May 13, 2008

Garcia To Bucs: WAAAAAHHHH

Jeff Garcia spouted off about his contract again at today's voluntary OTAs.

"This is a physical game and you want players to go out and give everything they have and lay their bodies on the line, lay their hearts on the line," Garcia said, in an apparent message to team management. "Well, we want you to lay something on the line."

They are, douche. Two million dollars in salary. That's the deal you signed up for. That's what you agreed to take for putting your body on the line in the game of football. Are you new here or something? I have never understood why players insist on stating the obvious point that football is a physical game. I'm pretty sure he knew it was a physical game before he signed his contract. The Buccaneers aren't any more violent than any other team in the league. I could understand if he was with the Raiders and wanted a special "In Case I'm Stabbed" stipend. Other than that, no.

"There might be a time when I have to stand up," he said. "I hate to do that to jeopardize my teammates because they're out here and I don't want to let them down in any sort of way. But I think at some point, you just want to see the respect (from) up top given."

What does that mean? You're going to hold out of mandatory OTAs and camp, or you're just not going to show up to the voluntary stuff? For someone who's supposed to be such a tough guy, you're kind of being a whiny little bitch about this whole thing. Say you're going to hold out if that's your intention.

As I've stated in previous entries, Jeff Garcia is all about the money. The Bucs knew it several years ago and it hasn't changed, so it should be no surprise to Jeff that the team is treating this like a total business transaction. And from a business standpoint, the fact is that Garcia will be 39 when the season starts and Bruce Allen is justifiably reluctant to give him any kind of extension this early in the offseason. Allen has until February 2009 to make it happen. Someone like Earnest Graham I would expect to get extended sooner rather than later because of his age and the fact that he's been unselfish in the past.

Allen said he was going to extend some of their current players. I'm sure he's terribly sorry that it's not happening according to Garcia's schedule or that he's not first in line. But he's got other shit on his plate as well. Business is business, right, Jeff? That's what you told him in 2004 when you went to Cleveland.

Posted by Scott at 2:38 PM | Comments (1)
Tags for this article: bruce allen, earnest graham, get off my lawn, jeff garcia

When Did Joe Horn Become The Quiet Professional?

Joe Horn is looking to get traded to a team that will give him more playing time than he thinks the Falcons will give him this year. He's put it out there, but that's as far as he's going to take it.

Horn said that he would be professional for as long as he remains with the Falcons. He said he hopes the Falcons will push to deal him to a team who values him as a contributor.

"They're going with the younger guys and I don't have a problem with that, if that's the course they've chosen," Horn said. "I want to have an opportunity to play with a team that needs a veteran to play and contribute and who helps the young guys.

He even makes the cases for his competition:

"I know I can still play -- and start -- but Roddy [White] deserves his chance and Laurent Robinson is making plays and he deserves his chance," Horn said.

I suppose compared to Chad Johnson, anyone who doesn't set fire to their training facility because they want to be traded is a saint. But Horn seems like he's matured a lot since his "Hollywood" days and now just wants to be a contributor to a winning team, which is cool. I guess when you start your career with the Memphis Mad Dogs of CFL USA, you gain some perspective. And, no, the Buccaneers shouldn't sign him. It's not a fit for either side and not worth trade compensation of any kind. Don't be silly.

(Heh... the Memphis Mad Dogs. Who's idea was it to try and put Canadian football teams in the deep south? We don't like people from neighboring counties down here. Someone thought we'd embrace teams from another country? Oh, those Canadians are so naive and cute. I'd kind of like to have one as a pet sometime.)

Posted by Scott at 10:09 AM | Comments (1)
Tags for this article: canadians, falcons, joe horn, nfc south

ESPN Punches The Clock For May

ESPN has put the Buccaneers at #15 in their offseason Power Rankings. It's not that I mind these kinds of exercises in time-wasting. It's May, after all, and these guys have to fill their time somehow. But why do the Buccaneers get zero love, year after year? This time they put four teams that didn't make the playoffs last year ahead of the Bucs. This includes Philadelphia who, aside from signing Asante Samuel, did nothing to really improve their team. On the other hand, they had the GIants ranked at #9 at the end of the 2007 regular season. The Giants go ahead and run the table to win the Super Bowl, and only move ahead to #6? And who is #1 heading into the offseason? I'll give you one guess. That seems to be the only real requirement of the list. Stick the Patriots at number one, and slot everyone else based on the same silly criteria you always use.

Ehh, I don't know why I'm getting worked up about it. Last year they had the Ravens, Saints, Broncos, Eagles, and Bengals in their Top 10, none of whom made the playoffs. Here was their comment on the 2007 Bucs, which they had ranked at #27:

How many QBs does a team need? Jeff Garcia, Chris Simms, Bruce Gradkowski, Luke McCown and, just for fun, maybe Jake Plummer. Clipboards for everybody!

Watch for this same joke sometime during training camp this year.

Posted by Scott at 8:59 AM | Comments (0)
Tags for this article: someone actually paid this person to write this shit

Jovan Haye Re-Signs

After Jovan Haye let the RFA deadline pass without signing an offer sheet from another club, it was only a matter of time before he signed the Bucs' tender and re-joined the team.

As is the case with a majority of players who become restricted free agents, Haye re-signed by simply accepting the tender offer the team had extended in February.

Now, let's not make it sound like Haye is working for minimum wage. His tender offer was more than $2 million. And now that he's signed, the Bucs are at their roster limit.

Moving forward, any signings from among those 13 draft picks and exclusive rights free agents will require a complementary cut from the roster.

Some notable names not yet signed to a contract for 2008: Donald Penn, Greg White, Andrew Economos, Chad Lucas, Donte Nicholson. And none of them can negotiate with another team, so I'm guessing all of them will eventually sign whatever they're offered just so they can at least get on a team. If they get cut, they become unrestricted and can move on. Chances are the Bucs will offer White and Penn something more than the minimum, but not enough to make them truly happy. Economos has been a good long snapper, too, so he'll probably stick around. Lucas and Nicholson will most likely stick as camp meat, but be cut sometime in August.

Posted by Scott at 6:21 AM | Comments (2)
Tags for this article: andrew economos, chad lucas, donald penn, donte nicholson, greg white, jovan haye

May 12, 2008

Greg Spires Finds Work

Greg Spires finally found work. He signed with the Raiders over the weekend.

The Raiders have wanted to acquire a proven edge rusher since they lost free agent Chris Clemons to Philadelphia. Spires fits the description as a 10th-year veteran with 39.5 career sacks, including a career-high eight in 2004.

That sound you heard is Rod Marinelli pounding his fist on his desk because he missed out on getting another ex-Buccaneer defensive guy.

Posted by Scott at 9:10 AM | Comments (0)
Tags for this article: greg spires, raiders

Warren Sapp Has An Opinion Or Two

I got an email the other day about Warren Sapp being on the radio with Dan Patrick for a 20 minute interview. I hadn't heard about it since I don't listen to Patrick, but was happy to learn that he archives his shows as mp3 podcasts so that I can go through them and listen to as little of his voice as possible. Here's the one with Sapp on it. There's other non-football stuff on there, too, but you can skip over that. Sapp's segment starts at 14:23. If you don't feel like downloading the whole thing, here's a very abbreviated and summarized version of it. But you really have to hear Sapp's voice to get the full experience.

Will Sapp come back?
No, not for Tony Dungy, Jon Gruden, Rod Marinelli... no one. Not even as just a third down pass rusher. "Thank you but no thank you."

Funniest thing that happened between him and Brett Favre?
Favre used the number 99 as part of a play call last year against the Raiders. Sapp could read his lips in the huddle and couldn't believe Favre was so brazen as to actually name the play after him, knowing he was going to run it to his side. Sapp called out that the play was going left before the ball was snapped and Favre busted out laughing.

Spygate:
"If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying." Sounds like he spent one too many seasons in the Raider locker room.

Then Patrick starts in on Sapp about him falling in the draft because of cocaine and Sapp lays into him hard. This is such old news; I can't believe Patrick even brought the subject up. "And if it wasn't for Brady Quinn and Aaron Rodgers ... I'd still be the poster child for a draft day fall." This is a fascinating part of the interview because despite Sapp's assertion that he doesn't mind talking about it, it's obviously a sore spot with him.

Then he backhandedly threatens Chris Mortensen.

On whether Al Davis is still really in charge of the Raiders:
"Don't kid yourself because you see the man with a walker; it's just his legs. There's nothing wrong with his brain."

On why Randy Moss is no longer a Raider:
The game had passed Art Shell and Tom Walsh by (the Raiders did not even have a three step drop in their playbook that year.) Tom Walsh is the reason Randy Moss is not with the Raiders anymore.

On Chad Johnson:
He disagrees with what Chad is doing but he understands why he feels like he has to do it. "At some point you have to realize that you're just an empty red wagon making a lot of noise and you did sign a legally binding contract. So either go to work or shut up."

Biggest career regrets:
"Didn't finish it in Tampa, didn't get 100, didn't catch Lee Roy."

Does he like Jon Gruden?
"Love him."

Why didn't he finish in Tampa?
"Monte Kiffin made a decision that he and Rod Marinelli picked McFarland and Gruden asked if they were sure and they said yeah, so they signed him."

Did he ever feel bad after a sack?
One time he and Steve White sacked Chris Chandler and he accidentally kicked Chandler in the head while standing back up.

They covered a couple other topics that I didn't touch on here, so when you have a few free minutes, listen to the whole thing. I especially like Sapp's answer to whether or not he liked Gruden. Members of the Tampa media (you know who you are) love portraying Gruden as a guy who can't get along with players and that the players secretly hate. And time and again, they keep coming back saying Gruden is a good guy.

Anyway, Sapp sounds happy with his decision and really needs to pursue a career in television somewhere. Maybe ESPN. That way he'd get to share an elevator with Chris Mortensen, who very likely would have to start carrying a change of underwear in his briefcase.

Posted by Scott at 6:08 AM | Comments (0)
Tags for this article: art shell, brett favre, buccaneer history, chris chandler, chris mortensen, jon gruden, tom walsh, warren sapp

May 9, 2008

Tony Dungy Really Hates The Patriots

One of the things I have enjoyed about Tony Dungy this past year is how he takes any available opportunity to dig the Patriots about their whole signal-stealing scandal. Sometimes it's sarcastic, sometimes it's serious, sometimes it's funny, but it's always on the tip of his tongue, ready to again poke at Bill Belichick's scab like Bart Simpson ("Ow! Quit it.")

For example, Dungy was in Tampa speaking to some high school kids about his book. One student asked him if anything happened last season that he wished he could have put in the book. What oh what could it have been?

"We talk about how important it is to do things the right way and have integrity so that when you do win, people can never ask that question," he said. "That's the great thing that I'm happy about with our team.

"Yes, we won. But no one is really going to ask, 'Did they cheat? Did they do things the right way?' I think our record speaks for itself and if you're a true champion, that's the way you'd like it to be."

Dungy may lament not being able to put that chapter in his book, but he'll have another chance to devote some ink to it soon enough.

Sales have topped 900,000 and co-author Nathan Whitaker said there might be a sequel on the way.

Yeah, "might". The book was wildly popular, exceeded all expectations and sold tons of copies, the author is on the verge of retirement from his day job and he'll have nothing but time on his hands to devote to preaching and ministering. And even without all those factors, you know he'd put another book out just to get the Patriots off his chest.

I still haven't read Dungy's book. I keep meaning to, but I feel like I'm just going to get preached at when I do. I live in Georgia, so if I'm really in the mood for a sermon, they're not hard to find and it will only take an hour to get through as opposed to reading Dungy's book, which will take days. Don't judge me. Why can't publishers just spell out the big words phonetically?

I am, however, just finishing up the Vince Lombardi biography, "When Pride Still Mattered". As opposed to Dungy's quiet strength, this is all about loud, boisterous, angry strength, which I have to believe makes for much more interesting reading. I recommend it.

Posted by Scott at 8:46 AM | Comments (1)
Tags for this article: bill belichick, tony dungy, vince lombardi

May 8, 2008

The Bucs Need To Sign Adam Archuleta Today

Look, I'm not saying that the Buccaneers need Adam Archuleta on their team. I'm not even advocating keeping him around when the roster is cut to 53. The Bucs have enough safeties and they're all better than Archuleta. But his wife is August 2001 Playmate of the Month Jennifer Walcott.

See, signing Archuleta will inevitably lead to the occasional mention of Jennifer, which means I'll have to go hunting for pictures of her to post here, which makes everyone who is reading this a winner. And do you know the kinds of pictures out there of Playmates? Good ones. If I just go posting photos of Jennifer for no good reason, then I'm a hack who is trying anything to get you to read. But if Archuleta is on the team, I can post the same pictures and be considered relevant! The Jeff Garcia thing has worked out pretty well so far, right? So join me in the campaign for the Bucs to sign Archuleta through training camp and let's spend the summer enjoying ourselves with gratuitous bikini pics and intensive stretching.

Posted by Scott at 12:01 PM | Comments (1)
Tags for this article: adam archuleta, jennifer walcott, things i am wishing for

John Lynch Has A Chip On His Shoulder

Sorry for all the stories about former Bucs. The current ones aren't doing anything interesting, though. I promise my next irrelevant post will at least have some tits in it.

For the first time in a long time, John Lynch feels like he has something to prove. Mostly because some of his teammates think he should have retired this year and make way for some younger guys.

"I think there's a split among the staff," Lynch said Wednesday after recognizing the academic, athletic and community achievements of young student leaders at his "Salute the Stars" program's annual banquet. "Some were happy for me to come back and some didn't say anything -- which tells you something."

Lynch believes coach Mike Shanahan is in his corner, "but there were some people who probably felt they were better without me" or, more succinctly, that he had become a "situational player."

In an effort to keep his job and also to beat the shit out of anyone who doubts him, Lynch is working out in some fashion three times a day, seven days a week. Hasn't anyone told him about the magic of steroids? Here's some of what he does:

John Lynch has worked with former Marine Pete Egoscue as his trainer for more than 20 years and they've resumed their partnership this offseason. Core fitness and postural alignment are chief principles toward delivering total-body health under Egoscue's regimen. Among the items on Lynch's to-do list:

* Daily workouts at 5 a.m., 11 a.m. and after dinner.

* A varied approach to fitness, including items such as bear crawls on the beach, running hills, yoga, intensive stretching, obstacle course and barefoot drops in the sand.

* More pull-ups than perhaps he has done in his basement, Rocky-style.

I didn't even know there was a 5 a.m., and that's when Lynch has already woken up, brushed his teeth, had some kind of nourishment and started working out? Wow, that's impressive. In fact, that whole list looks like it's got... wait a second.

"Intensive stretching"? What the fuck is intensive stretching? British Catholics in the sixteenth century were subjected to intensive stretching. I don't think whatever Lynch is doing qualifies. Unless it's a new euphemism for masturbation that I'm not aware of. In which case, it's brilliant. I wish I'd thought of it when my parents were knocking on the bathroom door wondering what was taking me so long. "I'm just doing some intensive stretching! Repeatedly!"

Posted by Scott at 10:17 AM | Comments (1)
Tags for this article: broncos, john lynch

Shaun King Is Happy But Not Really

The Tribune did a brief interview with Shaun King and it's exactly as exciting as it sounds. King is currently doing color commentary for Arena League games and he's not bitter at all about the way his football career turned out.

Well, I mean it's one of those things that sometimes in life you give everything you have to something and you don't necessarily get back what you feel like you deserve from it.

I would like to quote Denis Leary here: "Life sucks, get a fucking helmet." Oh wait, that quote doesn't really work for King.

Actually, it's hard to rip King for his football since his career passer rating is better than two of the quarterbacks currently on the roster (Bruce Gradkowski and Chris Simms) and only slightly worse than two of the others (Luke McCown and Brian Griese). A decent running game and an unbelievable defense make his numbers during his first couple years look better than they really are, but he did make his share of plays. But it seems like after that Pittsburgh game in 2002, he just lost whatever he might have been able to give to a team. Even Tony Dungy couldn't find a spot for him on the Colts roster.

Which leads me to another weird point. Dungy's track record with former Buccaneers really sucks. King, Joe Hamilton, Anthony McFarland, Simeon Rice... they all came into Indianapolis and fell right on their faces, except for McFarland who did actually play for half a year before spending another season on IR. It makes you wonder how Rod Marinelli will do with all his old Bucs in Detroit. If Brian Kelly, Dwight Smith, Dewayne White and Chartric Darby contribute in any meaningful way for the Lions this year, Marinelli will be doing significantly better with his former Bucs than Dungy ever did. I don't know if this makes Marinelli a better coach or not, but it does indicate something.

Wait, where was I going with this? Oh, right, King.

So if the opportunity presents itself to go to the NFL I would surely go, but I'm content.

It's funny because I was just thinking the same thing about myself. I'm ok where I am, but yes, if an NFL team did call me in to play, I would surely go also. Me and King have a lot in common, except I wasn't cut by the two worst teams in the NFL and an AFL team inside of two years.

Huh, I guess it's not as hard to rip him as I thought.

Posted by Scott at 8:58 AM | Comments (0)
Tags for this article: buccaneer history, rod marinelli, shaun king, tony dungy