Josh Freeman

Jenny Jenny Has Got Your Numbers

October 22, 2010 at 11:42am by Scott   •  13 Comments »

I don’t know who Jenny Dell is, but this is one of the worst “preview” segments I’ve ever seen. If Steven Jackson runs for 4.5 YPC, the Rams have a 65% chance of winning? I have a diploma from an actual accredited university stating officially how much I like mathematics, and this shit she’s spouting is too much even for me. Who came up with this?

Freeman has a 41% chance of no interceptions, Bradford, 36% chance. If Bradford has no interceptions, St. Louis is a 57% favorite. But if Tampa Bay forces at least two Bradford interceptions, then the Bucs are the 76% favorite.”

It’s awful. Is it because IBM is the sponsor that ESPN feels they have to make some smart-sounding segment to pair them with? Because I’m sure IBM would have no problem attaching their name to something less quasi-brainy and more, you know, good. And you’d think they’d object to the host of the segment being named “Dell”.

She’s not even that nice to look at. Stacey Dales is ten times hotter and actually enjoy sports as opposed to Dell who would show the same enthusiasm reading traffic reports in Hoboken. A recent anonymous survey of one person showed that men would rather fuck Stacey Dales after she has been dead for an hour than Dell as shown in this segment. I don’t even know why I posted this entry. Probably just to get that Tommy Tutone song stuck in your head for the weekend. You’re welcome.

13 Comments to “Jenny Jenny Has Got Your Numbers”

Louie

Louie (October 22, 2010 at 12:26pm:

I don’t need IBM or Jenny to tell me who’s going to win this week.

As far as I’m concerned, the Bucs have a 100% chance of beating the Rams, because 1) the Rams suck on the road and 2) we sucked so bad last week that we’re due for a big rebound (like the Cincy game after the Pittsburgh debacle).

If the Bucs don’t win this game, I’m going to pull a Junior Seau (not the suicide thing, the beating thing…with the dog)! BTW, my dog just became a huge Bucs fan.

Slow Joe

Slow Joe (October 22, 2010 at 04:14pm:

While I’ll grant you that most of the info from that clip is absolutely useless, I disagree on her fuckability. I think she’s hot. I don’t know who Stacey Dales is, but I doubt I’d prefer to fuck her dead corpse over Jenny. I gave up necrophilia months ago.

Slow Joe

Slow Joe (October 22, 2010 at 04:15pm:

And fuck you for putting that song in my head.

CharlieB

CharlieB (October 22, 2010 at 05:35pm:

The statistics she uses are based on AccuScore simulations. It takes data for the year so far to make predictions. It has legitimate statistical backing. On the other hand, if stats other than number of wins were anything more than talking points, San Diego would be undefeated.

Sander

Sander (October 22, 2010 at 06:08pm:

That the statistics are ‘valid’ (to a point, of course, nothing can predict the NFL perfectly) doesn’t mean that the stats and ‘analysis’ cited are useful because they aren’t distinguishing between correlation and causation.

Besides, they always say the most blindingly obvious stuff like “If Team A doesn’t turn the ball over, they’re likely going to win!” Duh.

Slow Joe

Slow Joe (October 23, 2010 at 12:17am:

Okay, Stacey Dales is hotter. It’s kind of a toss-up between a live Jenny or a dead Stacey, depending on how much I value breathing and movement.

I was going to post something useful here, but Sander said it better than I could. The reason the data are useless to me is because I can’t know before the game if Steven Jackson is going to average 4.5 yards a carry or if Josh Freeman is going to go interception-free. As Sander said so well, it’s not clear what the numbers mean: causation or correlation?

TheBrainStem

TheBrainStem (October 23, 2010 at 08:08am:

Stacy Dales is way hotter even though that is a bad picture. You want to tell the person who wrote that segment that this isn’t baseball. Advanced statistics don’t mean shit in football. It has too many varible to draw a conclusion base on event during the game. It sucks when ESPN spews shit like this out because there is no fucking way people care about those percentages unless you are betting props in Vegas.

TheBrainStem

TheBrainStem (October 23, 2010 at 08:09am:

@Scott do any of the software you use for this site have a thing for creating polls?

Scott

Scott (October 23, 2010 at 12:23pm:

I’m sure I could scrounge one up. They even have free web-based ones that are platform neutral. Do you have an opinion that an only be expressed by checking one of several enumerated boxes?

TheBrainStem

TheBrainStem (October 23, 2010 at 12:37pm:

There are a few. A weekly poll would be kinda neat. Bucs related like: How many yards will Stephen Jackson rush for? A. under 80-90 B. 90-100 C. +100

Non- buc related Whos the hottest lady on the NFLN? A. Stacy Dales B. Kara Henderson C. Lindsay Soto D. Alex Flannagan

IMO Alex Flanagan is pretty fucking ugly

Slow Joe

Slow Joe (October 23, 2010 at 01:06pm:

Alex Flanagan was smoking hot back in the day; I guess she hasn’t aged well. I don’t get NFLN. That was her that did sideline reporting* when the Lightning won the Cup, right? Her and that other hot chick.

*I know hockey doesn’t have “sidelines”, but I had no fucking clue what else to call her.

Slow Joe

Slow Joe (October 23, 2010 at 01:08pm:

Steven Jackson, I hate to say, will go for 150 against us. Three straight backs have raped us, including Chris Ivory, for Christ’s sake. Jackson is superior to them all.

Comment on this post:

You must be logged in to post a comment.