REAR ENTRIES: Catching Up
October 25, 2010 at 02:41pm by Scott • 17 Comments »
JERRAMY STEVENS ARRESTED: Jerramy Stevens was arrested Saturday night with possession of marijuana (w/intent to sell), plain old possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia. When I first read the headline that he had been caught with enough pot to get charged for intent to sell, I assumed he had a trunk full of tightly-packed bricks of weed and was pissed that a guy who make the money he makes would jeopardize his football career by taking on the slightly-less risky and far more profitable job of drug dealer. Then I actually read the whole story.
A Tampa police officer stopped Stevens’ 2006 Ford pickup shortly after 7 p.m. at North Westshore Boulevard and West Cypress Street after hearing loud music coming from the truck, according to a Tampa Police Department news release. After smelling marijuana coming from inside, the officer searched the truck and found 38 grams of marijuana.
A whopping 38 grams. That’s about an ounce and a half. I don’t know how much it takes to make a joint (I’m so cool!), but I know that an ounce and a half of just about anything isn’t enough to sell. And did the cops really pull him over for playing loud music? Who was the cop, Mr. Wilson from Dennis the Menace? As a citizen, I think Stevens is kind of getting shafted. But as a Tampa Bay Buccaneer, fuck him. I’ve defended Stevens for years because I believe in redemption stories, but you have to, you know, keep it up. You don’t get to fuck up again every couple years. Plus, as someone who has had trouble before, you just know he was in line for a drug test sooner or later. I think they’ve pretty much figured out how to tell if you’ve been smoking pot. So he either didn’t care about how his suspension would affect the team or he was too dumb to think he’d get caught. Either way, I’m done.
JERRAMY STEVENS RELEASED: It’s the equivalent of a “bang-bang” play for personnel men. Jerramy Stevens was arrested Saturday night before game day and released Monday morning. The only way it would have been done faster is if Mark Dominik had personally bailed him out of jail and written “You are cut” in the memo line of the check. Ryan Purvis was promoted from the practice squad to take his place.
ONE LAST STEVENS ANGLE: Mike Florio brings up the possibility that Stevens was bringing that much pot with him so he could smoke it with some other players at the team hotel.
So with Bucs tight end Jerramy Stevens arrested at 7:12 p.m. ET the night before a home game with enough marijuana in his possession to result in an alleged presumption that he intended to sell it, we see only two possible interpretations of the facts.
First, Stevens was trying to move the marijuana in the hopes of earning some extra money before reporting to the team hotel for the night (which, frankly, given his history wouldn’t be the dumbest thing he ever has done).
Second, Stevens planned to take the marijuana to the team hotel, to be smoked or distributed there.
We’re not reporting anything on this. We’re just identifying the two possibilities based on the known facts.
Florio has less imagination than that guy who draws stick figure caricatures at the boardwalk. Stevens couldn’t just be really high most of the time and forgets to take his stash out of the car? Maybe that’s where he keeps it. Or maybe he was just coming back from buying it. Florio loves setting up false dichotomies to make it seem like he knows all the possibilities. But that’s the thing about the word “possibilities”. Lots of things are possible. Hell, Stevens’s situation could have been a version of this:
MICHAEL CLAYTON FINDS WORK: Since Michael Clayton had been given a huge bonus check last season, he had the luxury of being able to wait around for just the right offer to come along. And, sure enough, it finally happened. After nearly two months of waiting, Clayton signed with his dream team, the Omaha Nighthawks of the UFL.
There, Clayton will re-join former Bucs quarterback Jeff Garcia and coach Jeff Jagodzinski, who had a brief stint as Tampa Bay’s offensive coordinator.
Garcia, Clayton and Jagz? Aren’t there rules against a UFL team assembling such an elite group of players? Kind of like antitrust law or something? If not, look out UFL. Garcia came this close to beating the Joes in a Pros vs Joes match (but didn’t — the Joes actually won), Clayton can block the hell out of a defensive back, and the entire Jagz playbook fits on one of those forearm cheat sheets. Look out, Omaha — your steaks won’t be the only things that sizzle.
“I like where we are,” Morris said. “We’re 4-2. We’re the best team in the NFC. Yeah, I said it. We’re excited.”
Okay, forget that the Bucs just lost bad to the Saints last week. And forget that the Giants and the Seahawks are also 5-2. And forget that exactly half of the NFC has four wins right now, including the Bucs. I’m just happy Raheem is in a position to be able to make such a claim and that it even has a molecule of credibility. If the Bucs were 1-5 and he was saying that his team was the best 1-5 team in the league, we’d all tear him apart. But when you’re 4-2, you can get away with stuff like this.
“We easily went out there and put together one of the worst first halves of my tenure. If you want to add the Saints game, you could say six quarters. But this team plays 60 minutes. There’s no doubt about that.”
Someone tell Raheem that the Saints game also clocked in at 60 minutes. Come on, you can’t lob me these softballs and expect me not to swing.