Josh Freeman

REAR ENTRIES: Fast And Furious

June 04, 2009 at 01:10am by Scott   •  6 Comments »

It’s late and I’m tired and grouchy, but there were actually a few interesting Bucs-related stories today, so I’m basically going to give it to you short and to the point and then leave. Like sex, except you might remember this for a few minutes after I’m done. And I can’t steal money out of your purse this way.

PITTMAN LOOKING FOR WORK: Drew Rosenhaus contacted the Bucs about maybe signing Michael Pittman to help with the fullback depth after Byron Storer got shoved onto IR. Jameel Cook is the backup fullback and a great special teams player, but Pittman is a more versatile player who could also provide a little depth at halfback, which isn’t really a Cook thing. If the Bucs had even nibbled, Rosenhaus would have been crowing about it like the cock he is, so I don’t think anything is going to come of it, but it would be nice to see Pittman, who was an excellent teammate while in Tampa, retire a Buc.

HOVAN GETTING MORE HAIR, WEIGHT: Chris Hovan is bulking up to a target weight of 310 to fit better into Jim Bates‘s scheme. He’s also growing his hair like he did in Minnesota. But the thing about this article that pisses me off most?

“I’m never going to be a guy that carries 330 pounds,” Hovan said Wednesday following the Bucs most recent “voluntary” workout. “But I can hold 305 pounds or 310 pounds and hold it well, and that’s what I’m trying to get to.”

The scarequotes around voluntary. I expect that kind of hack shit from Florio, but even though I almost never agree with Cummings, I never thought he’d resort to passive-aggressive bullshit like that. You wait, Cummings is on his way to being a regular contributor to Deadspin next.

LYNCH TO CALL BUCS GAMES: John Lynch will provide color to the Bucs’ preseason games this year alongside Chris Myers, who will provide play-by-play.

Okay, I’m done. I’ll try to keep something going on here and/or Twitter for the next couple days. And thanks to Joe who wrote the story about Arron Sears even though it was heartless and unfeeling towards one of my beloved Volunteers. The guy’s brain may be tapioca, but he’s worried about who’s going to play left guard. If this site is about anything, it’s compassion and caring. Toward Volunteers. All others can get fucked.

Behind Mahan? Hell, I don’t know, maybe my ex-girlfriend, if she’s lost a few pounds.

If she really needs to drop a size or two, all you have to do is open the stopper on her foot and let a few pounds of pressure out. Was yours named Sally, too? Why are they all named Sally?

6 Comments to “REAR ENTRIES: Fast And Furious”

Matt Price

Matt Price (June 04, 2009 at 10:26am:

Sally? Is that a Police reference? Very nice.


Louie (June 04, 2009 at 11:02am:

Joe’s inflatable girlfriend…LMAO!!!

Cummings is another one of those Tribune hacks. I wish these guys could just objectively report the damn news. The OTA’s are volunatary, but due to the coaching turnover, it’s in the player’s best interest to be there to learn the new system. It’s like any other job — if you need to learn a new skill (system), you better learn it or risk being replaced. I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if some players are cut simply because they don’t perform as well as those who attended these OTA’s. Nobody seems to be reporting on this viewpoint.

Wordy Sanchez

wordy_sanchez (June 04, 2009 at 02:03pm:

Cummings… this would be the guy who doesn’t even bother w/ the scarequotes around “bust” when he talks about Gaines Adams.

Slow Joe

Slow Joe (June 04, 2009 at 02:41pm:

Actually, I’d change her name from Dominating Diana to Submissive Sally, depending on my mood.

I’m thinking of getting rid of her entirely and finally moving on to having an adult sex life. That’s right: I think I’ll get a realdoll.


LostInSeattle (June 05, 2009 at 04:08am:

Hovan is bulking up to stop the run, but one of our main problems last year was getting pressure on the opponents QB. Our sack totals took a nosedive badly and we need some movement up front.

Wordy Sanchez

wordy_sanchez (June 05, 2009 at 11:59am:

Hey Lost, I’m marooned in Seattle too (from Orlando), good to see you here. WRT, Hovan and DTs… Bates doesn’t tend to use DTs to pressure QB. He has a traditional approach of plugging the middle and using his ends with some LB (and possibly CB blitzes). It was Monte’s thing to make DTs big sack guys (ahem). S’why Sapp stands out, cause for a while there his sack totals where up there w/ speed rushing DEs which was considered an amazing feat.

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