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Posts Tagged ‘devin hester’

REAR ENTRIES: Time For A Little Strajiddy

October 21, 2011 at 10:09am by Scott   •  11 Comments »

Rear Entry 98

(HT Bugs Bunny)

LEGARRETTE BLOUNT STILL OUT: Earnest Graham should get the start again since LeGarrette Blount didn’t practice at all this week. Something I didn’t mention but should have is the signing of Chad Spann, a rookie running back who went undrafted out of Northern Illinois. I’m not sure what this says about Mossis Madu, but it’s not good. Madu looked decent in the preseason, but evidently not good enough for games that count. Spann is on the active roster and considering the depth at the position, may actually be active for the game. Spann is listed at 5-8, 202 and runs about a 4.5 40. I’m sure he has other characteristics as well, but they don’t mean as much to me right now.

INJURY UPDATES: Mason Foster and Michael Bennett returned to practice today after sitting out with some injuries earlier in the week. The Bucs’ site says there’s “reason for optimism” concerning their availability for the game, so they’re in. Gerald McCoy is did not practice this morning and is said to be a “game time decision”. Sammie Stroughter will probably not play this Sunday. Kellen Winslow practiced yesterday, but the Times felt the need to list that fact like this:

TE Kellen Winslow (chronically sore right knee) also practiced.

Asses.

GUESS WHO THE BUCS WON’T KICK TO: In a strategy straight out of Sun Tsu’s mouth, Raheem Morris has revealed a key to winning Sunday’s game: Keep the ball out of their best player’s hands. Try not to pass out from overgasping.

Coach Raheem Morris said he hopes punter Michael Koenen can knock the ball out of bounds and boom kickoffs through the end zone to avoid the Bears record holder.

Devin Hester set the NFL mark with his 17th kick return for a touchdown last week.

I’d like to remind everyone that this is only Hester’s sixth season. And he spent at least one season not returning kicks because the brain trust in Chicago wanted to “save him” for the offense. You know those records people say will never be broken? At the end of his career, we’ll be saying that about the number of kicks/punts he returned for touchdowns. So yeah, don’t kick to him.

“No. Devin Hester will have to go against our Pro Bowler, hopefully, our Pro Bowler, a grass skirt guy if we can get him into one, in Michael Keonen,” Morris said.

I stared at that for about 20 seconds before I realized what Morris was saying when he called Koenen a “grass skirt guy”. In the context of the whole quote, it makes sense even though it’s awkward, so I’ll let it go. Too bad. It’s been a while since we’ve had a real quality Raheemism. Some reporter out there needs to mention underwear in a press conference question and see where he goes with it. He may just need a push.

Rear Entries: June, Jones & Moffitt (Not A Hawaii Law Firm)

October 10, 2008 at 01:38pm by Scott   •  4 Comments »

Welcome to Rear Entries, Kevin Walter.  Now hold still.
I know I’ve derided the “Round up”-type posts in the past, but the fact is that there are some items that really just don’t deserve their own entry and putting the full-entry effort into them would be a real, measurable waste of time. So I’ll go ahead and use them and just face the ridicule when I’m done, kind of like when I visit that midget hooker on 14th Street.

I was trying to think of a clever name for them. At first I thought of “entrylets”, like baby entries, but that sounded abnormally gay. “Entrylings” wasn’t much better, but I liked the obscure tie-in to Myq Kaplan‘s joke about how because small ducks are called ducklings that it prevents him from ever ordering dumplings in a restaurant. Funny, right? But still gay sounding. Anyway I thought that since these aren’t very important entries, that they can come through the back door. So now they’re “rear entries”, which has the bonus of vaguely reminding us of anal sex. Everyone wins!

CATO JUNE IS HAVING A BUSY YEAR: The Ft. Myers News-Press has a nice write-up on Cato June. He’s not getting the kind of attention he got in Indianapolis, but he’s been consistent and come up big in key situations this season. Did you know June got married this summer? He’s registered at Tiffany’s in case you were wanting to buy a rich athlete that you don’t know something nice.

MOFFITT IS LIVING THE DREAM: As a USF alum, Ben Moffitt had a lot of fans in Tampa during the draft who were disappointed when the Bucs passed him by. Now he’s with the Buc practice squad and seems pretty happy about it. It’s a smart move since Barrett Ruud is not quite 100%.

MARK JONES IS A PANTHER?: Did you know former Buccaneer return guy Mark Jones is with Carolina now? I didn’t. Or maybe I did and I forgot? Anyway, for those keeping score at home, Jones has a punt return average of 10.2 yards. Dexter Jackson‘s is 4.5 yards. Jackson has the lowest punt return average in the league of players who have returned at least five punts. To be fair, though, Devin Hester is second-worst with 5.4 yards per return this year.