Josh Freeman

Ronde Not Being Traded? Do Tell!

August 24, 2010 at 12:12pm by Scott   •  7 Comments »

I don't think she can take anymore, Captain!
Ira Kaufman discusses trading Ronde Barber to the Ravens as if it was a real possibility. As if there was some news or a tip or a lead somewhere and he is following up on it. He’s not. There’s nothing. This is all just shit Ira is making up in his big, huge mongoloid head.

Ronde Barber says he’s not interested.

A statement like this is usually followed by the quote it came from. This isn’t. This blurb is the only thing that resembles a source, and it’s not quoted.

Tampa Bay’s veteran cornerback could help Baltimore’s depleted secondary, but Barber hasn’t changed his mind—he wants to end his career in a Buccaneer jersey.

“I would like to finish my career in Tampa,” Barber did not say because it sounds like Ira just screamed a question to Barber as he was leaving the practice field.

IRA: “RONDE! DO YOU WANT TO BE TRADED TO BALTIMORE?!?”

RONDE: *cocks head* *looks confused* *shakes head* *walks away*

That’s how that went.

The Ravens are poised to contend for an AFC title, but a flurry of injuries in the secondary has Baltimore officials on the prowl for help. Barber, 35, hasn’t played in a 3-4 defense, but his savvy and big-play ability could bolster Ray Lewis and the rest of Baltimore’s formidable unit.

I’m not saying Ronde couldn’t help the Ravens; he probably could. But would he really want to step into a completely different system after 13 years doing essentially the same thing and getting really good at it? Lots of teams need secondary help and would be a better fit for him.

Even if the Ravens become desperate and offer a third-round pick, it’s unlikely Barber would depart Tampa.

No one is trading a third-round pick for Ronde. Again, this is just something Ira is making up as he goes along so he gets his word count up for the week.

Unless Barber changes his mind and decides to chase a second Super Bowl ring in Baltimore, he’ll finish his NFL career where it all began.

So this thing that he pulled out of his ass isn’t really happening? No quotes, no sources, not even the courtesy of a “league official”. He makes it up and then he debunks it and looks like an insider. Well, I am going to be the first to report that the Bucs are not going to cut Josh Freeman. He is injured and the team could use the roster spot, but they’re going to stick with him. Josh looked relieved when I yelled it to him as he was driving away yesterday. He might have just farted right then, but I think it was relief from the good news that I gave him.

Are all you readers out there enjoying your jobs right now? You know, the jobs you have where you don’t get to make shit up on the fly and call it work?

7 Comments to “Ronde Not Being Traded? Do Tell!”

CharlieB

CharlieB (August 24, 2010 at 01:16pm:

Speaking of Bullshit, Roy Cummings on 770 AM floated the idea of a trade of Albert Haynesworth and Michael Clayton as something that “might happen.” I thought of you.

Scott

Scott (August 24, 2010 at 01:26pm:

I saw that after I had already written this piece or I might have done it instead. I don’t want to cover both because they basically have the same theme: Tampa sports writers eat hairy balls. At the very least Cummings kind of gives the impression that this is just his speculation, but he still doesn’t make it clear enough. Haynesworth is not a 4-3 DE, he is a 4-3 DT which the Bucs have plenty of depth at. Why would the Bucs want that fucking mess at that outrageous price at a position where they don’t need him? But the radio station gave that theory airtime and JBF transcribed it and PFT picked it up and we’re all talking about it so it worked and Roy Cummings is marginally more famous now. The only good to come of that is that he’s that much more likely to pick up a dangerous stalker who wants to wear his skin.

Wordy Sanchez

Wordy Sanchez (August 24, 2010 at 04:47pm:

Only thing Roy is likely to be picking up anytime soon is probably strolling Nebraska Ave right now.

Matt Price

Matt Price (August 24, 2010 at 05:01pm:

Nice scoop Scott on the Bucs not cutting Freeman. My sources (the voices in my head) told me that they won’t cut Caddy or Mike Williams either, that they won’t fire Radio until the 2011 season is clarified, and they will not hire hookers to work the parking lot at the stadium for free.

Who knew journalism could be so easy?

Wordy Sanchez

Wordy Sanchez (August 25, 2010 at 05:18am:

This is the kind of BS that gets put up during slow news cycles. “Breaking news: Nothing happening!”

Its like the headline: “Kurt Warner not coming out of retirement!”

Its non-news.

Slow Joe

Slow Joe (August 25, 2010 at 10:13pm:

@Wordy: …or “Joe Simmons Still Not Employed!”

That’s me, by the way.

Does anyone ever click on my fucking name to see my comedy page?

Wordy Sanchez

Wordy Sanchez (August 25, 2010 at 11:33pm:

That was a comedy page? Er–, I mean, hahahahahahahahahaha. Oh man, whooooo. Funny funny stuff.

:p

Comment on this post:

You must be logged in to post a comment.