throw-and-catch touchdown, a two-point conversion, a coin flip and an overtime touchdown to beat a team that can’t seem to get through a week without firing someone?
This. This right here. This is the perfect illustration of his perspective. The Bucs didn’t overcome a 10-point deficit to rally for an exciting overtime win where Josh Freeman played perfectly at the time his team needed him most. No, the Panthers blew a 10-point lead and needed everything to line up just right to keep from blowing the game. Same exact story, but how he tells it lets me know where he stands on the Bucs. He hates them and always has.
The best victory? Probably that Thursday night win at Minnesota on three days’ rest. The Vikings are 6-4, but you watch, by season’s end, the Vikings will not have a winning record.
Because regardless of your record, you’re only a good team if you’re on Tom’s special list of acceptable teams to win against. “You are what your record says you are” only applies if you don’t play the Bucs.
The quarterbacks the Bucs have beaten aren’t exactly a murderers’ row of signal callers. More like a murmurs’ row: a sophomore-slumping Cam Newton, Christian Ponder, Brady Quinn, Carson Palmer and Philip Rivers, who has been just awful this season. These five quarterbacks have thrown a combined 46 interceptions.
All first-round picks. Newton was just Rookie of the Year and the Bucs beat him twice. Now, you want a list of terrible quarterbacks? Try Chris Redman, Randy Fasani, Henry Burris, Akili Smith and Mike McMahon on for size. Yeah, those 2002 Buccaneers were real poseurs and didn’t beat anyone good. THEY NEVER PROVED ANYTHING!
Meantime, the Bucs’ four losses have come against teams with a combined record of 20-20. They lost to a pair of 5-5 teams (Saints and Cowboys) who are better than their records. They’ve played four teams with a .500 record or better and beaten only one. They’ve played four really good quarterbacks — Eli Manning, Tony Romo, Drew Brees and Robert Griffin III — and lost to all of them.
Heavens to betsy! You’re telling me that the Bucs are winning against bad teams and losing to good teams? Whoever heard of such a thing? What he’s describing is a halfway decent team. A halfway decent team in its first year under a rookie head coach with entirely new offensive and defensive schemes. And, they haven’t lost a game by more than 7 points but have won by margins of 28 and 19. No credit at all for the good things from Tom. It’s either Super Bowl or go fuck yourselves.
The 2012 Bucs are more talented, better coached and would flat-out hammer the 2010 Bucs. But the comparison shouldn’t be between the 2012 and 2010 Bucs.
Did you not read the article you just wrote? You’re the one who made the comparison!
What matters is how the 2012 Bucs stack up against the rest of the NFL, and we’ll have a better indication starting this week.
They play the Falcons, a team that might not be as good as its 9-1 record but is certainly the best team the Bucs have faced this season.
He’s already taking something away from it. The Bucs could beat a 9-1 Falcons team on Sunday and he has already said they are not as good as their record, so really it wasn’t as big a win as you would think. The game hasn’t even been played and he’s already got the negative spin going.
Then comes a trip to Denver in what appears to be the most difficult game on the schedule. After that, they still have road games left against both the Saints and the Falcons.
These are the games that will tell us just how far the Bucs have come. Beat Atlanta. Beat Denver. Beat New Orleans. Heck, beat one or two of them. Then maybe you have something.
“Then maybe you have something.” I know the Bucs think they’ve won games, but they haven’t. All those weeks of preparation and practicing, all the sweating and hitting and film study… it was all bullshit. They have accomplished nothing and have nothing to be proud of. They might as well have played high school teams.
I can’t believe people think like this. Seriously.
It’s not the Bucs’ fault that they’ve beaten a bunch of lousy teams. They don’t pick the schedule. And winning any game in the NFL is tough stuff no matter whom you play. This isn’t fishing. In the NFL, you don’t throw wins back, no matter the opponent or performance. In the end, the NFL doesn’t count how, it counts how many.
He just spent the entire article saying the opposite. And now he’s softening it up because it isn’t a smart move to tell a bunch of 200-400 pound athletes wearing armor that they haven’t accomplished anything.
But here’s the point in all of this:
OH THANK YOU JESUS.
We really don’t know yet how good this team is. We won’t until it beats a decent team. Until then, don’t get sucked into the hype like we all did in 2010.
Who is getting sucked into hype? We’re just fucking happy. It’s what happens after a win, but you wouldn’t know that because you hate the team and don’t give a shit if they win or lose and write your petty negative bullshit because it gets more pageviews than anything positive you could write. NO ONE THINKS THIS IS A SUPER BOWL TEAM! JUST LET US BE HAPPY!
Back in 2010, the Bucs went 10-6. But here’s the rub: they were 9-1 against teams below .500 and 1-5 against teams above .500. The organization either grossly overestimated its talent or became too cocky. The result was that it was completely fooled by 2010 and completely unprepared for 2011. It made no significant offseason moves, and it ended up going 4-12.
This is the only paragraph I agree with. That’s exactly what happened. The message to management is to keep improving regardless of how good you think your team is because if you’re not getting better, you’re getting worse. Thank God we have a prophet like Tom Jones to tell us these words of wisdom that no one has ever uttered before ever.
Those in charge over at One Buc Place need to closely evaluate how this team plays against the big boys such as the Falcons, Broncos and Saints over the next few weeks. That way, even if the Bucs lose, recent bad history will not repeat itself.
Do you hear that, Mark Dominik? You need to closely evaluate this team. I know normally you do the groundskeeping work and check the hemlines on the cheerleader skirts, but could you do us all a favor and watch the upcoming games and make decisions based on what you see? Tom Jones seems to think it’s a good idea, so you better take it seriously.
Enjoy the game this week, people. Enjoy it even though Tom doesn’t want you to. Root for the Bucs extra hard because you know if they lose, Tom will get than smug smile on his face that says “told you so”. And even though we already know the Bucs are a brand new team that has already exceeded our expectations and a loss wouldn’t devastate us like he thinks it would, I want him to have to write something good. Even though, you know, it’s just the 9-1 Falcons.