REAR ENTRIES: Money, Monte & Mexicans
May 15, 2009 at 11:31am by Scott • 2 Comments »
HOW TO BE A SPORTS FRANCHISE OWNER: Here’s a little article from the Wall Street Journal on how various sports franchise owners acquired their wealth and teams, including Malcolm Glazer. So if you were always wanting to know how Glazer got rich and don’t know what Wikipedia is, there you go.
MONTE TEACHING VOLS WITH BUCS GAME FILM: It’s not a surprise since all the tape Monte Kiffin has made for the last 13 years has been with the Bucs, but he’s using his Tampa game film to instruct his current crop of Tennessee defensive players. For example, this safety
Branum talked to defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin “every two days” and even sat with him to break down film of Tampa Bay Buccaneers safety Sabbi Piscitelli and former Tampa Bay safety John Lynch.
“(Monte) really wants me to play like them,” said Branum, who had 35 tackles, eight pass break-ups and three interceptions this past season. “They want to use me inside the box and cover all the way out into the flats.
Time to change your shorts, Urban.
ARE THEY SURE THEY KNOW WHAT HISPANIC MEANS?: Jeff Garcia is a nominee for Best Football Player in a Tecate-sponsored award ceremony to honor Hispanic athletes. Seriously.
Nominees for the second edition of “Tecate Premios Deportes” (Tecate Sports Awards) were announced today. Nearly 60 Hispanic athletes from six sports categories are being considered for their sportsmanship, talent and character exemplified during 2008.
Okay, I get that his name is Garcia and that his Wikipedia page says he is technically of Mexican heritage, but come on. That’s like checking “American Indian” on the census just because you tan easily. Is there anybody on earth less Hispanic than this?
Why, yes there is.
Football Player of the Year:
1. Robert Garza, Chicago Bears
2. Tony Gonzalez, Kansas City Chiefs
3. Tony Romo, Dallas Cowboys
4. Jeff Garcia, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
5. Luis Castillo, San Diego Chargers
Tony Romo. Tony fucking Romo up for an award honoring Hispanics. BOOO!
Garza just attended his mother’s American citizenship ceremony. He qualifies as Hispanic. Castillo actually lived in the Dominican Republic as a child and he returns there every offseason. He qualifies. Gonzalez is on the edge. He is part African-American, Jamaican, Native American and Cape Verdean. The Cape Verde part is what Tecate is clinging to, but at least there’s no white in there. Plus he speaks Spanish, so he gets a pass. But Romo? Romo is from Wisconsin with his mother’s side being German and Polish, the mathematical opposite of Hispanic. Plus he looks like this:
There he is, folks. Tony Romo, all swarthy and just dripping with Latin sex appeal. Is that Gloria Trevi I hear in the background? Come on, Tecate, pick someone more worthy. I know albinos that aren’t as white as Romo. When you have the award for the pastiest quarterback to choke away a playoff game, give Romo a call. Although I guess that wouldn’t be a Tecate thing. That’s more of a Blatz award.