Bucs Practiced At Tropicana Field Today

September 09, 2010 at 02:10pm by Scott   •  8 Comments »

Evidently, Raheem Morris decided that his team has had enough of “90 and sunny” because the Bucs held practice at Tropicana Field today under the sweet, sweet blanket of air conditioning.

“You want to embrace the heat, you just don’t want it to be a factor on your body.”

Raheem came up with the idea last night and pulled it all together last minute. He said in the press conference that yesterday’s practice was extra-difficult (although he didn’t specify why) and that being in the air conditioning today allowed them to go ahead and run a full practice instead of a walk-through.

Also, according to Raheem, Josh Freeman was not limited in practice today, or as he put it:

“Yeah, he did everything. No limited participation. He was out there going full go, full speed, full bore. Ready to go.”

So in case you were unclear on “not limited”, there you go. It’s what we anticipated, but it’s still nice to officially hear it.

Aww, hell, as long as I’m listening to the whole damn conference anyway, I’ll cover the highlights.

Brent Bowden was signed to the practice squad a couple days ago and according to Raheem, there will be an ongoing competition for the punting job. Raheem seems to place a lot of importance on the fact that Bowden was a draft pick. This topic arose from a reporter asking if Chris Bryan is the holder for placekicks, and although Raheem confirmed that he is, he didn’t go on to say he was doing well or anything. I’m telling you, this is a minefield.

Going back to the heat issue, Raheem took special time to thank the Glazers for allowing him to spend their money to accommodate the team’s needs to fight the heat. Renting different facilities, buying cooling tents, etc. He did say that one day it may lead to the team getting a “bubble”, which I guess is a temporary air conditioned facility. Like the one that collapsed in Dallas. One reporter asked how Raheem will know if practicing at the Trop will have a positive effect on the team. Raheem’s answer: “The result.” Great response.

Raheem confirmed that the team will wear those godawful all white uniforms early in the season. He cited heat-related reasons, which is fine, but at least pull out the pewter pants. As long as the jersey is white, who cares if their legs sweat? That seems like a good sentence to end this entry on.

Morris Defends Benn

August 31, 2010 at 09:43am by Scott   •  4 Comments »

Raheem Morris addressed the perception that Arrelious Benn isn’t developing as quickly as Mike Williams yesterday. A perception that arose from the fact that Arrelious Benn isn’t developing as quickly as Mike Williams.

“The unfair part is that Arrelious is being compared to Mike,” said Morris. “It is unfair to Arrelious because they got one at a different level. They are developing at a different speed.”

Whether the perception is true or not, it’s completely fair to compare them. They play the same position and were drafted in the same year, one two rounds ahead of the other. It would be insane not to compare them.

“Mike is the clear-cut starting X, and Rejus is coming. He’s starting to give you more every day.”

That’s good to know. It’s also good to know that Rejis is short for Arrelious.

“The thing you are going to get with him is in time.”

Huh? I don’t think that’s technically even a sentence.

“They are all rookies and how our draft class is playing is really what our fans should be excited about. The fact that when he has had opportunities he’s made some plays, he’s gone in there and made a block and made a play. They should be encouraged about what he is doing as a rookie rather than saying compared to Mike.”

Now this is starting to sound like spin, but let me say that I am fine with the spin. We were told in not so many words by Eric Yarber a couple weeks ago that Benn is a slow learner. In that entry, I chastised Yarber for bringing it up at all and not just letting it go as “everyone develops differently”. Morris is doing the right thing by trying to separate the two rookies, even if it’s unreasonable to ask the media not to compare them. Later in his quotes, Morris talks about how very few rookies actually start and that Benn’s pace is really more common. Williams just happens to be extraordinary. That’s the right angle.

People are getting nervous because another second-round wide receiver turned out to be a complete waste of skin not all that long ago. But Benn is different. He’s not afraid of contact and he’s willing to do anything. That’s half the battle.

Raheem Does Not Care If Ward Is In Shape

August 26, 2010 at 10:57am by Scott   •  2 Comments »

Raheem Morris‘s tirade didn’t stop at Sabby Piscitelli yesterday. Oh no. He also took aim at Derrick Ward, and even though he wasn’t as hard on Ward as he was on Sabby, it still makes you authoritatively point your finger at your monitor and say, “Ha! See? You can’t get away 1.5 YPC!” What, you guys don’t scream and point at your computers?

“When you get a bit older in this league, especially as a running back, you have to realize that you need to come into camp at a lighter weight, not heavier,” Coach Raheem Morris said. “I still have a lot of confidence in Derrick Ward that he’ll be ready and in shape to help us this season.”

I give this accusation of fatness a lot more weight (no pun) than I did when Mark Dominik called Donald Penn fat last month. Maybe Penn was fat in 2009, but he still performed so who cares. But Ward isn’t performing, so he deserves the criticism. According to him, though, Raheem is wrong.

“Ask my teammates – I’m not huffing or puffing, I’m not asking to be taken out of games,” said Ward, whose average yards per carry plunged from 5.6 to 3.6 in his first year with the Bucs. “My weight is good and I’m ready to go. If the first game of the season was this Sunday, I’d be ready.”

… said Ward as he licked out the bottom of a Nutella jar.

Okay, so let’s assume Ward is in great shape. Pewter Report followed that up by asking Ward to explain his anemic and pathetic rushing totals compared to an undrafted rookie who is running behind the same line.

Ward can’t explain why he isn’t having the same level of success running the ball that Tampa Bay’s other backs have enjoyed during the first two preseason games.

Honestly, I don’t think he needs to provide an explanation. He explained it perfectly all last year — that’s just the kind of back he is. “Why are you being exactly what we expected you would be?” Please. I would be more curious for an explanation if he we rushing for six yards per carry because that would be totally unexpected.

The Bucs list the 5-foot-11 Ward at 228 pounds, the same weight assigned to him since 2007, when he ran for 602 yards in spot duty with the Giants.

This is from Ira Kaufman‘s article and he knows better than to trust anything the Bucs’ web site says about weight. According to official Buccaneer and NFL records, every player has stayed at exactly the same weight from the day they were signed to the day they left. If you go by the web site, Penn has been 305 for five years running. Regardless of whose side you’re on, you know that’s simply not true.

After a breakthrough 1,025-yard season in 2008 as part of New York’s three-man backfield, Ward signed a four-year, $17 million deal with the Bucs that reportedly included $6 million in guaranteed money for 2009.

As long as I’m picking on Ira, here is a pet peeve of mine. He doesn’t have to use the word “reportedly”. Contract details are available to him; all he has to do is look them up. That’s like me saying it is reportedly raining outside. That means I heard a rumor that it’s raining, but I’m too lazy to walk to a fucking window and look. Christ, Florio combs contracts in excruciating and mind-numbing detail. Ira should be able to speak authoritatively about Ward’s guaranteed money with ten minutes of work.

Sorry, this wasn’t supposed to be a “pick on the reporter” entry. Let’s read some more of Raheem to lift us up. DID YOU EVER THINK I’D SAY THOSE WORDS IN A MILLION JILLION YEARS?!?

“Derrick knows what he needs to do. He has to go out there, he has to get it done and you’d better do it fast. In 2009, we weren’t a very good football team. We all struggled. He (Ward) wasn’t able to get the holes he wanted, but whatever the reasons were, they really don’t matter.”

Raheem doesn’t care about Ward’s weight or the condition of the field or what line he’s running behind. Just do it.. and according to Raheem, “you’d better do it fast.” I don’t know if I would say Ward is on a bubble here, but I would not spit coffee all over my monitor in disbelief if I read that he was released. But I would definitely point and yell at it.

The Rise Of Raheem Morris, Head Coach

August 25, 2010 at 11:09pm by Scott   •  5 Comments »

I love it when Christmas comes early. And today, Sabby Piscitelli‘s quote about being demoted to second string was in my stocking with a big fucking bow on it.

“I don’t think it was ever a competition,” said Piscitelli. “That’s my opinion. I don’t think it was a competition that’s all I’m going to say on that.”

Of course, Sabby went on to talk about it more, but I don’t even care. I don’t care how much he didn’t like being demoted or how much sand got in his vagina over the decision. When I read Raheem Morris‘s response to Sabby’s reaction, my heart swelled with something I think is… what’s the opposite of shame? Pride? No, not that far from shame. Less shame? Yeah, I think that’s it.

Buccaneers head coach Raheem Morris was asked for his reaction to Piscitelli’s comments.

“I don’t have to, and that’s unfortunate for him. That’s probably why he didn’t get it,” said Morris. “Generally you go out there and do your very best. That’s the thing to do, so that’s Sabby’s problem.”

Oh, fuck yes. YES! Finally, he holds someone responsible for their performance. None of this Derrick Ward “oh he didn’t get many carries” or Michael Clayton “I dare you to write something about him” or any of that other shit. Sabby is second string because he earned that spot. Come on, Raheem, let me have some more.

Morris was asked if the team would consider moving Piscitelli because he is unhappy that he lost the starting position.

“No there is no such thing as an unhappy player. The only the person that’s going to be unhappy here is me. His job is to make us happy,” said Morris. “He’s got to do his job. That’s the nature of the beast. That’s how the NFL works.”

“His job is to make us happy.” And you know what would make Raheem happy right now? For Sabby to block on kickoffs.

“He feels bad about not being a starter. He feels bad because he feels like he was unjustly done, and nobody really cares. You got to out there and get it done and show us what you got.”

“Nobody really cares.” God, that’s awesome. I was tempted to go back and listen to the audio to see if it all came out as smoothly as this article makes it out, but I don’t think I will. I don’t want to ruin it. I just want to enjoy this.

“I’m my worst critic, and I have to improve on every aspect of the game,” said Piscitelli. “I need to keep on improving, but if you ask me about that, I don’t think it was ever a competition.”

Does “that’s all I’m going to say on that” mean something different on the Jersey Shore (yes, I know he’s from Boca Raton, but just look at him and tell me he’s not The Situation’s stunt double.)

“My job is make sure they know they got to have me on the field some time. Just having that ability to make them say ‘we got to have Sabby on the field at some point, somewhere to make plays.’ That’s my job and I’m going to keep on doing that.”

Well, according to his boss, Sabby’s job is to make him happy. And Raheem likes crushed ice, so get it right next time.

“I’m just going to keep coming to work. I still have the same goals in mind. I’ll keep on improving. I know my ability. I know what I can do. I know I can help teams win. I can help this team win. I’m going to keep on playing my hardest and make plays.”

Did you see that? “Teams”. Sabby is already disassociating himself from the Bucs. In his brain, he sees his days as numbered. Whether Raheem just made this move to send a message or to motivate him or even if Raheem has long-term plans for Sabby as a full-time backup (a la Josh Johnson) or special teams guy, no one knows right now. But Sabby is already checking out. He’s talking about getting better and everything, but I bet he doesn’t wear Buccaneers gear on his personal time anymore.

Raheem has been up and down for the last 18 months. Mostly down. There’s been a lot to make fun of (and I really appreciate it, dude), but this has got to be his finest hour so far. He sounded like a head coach. Not a nervous kid making his first public speech, not a coach who desperately wants to be one of the guys — a fucking authority figure. A decision was made and he doesn’t care what anyone thinks of it. You could argue that he did the same thing when he defended Clayton last year, but we all knew how that was going to go and it came off as weak and empty. And if Sean Jones dogs it in the regular season, it will definitely lessen the impact of this moment in retrospect, but won’t destroy it. It will still stand as a defining moment when Raheem Morris risked being unpopular with a player and earned all our respect by doing it.

Someone Defended Josh Johnson Being The Backup

August 16, 2010 at 10:56am by Scott   •  6 Comments »

Derrick Ward running blindly into the backs of his teammates was probably the worst thing about the Bucs/Dolphins game this weekend, but Josh Johnson‘s fumbling and overthrowing clinic was a close second. I remember defending the team when they put Johnson in for Byron Leftwich last year because Josh Freeman still wasn’t ready and they had to find out what they had in Johnson. Now they know what they have: a running back. Joe Henderson of the Times wrote an article that tries to explain why the Bucs are keeping Johnson as their backup. Tomorrow he will write an article on why people should continue watching Entourage.

In a game that favors the young, we seem to like our backup quarterbacks old. It’s a comfort thing. Because the news is rarely good when a backup quarterback is required, and so a fan needs that sense of security when the moment arrives.

He’s setting up his article by establishing the opposite, which is common, and in this case the opposite point he’s making is 100% true. YES, we want a backup that will at least hold shit together and not lose the game. YES, we want comfort and experience. This is not unusual.

Josh Johnson’s eyes are bright. His muscles are taut. His student ID is probably still valid.

Okay, that’s funny. And applies to most of the team not named Barber.

Think about it. This is a franchise in transition. It is a team in the middle of a rebirth. If starting quarterback Josh Freeman goes down, it’s not going to change the Super Bowl landscape.

Oh, well then, why play the games? Mr. Joe Henderson has already declared the season to be a complete loss, so who needs anyone competent as the backup quarterback? Hell, just put the Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man under center and save some money. He’d look less nervous in the pocket than Johnson anyway.

Or, how about — hear me out on this — you have a backup that gives the team the best chance of winning regardless of what your perceived chances of winning the Super Bowl are? BOOM! Blew your mind, didn’t I?

So instead of a backup with a past, why not consider at a quarterback with a future?

Because, when you have a franchise starting quarterback, your backup has no future. Ask anyone who has backed up Brett Favre or Peyton Manning. I guess this is all because Matt Cassel did well for New England a couple years ago. You know why that was so noteworthy? Because it almost never fucking happens.

“He’s a dynamic guy. He’s got a strong arm, and he can do great things with his legs,” said quarterbacks coach Alex Van Pelt. “Absolutely, his potential makes him interesting to have around. He brings some different elements, and a different style than Josh (Freeman).”

Read that sentence and tell me if it makes you think Van Pelt really believes that Johnson is a good quarterback. He’s an athlete whose best plays have all been running the ball.

At this point, no one is suggesting Josh Johnson is a future star in this league. When he replaced veteran Byron Leftwich as Tampa Bay’s starting quarterback in early October last season, he was far too raw to be effective. He had trouble recognizing pressures and coverages.

But if you’re flushing your season down the toilet in August, who gives a shit, right?

Four weeks into his career as a starting quarterback, he was back on the bench without a victory and with twice as many interceptions as touchdowns. Still, there was enough there to make him worth holding on to. Enough physical ability. Enough eagerness to learn.

Which are precisely the qualities you look for in a third-string quarterback.

“I want to show them I’ve developed as a passer. That I can stand in there and take the hits. Slide over in the pocket and throw the ball downfield when the opportunity is there,” Johnson said. “It’s a process, but it’s going good.”

Johnson was 8 of 13 for 72 yards, one interception, one pass batted to himself that he took a loss on, two fumbles and zero scoring. But it’s going good.

It’s not as if the Bucs are venturing out on a limb by themselves. Tampa Bay is one of 10 teams that appears willing to start the season with a backup quarterback who has zero wins as a starter in the NFL.

And if everyone jumped off a bridge, little mister, would you do it, too?

“Usually you’ll get a veteran to teach guys how to play, but I have the luxury of having a guy like Alex Van Pelt who has been in that backup quarterback role and has been that crusty, old vet,” head coach Raheem Morris said. “I’m going to use him as much as I can in that role to groom these young quarterbacks.”

That’s stupid. You don’t have a veteran teach guys how to play, that’s what coaches are for. You have a veteran backup to give the starter pointers and shit, but not to teach him the game. A backup’s first job should be to play well enough to not lose the game in case the starter gets injured.

In a way, having Johnson and 24-year-old Rudy Carpenter as the only other quarterbacks on the roster may be a good thing for Freeman. When an NFL team is struggling, the cries for a backup quarterback are often deafening. In this case, the division between Nos. 1 and 2 is clear, which should take some of the pressure off Freeman.

But the team already took care of that by saying for the last year that Josh Freeman is the quarterback of the future. They’re building the team around him and “It’s all about number five” and all that shit. There is no doubt that they will live and die with Freeman and if the head coach is listening to the public for his depth chart suggestions, he should be fired anyway.

“If we got an older guy, it would have to be the right guy.”

“But if he’s young, we’ll take anyone.”

“You want it to be a guy who would come in and mentor Josh and not try to unseat him behind the scenes,” said offensive coordinator Greg Olson.

Then pick a veteran like that! There were some out there like that. Mark Brunell, Chris Redman, hell you had Leftwich and the whole world knows he’s just a backup now.

“Right now, we feel (Van Pelt) gives Josh that mentor-type role that a veteran backup would provide.”

But without the ability to suit up and play if someone hits Freeman low and tears his MCL and puts him out for six weeks. This just sounds like weak justification for poor depth. Maybe they’ll be fine and Freeman will turn out to be an ironman like Manning and Favre and the backup will never have to see the field. But that’s a pretty big risk to take just for… what? What’s the real reason for not having any veteran depth? Having such a blind dedication to the concept of “building through the draft” that signing a veteran backup is inconceivable? Not wanting to have anyone older than the head coach on the team? There’s got to be some weird, psychological reason for this because it clearly makes no sense from a practical standpoint.

Roster Moves, Because You Can Never Have Too Many Tight Ends

August 10, 2010 at 11:48pm by Scott   •  3 Comments »

Before today’s practice, the Bucs signed rookie safety Vince Anderson and claimed second-year tight end Martin Rucker off waivers from the Eagles. To make room, they cut Mario Urrutia and George Johnson. Urrutia is no surprise; his camp has been about as eventful as Mel Gibson‘s filming schedule. Add that he embarrassed the team with his scandalous arrest for an expired license and the fact that he was already 24 years old and it’s a wonder he lasted this long. But I had been hearing some good things about Johnson, so I guess the team feels pretty good about their depth at defensive end. I’ll go over that part of the roster tomorrow, but I still find it hard to believe that Carlton Powell and Brandon Gilbeaux got the nod over Johnson. Maybe Johnson’s name wasn’t snooty enough.

About the new guys…

Rucker was drafted in the fourth round by the Cleveland Browns in 2008 after a standout college career at the University of Missouri. He played in five games as a rookie with the Browns, then was waived in September of 2009 and signed to the Eagles’ practice squad. Rucker spent the majority of the ’09 campaign on that unit before being promoted to the active roster on December 15.

A first-team All-America selection in 2007, Rucker finished his college career with 200 receptions for 2,175 yards and 18 touchdowns. He is the brother of former Carolina Panthers defensive end Mike Rucker.

Whatever. I hear “fourth-round tight end” and I have a pretty good idea what I’m in for. He’s got to be an improvement over Jeron Mastrud, but now there are six tight ends on the roster. Meanwhile, there are still three true guards, and two of them are the starters. There has to be a reason.

” I know Martin Rucker. We played against him when I was at K-State.”

There it is. At some point, Morris is going to run out of old Kansas State players and opponents that he knows personally, right? He was only at that shithole for one year.

(I actually don’t know if Kansas State or the town of Manhattan, KS is a shithole. I’m completely basing my opinion on the corn-fed chick they have on the Kansas State homepage.)

“He diced us that day. It was a sad day.”

Sad Panda understands how you feel.

I’d like to take this moment to point out that the banner pic is Rucker. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a “Scared Shitless Panda” as a companion to the above, so I made the banner a clicky to calm myself down. Well, that and a handful of ludes. Yes, I’m that old. Fuck off.

Anderson first entered the NFL as an undrafted free agent with the New York Giants in 2009 and spent his rookie season on the Giants’ practice squad. He was released by New York this past June.

The 6-2, 205-pound Anderson played cornerback at Webber International, an NAIA school but was converted to safety after joining the Giants. He is the first player from Webber, a school of about 600 students, ever to sign with an NFL team. Anderson joined the Buccaneers in time to take part in their early-evening practice on Tuesday, while Rucker was flying in after his waiver claim and should join the team on the field on Wednesday.

After the team cut Dennis Rogan, there was a spot open for another scrub safety, so this makes a little more sense, but real estate agents shouldn’t bother calling him.

“And the other kid, the safety, we liked him on preseason tape last year and he was one of those guys you potentially think about claiming, actually stealing last year. He became available from the Giants and we had a chance to add him to our roster and look at some bodies.”

I had a joke in here about Cody Grimm offering to take Anderson hunting, but that was before I found the picture of Rucker holding an assault rifle, so it’s significantly less funny now. I’ll have to see if I can find a photo of Anderson burying landmines or something.

“At the end of the day, it’s the top physical 53. You want to give those guys opportunities, give them some looks and see what’s out there.”

Well, no, it’s the top few at each position. All their safeties are pretty physical, but some of them are getting cut because you don’t need seven safeties. Year to year, there’s actually very little variation in the number of players they keep at each position. One more here or one less there from time to time, but for the most part it’s pretty predictable. You know what’s unpredictable? My writing schedule. It’s 11:00 at night and I’m writing a fucking entry. My life rules!

Selling The Drama

August 02, 2010 at 10:41am by Scott   •  7 Comments »

I’d like nothing more than to rip on the local media for their recent stories on the other RFAs’ reaction to Donald Penn‘s contract and paint them as anti-Buc by intentionally trying to be divisive, but it really is the obvious story here and it would be silly to ignore it. Speaking of ignoring it…

Barrett Ruud, who last year staged a boycott similar but not as lengthy as the one Penn staged this year, has politely refused to speak to the media since word of Penn’s deal came down. In a move largely out of character for him, he ran past reporters seeking comment Sunday, saying, “I got nothing for you guys.”

I wish more players and coaches would take Barrett’s approach and just shut the hell up sometimes. Ruud publicly supported Penn in his attempt to get paid, but he can’t possibly be happy that the Bucs chose to reward one guy and not another, especially when Ruud has done everything the right way. He could have refused to sign his tender and been in a pretty good position. Adam Hayward is a better backup than Demar Dotson, but he’s no Ruud. But he was a good soldier and signed and now the Glazers have all the leverage.

“We’re not going to manufacture drama,” Raheem Morris said. “With Barrett, he signed his tender and we decided to move on, me and him both. We’re at the point where we’re going to go race for 10 (wins) and let the chips fall where they may. He understands the process. He’s a grown man and he’s handling it.”

You don’t have to manufacture the drama, Raheem. It blossomed quite naturally and it’s going to linger all season long. If Ruud doesn’t play well this year, the Glazers are going to look like the smartest owners ever. If he does, it’s going to be awkward offering Ruud a new contract and trying to convince him that they knew all along that he was the man. I’m envisioning Ruud walking into Mark Dominik‘s office and Dominik holding out his arms saying, “Hey, buddy!” and Ruud’s facial expression never changing. Especially after Dominik said shit like this:

“I think in any organization, you have to look at somewhat of a pecking order in terms of what you’re going to do for your organization,” general manager Mark Dominik said.

There are only two ways to take that. 1) Left tackle is more valuable than middle linebacker or 2) Due to backup situations, we need Penn mor than we need Ruud. In either case, it’s the wrong message to be sending to the guy who is going to make all the calls on the defense. “Pecking order”? Really?

Later, Dominik added: “I think every situation is different in the National Football League. At the same time, you can look at it and say this is part of (our) plan. We have a foundation that we really like. It’s not just the draft classes from 2009 and 2010. We have players on this football team that we really like.”

“It’s just that Barrett isn’t one of them,” Dominik did not add but might as well have. Has no one on this team learned the art of coachspeak? Here, this one’s free: “We saw an opportunity to get a deal done with Donald, so we wanted to get him locked in long term, and we’re very happy to have that done. Whenever other opportunities present themselves to get extensions done with key members of this team, we’ll definitely pursue them.” See how that works? Nothing concrete, but it sounds optimistic, like you’d really like to do the deal if only there was an opportunity. Leave out that shit about pecking orders and which players you like. That way you don’t piss off guys who can pound you into an accordion with one punch, like Jeremy Trueblood.

“Right now, I don’t know what (Bucs management is) thinking and I really don’t care,” Trueblood said. “I just want to get ready for the season. You’d like to say (Penn’s signing is good for the rest of us), but I don’t (know) that. His relationship with the Bucs has nothing to do with mine.”

Give Trueblood credit for not flying off the handle and going all bald-Hulk on everyone. He has been at this longer than Penn, started 61 of 63 games over the last four years, and probably feels like he has done just as much as Penn to earn an extension. He hasn’t, of course. Penn has been better in just about every way, but that’s not the point here. He came across as slightly frustrated, and that will do just fine.

Unlike Penn, the Bucs’ other RFAs all signed the one-year tender the Bucs offered them and are under contract for the 2010 season. Their futures are uncertain, however, and Morris said the fact that the Bucs’ decision may make them angry workers could be good for the team.

Are you ready for this?

“I hope so,” Morris said when asked if the Bucs’ stance on contracts will make the other RFAs angry workers. “I want all of them to be angry workers. That’s when you get the best out of yourself.”

He goes on to give an example of how Ronde Barber was always angry because he felt underdrafted and underappreciated and that’s why he did so well. It had nothing to do with skill or intelligence — it was all anger.

“I like the angry worker mentality. It transitions nice into a heck of a game-day player.”

You can’t be this simple. There’s a difference between angry and motivated. Sometimes a dose of anger can inspire some motivation and then maybe good things happen. But much of the time, anger is just anger and leads to sloppy play, penalties, ejections, injuries… lots of negative shit. Everybody is different. Some players need to feel like their job is in constant jeopardy in order to motivate them to play well. Other guys need to feel wanted — Penn said that specifically about himself the other day. If they feel you’re not on their side, they will be less inclined to play hard for you. And some guys don’t give a shit either way and just want to play ball. That’s why being a head coach is so hard. You have to be able to tell the difference and treat each player accordingly so as to get the most out of them. If you want a bunch of angry players, lace all their lunches with gun powder for week and you’ll have it, but I don’t think you’ll like the results.

Whatever happens, we’re all probably going to have to wait until January for it. I’d bet money that the Glazers aren’t going to hand out any more extensions until the end of the season. And by then, all the RFAs should be good and angry, just like Raheem wants them.

Oh No Raheem Is Talking Again

July 26, 2010 at 10:31am by Scott   •  2 Comments »

Raheem Morris spoke with reporters last week about the upcoming training camp and what fans can expect, and I think you’ll agree with me that his vision is crystal clear.

“We’ll treat the first day like it was your last. Treat your last day like it was your first.”

Umm, yeah. Usually the last day of camp is spent in shorts, walking through some shit but mostly slacking off. That’s how he’s starting camp now? Or does he mean the last day of camp will actually be spent in pads like the first day? Which is actually the last day now, I guess. All the days in between will be spent in Civil War re-enactments.

With only one week of training camp open to the public this year, Morris is not concerned about Bucs fans jumping off the bandwagon. Instead, he plans to use last year’s struggles as motivation for his players and to regain fan support.

“The support is not going to come from the average fan. The support is going to come from the Buccaneer lover,” Morris said. “The 3-13 will help us thrive. The 3-13 is what’s going to make us. The 3-13 is what we’re going to look at, set examples for, and go out and really punish people for it.”

The subject will begin every sentence. The subject will be repeated so you’re sure what he’s talking about. The subject will make the whole rant seem more important than it really is. The subject and the predicate combine to form a complete sentence.

I’m really not sure what one thing has to do with the other. I thought this was about fan support. But then he starts talking about last year’s record and how it’s going to motivate the team. Is the 3-13 supposed to get them more fan support? I don’t think that’s the way it works. I’m pretty sure there’s no sympathy vote in sports, except for the Washington Generals. Man, I really think those guys are due.

Maybe years from now, Raheem’s idiosyncratic way of speaking will seem charming and humorous, like listening to Hank Stram telling his boys to keep matriculating the ball down the field. Of course, Stram won an AFL championship and a Super Bowl, so he earned the right to be a little eccentric. If, ten years from now, Raheem has some hardware on his hands, no one will care that he sounds like an escaped mental patient during his press conferences. But sitting at 3-13, Raheem just sounds like a dumbass when he talks like this. Slooooow doooooown, Raheem. Articulate. Think before you speak. Or just Twitter your press conferences. How many times could you possibly repeat yourself in 140 characters? THAT WAS NOT A CHALLENGE.

Only Ten Players Need To Have An Impact

July 20, 2010 at 11:27am by Scott   •  11 Comments »

I sometimes get fooled by authors that I don’t read all that much. I start reading an article and before too long I’m thinking, “Wow, this guy kind of sucks,” but I keep reading because I evidently have some disease where I can’t just stop reading a shit article or stop watching a shit movie or stop listening to a shit song. I have to keep going on to its conclusion because of some slim hope that there’s going to be a payoff at the end or because of my utter disbelief that something can suck so hard. Anyway, I keep reading and slowly get this feeling of suck-deja vu. You know, when you could swear that you’ve experienced this particular kind of sucking before. Well, I got that feeling when reading Tom Edrington‘s latest article on Bleacher Report about the Buccaneers. It’s about the ten Bucs who “need to make an impact” in 2010, implying I guess that there are 43 other players who can just show up and collect a check. It took a couple minutes, but I finally remembered that I’ve covered Edrington’s articles twice before, hating them both times. So here’s a third one, because as I said, I have a disease.

“He’s an impact player” is one of those phrases you hear that should be ignored because they are meaningless, like “He gives 110%” or “Please stop groping me.” But Tom thinks he has found ten players that need to have an impact more so than any of the others. Thank goodness there were only ten. This could have dragged on a long time.

He’s not a player, but Raheem Morris needs to be an impact coach.

But how can he ever hope to make a difference with such an ineffectual title as “Head Coach”?

Most league observers still feel that the combination of an inexperienced GM (Mark Dominik) and an inexperienced head coach, Morris, is not a winning one.

Every football fan is a “league observer”. So I guess Edrington just stood up in a sports bar when a game was on and asked the crowd for a show of hands who thought Dominik and Morris were winners. When less than half of the hands went up, he decided what “most league observers” thought.

On Ronde Barber:

He’ll also have to prove that his body can still hold up for an entire NFL season.

Barber has participated in every game since 1998 and started every game since 2000. But he still has to prove his durability, huh? Some guys just don’t break. People are always talking about how Peyton Manning is indestructible; Ronde should be thought of in the same way — and Ronde still plays special teams! Fuck this guy for even insinuating that Barber has anything to prove with regard to his health or toughness.

On Barrett Ruud:

But the fact is that he’s certainly no Hardy Nickerson.

Hardy left the Bucs after the 1999 season. We’re still comparing middle linebackers to him, huh? Shelton Quarles would have been a better choice.

Barrett needs to make more tackles that aren’t 10-15 yards down field.

If that hadn’t already been written 100 times before in other publications, Edrington never would have said it. He’s not watching games, he’s reading other people’s articles.

Some will say that safety Sabby Piscitelli has already won his starting job.

Nobody says that. Not a single person has said that ever.

There are people that probably wish that but Sabby will have his shot in training camp.

Nobody wishes that, either. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? Is he still in that same sports bar where he took the Morris/Dominik poll. He needs to leave there because those people are obviously idiots.

If all else fails, then perhaps Morris can re-do the Jermaine Phillips experiment and move Piscitelli to linebacker.

That’s the fucking stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, and I live in Georgia. Why would he even say that? Because the Phillips experiment worked out so well? My god this guy’s dumb. He could put Captain Fear and the concession vendor on this list and it still wouldn’t be as dumb as the Sabby-to-linebacker statement.

Wait until you get a gander at Gerald McCoy‘s contract, if and when it happens.

This is just a nitpicky thing, but “if and when” bothers me. “When” assumes “if”. It’s like Florio’s use of “unless and until”. I suppose it sounds lawyery, but it makes no fucking sense, just like most lawyers.

On Maurice Stovall:

Stovall is the big target Freeman needs. You simply cannot count on him finding the diminutive Sammy Stroughter all the time.

Wes Welker: 5-9
Sammie Stroughter: 5-10

Maurice Jones-Drew caught 53 passes at 5-7. Darren Sproles caught 45 passes at 5-6. Frank Gore caught 56 passes at 5-9. Steve Smith caught 65 passes at 5-9. Devery Henderson caught 51 passes at 5-11. How long do you want me to do this? Because I can go on like this for days. Short != unreliable.

There’s other little shit in his article, but those are the most infuriating. At some point I just have to realize that it’s okay to stop reading. I’m going to have a damn heart attack if I keep up this pace of hate. And that’s not how I want to die. I want to go snorting meth and Drano off a mute hooker’s double-F breasts while Europe’s “The Final Countdown” plays in an endless loop at 150 dB.

REAR ENTRIES: Getting Desperate

July 18, 2010 at 11:31am by Scott   •  3 Comments »

BUCS SKIP SUPPLEMENTAL DRAFT: The Buccaneers did not submit any bids in the supplemental draft.

Harvey Unga will not be playing for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers this season. Neither will Joshua Price-Brent.

Really? You don’t say. Who could have possibly predicted that absolutely nothing would happen with this?

NIKO HELPS HOMETOWN FOOTBALL: Niko Koutouvides is trying to get kids in his home town of Plainville, CT interested in playing football again.

Getting kids out for football has been a problem at Plainville, particularly at the high school level, which was down to roughly 20 players by Thanksgiving.

Damn, that’s a tough roster even if you were playing six-man football.

“I’m kind of upset at myself because I should have been involved earlier,” Koutouvides said. “I got a couple phone calls about the high school team struggling and they were asking me to write a letter to make sure they don’t get rid of the program. I decided I had to get involved in the community and with the program.”

Okay, so the Bucs didn’t select somebody and Nike Koutouvides wrote a letter. All we need is Ben Stein calling attendance and the image of the most boring entry ever will be complete. We may need to spice this up a bit.

GREG AND RAHEEM HANG OUT WITH LINGERIE MODELS: Now we’re talking. According to Whatthebuc.net, there was a fundraiser at 717 a few nights ago and Greg White took part by playing bartender for a night. The details are kind of sparse after that, but all you need to know is that the Tampa Breeze was there. Sadly, so were their clothes.

Raheem Morris also showed up and did his part for the kids.

Just so you’re not expecting it, I’m going to skip the clicky this time because I don’t want there to be any confusion that any of the chicks in the banner pic are the clicky subject. The last thing I need is to get sued by a bunch of hot chicks. Again. Why can’t you broads take it as a compliment when someone makes a series of Play-doh sex dolls and gives them your names? Anyway, I’ll make it up to you during the week sometime.

UPDATE: So I guess all those chicks aren’t on the Breeze? According to this Facebook entry, only Brandyce Trowell was scheduled to be there, so maybe they were just there hanging out. In the middle of this update, I decided it didn’t matter.