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Posts Tagged ‘marlana aref’

Dominik Confirms Raheem/Olson To Return

January 06, 2011 at 01:36pm by Scott   •  1 Comment »

Not that Mark Dominik is a bad looking guy, but enough is enough.
It’s not surprising in the least considering the success of the 2010 season, but Mark Dominik confirmed on the PFT Live show that Raheem Morris and Greg Olson will indeed be back for the 2011 season.

“We have to have multiple game plans set up depending on labor negotiations,” said Dominik. “ I spent time this morning with continuity on our coaching staff and we’ll have both Raheem Morris and Greg Olson calling plays for us next year with the same offensive and defensive systems.”

It’s just good to hear it from an official source. No mention of their assistant coaches, but Raheem did say the other day that he wanted to keep the band together.

“When you have success you want to keep things as close to the same as you can and go to war with the same soldiers,” Morris said Monday when asked about his plans for his staff. “So we have to go see and do some things.”

“As close to the same as you can” may indicate that he’s not sure if all of them will be back, but I haven’t heard anything about any of the assistants getting hired by a school anywhere yet, so Dominik may have talked with them and told them that they’ll get to the table soon and to hang tight. Or he could just be fucking with them. You know those haughty executive-types.

One thing is for sure. If this shit with Jim Harbaugh getting $7-million+ to coach actually happens, no one can possibly use the CBA situation as an excuse to not re-sign their coaches. Also, Raheem may start looking at his paycheck a little cockeyed it hits him that he, who predicted the future with a ten-win season, is making roughly one-seventh of a rookie NFL head coach.

Making Cheerleaders Scream

November 03, 2010 at 10:55am by Scott   •  1 Comment »

Cheerleaders with their mouths wide open and I don't care what their names are.
This story is almost three weeks old, but when it’s a story about cheerleaders getting grabbed in the dark, there’s really no bad time to post it. Several of the Bucs cheerleaders visited the Howl-O-Scream exhibit at Busch Gardens in the middle of October and ran around screaming like scared little girls.

During their heart pounding evening at the nationally ranked event, the cheerleaders toured the brand-new My X: Revenge Rocks and returning fan favorite Delta Epsilon Delta: Extreme Rush (DEDer) haunted houses and experienced fanatical terror first-hand in the new Xtreme Fanatics scare zone.

I tried to get a job at this thing when I was in Tampa a couple months ago, but I never got a call back. The only question the boss guy asked me was, “Why do you want to work at Howl-O-Scream?” and I answered that I really liked running around public places half-clothes and anonymously grabbing hot chicks’ tits and asses in the dark. What, was I too real for you, Mr. Fancy Pants?

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All The Cheerleaders You Can Shake Your Stick At

October 08, 2010 at 01:27pm by Scott   •  4 Comments »

Marlana Aref. I'm going to have to find a new cheerleader for avatars -- this Marlana thing may be turning creepy.

A couple days ago, a reader sent me a link to an article about the top five hottest cheerleading squads in the NFL, with the Buccaneers cheerleaders being number one. I can’t find the email now and I’m looking for the article online, but all I can find is one from January and I thought this was more recent. So, sorry dude — feel free to mail me the link again and I’ll add it to this post.

But since I was all geared up (read: visibly aroused) for a cheerleader post, here are some other links to help out. First, the Bucs posted the cheerleader photos from their first two home games: Browns, Steelers. These photos should serve to remind you that cheerleaders are the best people on earth.

Bleacher Report is a decent combination of good writing and borderline sleaze, with a good number of “hottest cheerleader”-type lists from week to week. They did a 50 Hottest Cheerleaders of 2010 thing in August and a few Bucs girls made it in. I’ve already posted all the photos they used on there except this one of Nina Stauffer on a trampoline wearing the standard cheerleader top and something less than the standard cheerleader bottoms. Why are women’s shoes not sold with tiny trampolines in them?

They also did the top five cheerleader calendars last month and the Bucs made it to #3. The Eagles were the top squad. I swear, the Eagles cheerleaders must be the only thing keeping the collective will of the rest of the nation from wishing that entire city into the middle of the Atlantic.

And finally, in case you’re not completely raw yet, here’s a small video piece a few of the Bucs cheerleaders did for the local Tampa Fox affiliate. Enjoy your weekend.

Pat Is Definitely Dispensable

August 27, 2010 at 11:05am by Scott   •  15 Comments »

Marlana Aref
Pat Yasinskas stuck his finger in his ass and smeared this fucking awful thing about the NFC South’s most “indispensable players” on ESPN yesterday [HT reader Mark. Or Mike. I think Mark; I don't have the email in front of me. Let's call him Mark-Mike.] Here is his criteria for how he made all this up:

My basic rule of thumb on this one was to close my eyes and try to picture each team without certain key players. From there, I tried to gauge the impact on the team if each of those players was lost to injury — or anything else.

In some cases, the answer was blatantly obvious. In others, I went with a player who might not be the best on the team, but his role and the depth situation behind him might have vaulted him over another player. In another case, I went with a player I’m not convinced is anything special, but chose him just because of the importance of his position.

Everyone except the quarterback is eligible. Go ahead and guess if he had nice things to say about any of the Bucs.

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS: DONALD PENN

Penn’s the guy I’m not sure is all that great.

He stated above that Penn is only the most indispensable player because he’s the left tackle. If the Bucs were playing a sock puppet at left tackle, it would be just as indispensable as Penn. What a fucking load.

But his importance was demonstrated right at the start of training camp when the Bucs broke down and gave Penn the huge contract he’d been seeking for months. The thought of putting quarterback Josh Freeman out there — even on the practice field — without a legitimate left tackle was just too frightening.

He’s not even trying. The Glazers thought Penn was important enough to pay, so that’s good enough for Pat. Why even write the article?

For better or worse, Freeman is the franchise in Tampa Bay.

That’s a knock on Freeman, by the way, who is a truly indispensable player. “For better or worse”? Everyone who has been keeping up with the Buccaneers has bought into Freeman’s work ethic and ability and leadership. Everyone except Pat. He can’t even give them that little bit. “Freeman is the franchise in Tampa Bay” would have been sufficient, but no. He had to include “for better or worse”. Is he still not happy with that draft pick from 16 months ago? Because I’m pretty sure they’re going to keep him.

At the very least, Penn’s a decent left tackle. That means Freeman has a shot at staying upright and the Buccaneers have a shot at digging themselves out of a 3-13 hole.

I don’t expect him to show any favoritism toward the Bucs, but doesn’t his article sound like he wishes he could be doing anything except writing about them? “Decent”, “have a shot”… no enthusiasm for his work or this team. I’ve read mattress tags that were more exciting than this.

Besides, was there really another candidate for indispensable on Tampa Bay’s current roster?

Oh, fuck you sideways, you goat. This should have been an easy assignment because the Bucs have such thin depth at some positions. Can you imagine if Jeff Faine went out? Would the Bucs really put Jeremy Zuttah in to replace him? You’ve seen him in the preseason — he’s awful. And he’s also have to help Freeman make the line calls? Or how about Kellen Winslow? Freeman needs someone he trusts as his go-to guy. Is a rookie like Mike Williams really ready to take over that responsibility? Imagine if Connor Barth was lost for the season. Any kicker that is currently available in free agency is terrible, and the Bucs need to be able to convert field goals. He’s dependable and that seems pretty indispensable to me for a team that is going to need every point it can get for a while.

So basically, Pat doesn’t really think anyone on the Bucs is worth a shit, not even the franchise quarterback. They’re all replaceable. I always want the Bucs to win, but this season I’m especially looking forward to them winning early and watching all the media-types who are shouting them down now to start backpedaling and dishing out praise to players whose names they didn’t even know a month ago.

Countryside Cougar Back On Roster

August 06, 2010 at 01:24pm by Scott   •  1 Comment »

Marlana Aref
According to Rick Stroud on Twitter, the Bucs have re-signed Darrell Pasco after waiving him a while back.

Bucs sign CB Darrell Pasco and waive S Matt O’Hanlon injured.

I hadn’t heard about O’Hanlon’s injury, but I suspect the people I talk to weren’t exactly keeping an eye out for him. Pasco, for anyone I went to school with who happens to read this, is a Countryside High alum who grew up in Clearwater. I guess no one ever bothered to take a decent picture of the kid because I can’t find one anywhere, so here’s Marlana Aref and her incredible cleavage handing out popsicles at camp.

Marlana Aref Is Popular, Stacked

July 09, 2010 at 09:52pm by Scott   •  5 Comments »

Marlana Aref

SPORTSbyBROOKS thinks they’re SOOO clever for having finally found Marlana Aref. Pffft. Check out who gets the #1 link in a Google search for her name. Who loves ya, baby!

SbB actually helped me out quite a bit because the Google searches for Marlana’s name were through the roof. And not just her name, either. “marlana aref topless”, “marlana aref naked”, “marlana aref nude” and “marlana aref desnuda” were all big winners in the keyphrase lottery as well. I got all those clicks. You noticed that last one, eh? Yeah, some Spanish-speaking web site caught onto the SbB post and did their own, so I got the traffic from their visitors who needed more Marlana, too. Because I am a horrible racist and refuse to learn any other language (I won’t even order tacos by name), I ran their post through Google Translate to see if they were in any way disparaging this beautiful angel. It was all pretty innocuous, except for the following:

Is it the sexiest cheerleader? That’s going to taste …

I know that’s a muddled translation, but I don’t care. I just enjoy Marlana’s name and the word “taste” in the same sentence.

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Local Hero Designs Cheerleader Swimsuits

May 21, 2010 at 11:55am by Scott   •  1 Comment »

Tiffany Jimenez
I know most of you didn’t bother reading the words in the post about the cheerleading calendar video, but if you had you’d know that each swimsuit featured was custom made for each girl. When I die, I want to come back as that designer’s measuring tape.

And now, thanks to Cloe Cabrera of the Tribune, we know who that person is. St. Petersburg designer Essence Flowers was hired to create the swimsuits featured in the calendar. She interviewed each girl, got a feel for their personality, and created water-repellent magic.

“Some of the girls are sexier than others,” Flowers said. “And some of them wanted to be a little more covered up. I got a feel for what they wanted, and that’s what I tried to do. They were easy (to design for) because they’re all in shape.”

I’m not sure what qualifies as “a little more covered up”, but most of these girls are showing a lot of skin. Maybe Cynthia Bastos‘s suit is kind of modest, which is fine because it’s totally counterbalanced by something like the following:

One of Flowers’ favorite suits, worn by veteran cheerleader Jennifer Summers, is a throw-back-inspired, two-piece with an orange corseted top featuring the number 12 (Doug Williams‘ old number) and the orange and red Bucco Bruce holding a knife in his mouth.

That would be this one:

Jennifer Summers

Think of the brilliance and genius it takes to combine a corset and a swimsuit into into the peanut butter cup of awesome you see above. Flowers needs to work for the space program or cancer research or something. But just for a little while. With her brain, she should be able to knock out their big challenges in about a month or so. Then get back to combining sexy things and swimsuits to make even sexier things. A babydoll made of Spandex sounds impossible, but I bet she can do it.

When this calendar finally comes out, I expect each of you to buy a fucking copy. Put it on your wall, throw it away, drill a hole through the middle of it and have sex with it, I don’t care. Fucking buy one. The Bucs have been more than generous with these behind-the-scenes pics. It would be easy to make the economic decision to just yank it to these pics and spend your money on something else. But then, see, they won’t do the same thing next year and we’ll be stuck with only the 12-15 shots they give us in the calendar itself. You digging me? But that won’t be for a while, so feel free to abuse yourselves to these lovely pictures in the meantime free of charge.

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UPDATED: Don’t Bother Clicking, You Know The Rules

May 11, 2010 at 11:25pm by Scott   •  8 Comments »

Marlana Aref

We’re taking a brief break from All Clicky Week since the Buccaneers just released some behind the scenes shots of the cheerleader calendar shoot through their Twitpic feed. The pictures look promising, but the bar is pretty low after last year’s confusing and unflattering mess. Most of these look like actual bikinis you’d want to see on the beach and not awkwardly wrapped bandages like you’d see on burn victims. I’ll keep my eyes out for more photos — usually when the final selections are made they post some to their web site. I’ll be back with our regularly scheduled filth tomorrow.

UPDATE: I guess the Bucs weren’t done sending out these pictures, because a new one just popped up this morning. Know what else just popped up? Ahhh, that’s too easy. Anyway, I’ll keep adding the new photos to this post, so check back now and then. The next one probably won’t be up for a few minutes, so you have a little time to run out and get more lotion.

You know what else is weird? I don’t recognize some of these cheerleaders’ names. Either they got married in the last couple months or there has been some turnover in the squad, but some of these chicks definitely weren’t listed on the roster they released when the competition was over. I promise to do as much cyberstalking as is necessary to crack this case.

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You Know What’s Great? Chicks In Short Shorts.

April 09, 2010 at 12:06pm by Scott   •  3 Comments »

Marlana Aref
Well, it’s done. All the dancing to songs they don’t know and answering of inane questions and parading almost naked in front of camera is over and Cathy Boyd has come up with the 30 girls that will make up the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Cheerleaders for the 2010 season. In this video (criminally not hosted by Rachel Watson), Cathy explains the process of cutting down to 30 girls and then the splendid multimedia crew displays each girl close-up with their name and a few seconds of them twirling and thrusting and gyrating. They got my letters! There will be better shots of them in the coming months (it took forever last year), but this is pretty good for now.

Lots of veterans made it back, including Tiffany Jimenez, Meagan Pravden and Marlana Aref, who has far too many words covering her already-not-revealing-enough top. We already know her name. Several of the rookies look promising as well, but they’re all beautiful angels for dressing skimpy and jumping up and down for my pleasure. After the jump is every girl’s picture from the video. I think this will be the last entry of the day. Even if something big happens, it would be too much of a shame to bump this off the top of the page for the weekend.

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Second Cheerleader Tryout Video Is Up

April 01, 2010 at 01:38pm by Scott   •  No Comments »

The next video of the Buccaneers cheerleader tryouts is posted on Buccaneers.com, again hosted by Rachel Watson who looks like this:

Rachel Watson

This video is almost ten minutes long, so be sure your boss is distracted for a while before you turn it on; send him the Trololo Cat video in email — that should last him a while. The cheerleader video covers the semi-finals this time, which is where the veterans come back and compete against the rookies. Veterans I saw in the video who are trying to get on the squad again: Tiffany Jimenez, Meagan Pravden, Marlana Aref, Jennifer Summers, Tomoko Kojima, Tramane Shuler and a couple others who I can’t remember without looking at the video again. Which I will. Household tip: Use a warm, damp cloth to get tongueprints off your monitor.

And speaking of veterans, any veteran cheerleader who has been with the squad for four or more years will not be allowed to tryout again after this season. Cathy Boyd has put a five year cap on how long a girl can cheer, regardless of how awesome she is or how big a rack she has. Can you believe this shit? I mean, don’t get me wrong — I’m a fan of any regulation that keeps the average age of chicks that are seen in public down to an acceptably sexy range. A number that, say, I have to use almost all of my fingers and toes to count, but not much else. But when we’re talking about age-defying cheerleaders, that number could go as high as 28 or so — several years beyond when Cathy thinks they’re past their prime. All this means that this is the last year we’ll see Tiffany, Jennifer, Tomoko and Sahara Sears. Tiffany explains how sad she is about this…

Okay, so I wasn’t listening. It doesn’t matter what she says, you can see the pain in her eyes.

Tiffany Jimenez

Oh, these new girls Cathy is bringing in had better be outstanding if she’s letting quality ass like this walk out the door. Remember Sahara’s many calendar shoots?

Sahara Sears

I wonder if Cathy is going to change the calendars around, too. Maybe put the girls in some poodle skirts or Amish garb. SOME THINGS ARE GOOD THE WAY THEY ARE! Ah well, at least Meagan is back. No chance she doesn’t make the team.

Meagan Pravden

Whenever she’s on camera, she owns it, period. Cathy and that other dude they have judging have no excuse not to bring her back. What other dude, you ask? This dude:

I don't know you, but I know I hate you.

Somehow this guy got the gig of sitting in a chair and letting wave after wave of hot girls with numbers pinned to their chests dance for him. They smile at him and laugh at his stupid jokes and twirl their hair all in an effort to impress… him. Who the fuck is this guy and what credentials does he have that are any better than mine?

DeMario Henry made his debut as a choreographer with the 2002 Gospel Stellar Awards in Houston. He has also opened for leading artists in the industry including, Fantasia, Ja Rule, Brian McKnight, and Michelle Williams from Destiny’s Child.

Ahh, well then. I guess I’ll just shut my big yap. But the Bucs should know that if anything unfortunate should befall this guy (brake lines don’t last forever), I am available for the swimsuit and talent competitions — as long as the talent is the ability to remove their swimsuits in five seconds or less.